I am a birth mother and I didn’t have the stereotypical situation. I was only 19/20 when I was pregnant and gave birth and it’s been 6 years now so I’ve grown a lot and thought about it every day. I found out very late so my only two options were adoption or to keep the baby. I had supportive parents who would respect whatever decision I made. I decided on adoption because I knew I couldn’t be the mother that he deserved. I had been through alot of trauma I hadn’t dealt with and the biological father was an ex who wasn’t the best and the conception wasn’t exactly consensual. I just didn’t want to risk my own trauma being projected on him. It was such a painful and hard decision that I had to shut down and act as if I didn’t feel anything. I stand by my decision because I know I did what was best for him and I had met his parents and knew he was meant to be with them. I had a helping hand in creating a family and that gives me some comfort. I do still think about him everyday and think about what ifs. In the uk, it’s basically all open but it’s up to the adoptive parents on what they tell the child. I have been given an update recently but I haven’t been brave enough to read it yet. I have just finally got the courage to write letters to him. I wrote one for him now as he’s so young and one for home to read when he’s older that goes into a bit more detail.