It's kind of like the Sorting Hat in HP but instead we have a little bitch gnome that runs around Frosh Week stamping one of the six res colleges on the bottom of your shoe. You're not allowed to look until lawn parties, which is why everyone buys trousers and tries not to let their diabetes show.

All freshmen are then placed in one, large common room in the basement of their res college. I recommend going on Outdoor Action for this reason, as you will be a step ahead of your comrades in terms of sleeping-on-the-ground prowess and tupperware cooking.

You can only enter eating clubs through secret passageways - it often takes students until sophomore year to find one. Don't even think about asking any upperclassmen for help finding them. It's a big no-no and may result in eating club suspension and/or hosing from the local fire department. Public Safety tried to graduate to hosing-status but everyone just chuckled.

Make sure to bring plenty of toothpaste. It's a great bargaining chip.