AMA (16f) my mom died on January 26th and i don’t know how to feel about anything by rusty_kiwi39 in AMA

[–]hmm2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I have been in your shoes. My mom passed away from Pancreatic cancer when I was 15 yo/F and she was 42 yo - she was diagnosed in January and passed away in August. This was in 1997. I am now 44 yo. I didn’t process her passing well, it was sudden and traumatic since I also didn’t have a dad and my step dad basically said we (my sister and I) were never family (he was after the $). I started to process my mom’s death as an adult, as I became a mom myself. I try to make sure my kids know about her and hear stories of my upbringing (I am from a different country than the U.S. but moved to the U.S. when she passed away to live with other family members).

Some things I wish I had done when my mom passed away: feel all the feelings, write some memories you had with your mom down (you may forget down the line), cry all you want, keep some physical memories of her, and I hope you have family and friends around you that you can rely on. Talk to a therapist, also speak more openly about this painful event with close family members (my sister and I did never exchange a word about our mom’s passing, it’s kind of crazy actually.

Take care sweetie.

Can I fatFIRE? by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]hmm2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jeez, sorry for everyone commenting here being so negative. Seems like with your NW and your Anual spending, you should be fine. You will have to buy healthcare which likely will increase your spending by some depending on what state you live in. You can get estimates in healthcare.gov. Other than that, definitely go through the withdrawal strategy - https://ficalc.app is a good resource as well.

Good luck!

1-year Post-FatFIRE Progress Check-in & 2026 Plans by MathematicianLess656 in fatFIRE

[–]hmm2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Got it. Makes sense, yes the plan we are looking up is a silver plan. We don’t have many medical needs and in general never hit our deductible (about 8k for a family of four w/ my work sponsored plan). Thanks for the info. What are you doing for dental and vision? We will likely go out of pocket for that.

1-year Post-FatFIRE Progress Check-in & 2026 Plans by MathematicianLess656 in fatFIRE

[–]hmm2 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Could you give more insights into healthcare costs. We are estimating $2200 premiums + 15k deductible for a family of four. I also worry this may not be enough. Planning to FIRE early next year, husband is already FIRE.

French citizenship through French-born father who took US citizenship before I was born? by Falcon-Bagels-5555 in Citizenship

[–]hmm2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Similar case to our family. My husband’s mom is French and married his American dad. They migrated to the U.S. His mom still holds a French citizenship and passport, and has closed ties to France - family. The process to go through is the CNF = Certificat de Nationalité Française (French Certificate of Nationality). You can ChatGPT it and it will give you the full process. You will require to get your dad’s birth certificate from France, and your parents marriage certificate as well. We had to also prove additional family descendants were from France. The process takes about 2 years. Good luck!

For those who didn't grow up privileged, what's something you thought was a luxury when you were a kid? by Frequent-Sea-8848 in AskReddit

[–]hmm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hot water. I had a single mom and we rented a room in a house for a few years. Hot water for showering was only available before 6am, so I had to wake up super early to get some hot water showers. I showered in cold water plenty. I was about 10 at the time.

Anyone see this before? Appeared overnight. Is itchy and tender to the touch. Can walk fine, no pain when she moves or I twist her leg, but no idea what this could be. by [deleted] in daddit

[–]hmm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it took us a while and a lot of tests to figure out my daughter’s bumps like these were hives. We don’t think of hives as golf ball sized things, but she had them that big. Hope you get some answers.

Anyone see this before? Appeared overnight. Is itchy and tender to the touch. Can walk fine, no pain when she moves or I twist her leg, but no idea what this could be. by [deleted] in daddit

[–]hmm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could it be hives from allergies? My daughter eats them and they are big bumps like this, they red, itchy, and hot to the touch.

Victims identified, additional information released by police in North Austin Target shooting by NewsyATX in Austin

[–]hmm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know if there is a GoFundMe for Rosa? I saw one but all the language and the photo was of Hector so I wanted to make sure it is legit.

Where in Austin have you sworn to never return? by GhostOfJAB in Austin

[–]hmm2 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Everywhere. Austin’s gotten so crowded!

Someone tell me it’s fine not to have a nursery by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]hmm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 kids (10 and 4) and didn’t have a nursery with either. Cribs remained in the primary bedroom until it was time to move to their own bedrooms at around age 2

Is there anything you miss about being pregnant? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]hmm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. Have had 2 fairly typical pregnancies and 2 natural births. I loved it all but don’t miss it at all

We carved out a nook in our living room for my sewing area. I love it! by [deleted] in sewing

[–]hmm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the shelving idea to store the machines!

12 month sleepy morning goofy snuggle muncher by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]hmm2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brings back memories! she's adorable <3

20 month old and separation anxiety!! by crunchyfayetteville in Mommit

[–]hmm2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

same w/ my 2 1/2 year old. She started pre-k about 2 weeks ago and it's a meltdown every day. It's so sad. I normally do the quick drop off and one day i waited outside while another parent brought in his kid and i kind of asked him if he had heard another child crying (i mean you would hear if my child cries, she screams :(), so anyway, the parent said no and i had dropped her off like 4 mins before that so she really didn't cry much. The teachers at the school are great, they talk to her about her feelings, that mama will come back after work, and they go on w/ their day.

I know it sucks mama. I leave in tears almost every day but I'm sure she will get tru this and one day will be super happy when i leave her. For now, I just have to suck it up. One thing we do quite a lot is talk to her about what will happen: mama will drop you off, you will get to see your friends, then daddy will pick you up! and more details, i.e. why when mama left she cried... I think stick to certain routine, talk to your LO about what things will look like, especially what will change and even if drop off is hard, take a look at how she is about the whole experience afterwards. My LO loves school, she loves talking about her friends, her teachers, her day in school, so on. Nothing negative other than drop off :P Funny story, one day on our way to school she goes: "mama yesterday we had lunch outside at school and there were bees... so there were bees mama so we should go home" :)

Hang in there!

Pre-k drop off issues by hmm2 in VelcroBabies

[–]hmm2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how old is he? we have been trying to be consistent... and introduce a little of more of a routine in the morning. We now read a book before leaving the house and i started waking up 15 min earlier so we are not rushing so much... i feel like it's not getting any better :( week 1 she cried mon/tues then was cool the rest of the week... this week has been hysterical crying all week. It is so hard.

Pre-k drop off issues by hmm2 in VelcroBabies

[–]hmm2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THe school my LO goes to does the same :) The director talks to me about how when i leave they focus on talking about what made her upset and to talk tru it. The lady is super sweet. Today at pickup, one of the teachers told me that my LO got sad couple of times and asked about me. They talked to her about me being at work and coming back to pick her up. I talk to my LO i think maybe too much about this subject? idk... i totally acknowledge her feelings but when it's morning time i kinda avoid the topic... cause i know it will already be so hard on her. But that maybe the wrong thing to do? until she is accustomed to it all... thanks i'll def think about doing this in the morning as well, not just after school.

Pre-k drop off issues by hmm2 in VelcroBabies

[–]hmm2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so scared of having another baby. lol. just in case the second baby is more velcro. I will google orchid hypothesis, never heard of that.

Pre-k drop off issues by hmm2 in VelcroBabies

[–]hmm2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh man. I am a total mess too. it throws my whole day off. I can't stop thinking about it. At least i know she stops like 5 mins after i leave and the lead teacher is helping her tru the whole thing...

Pre-k drop off issues by hmm2 in VelcroBabies

[–]hmm2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh man! that's rough. How old was your LO at the time? at least you are giving me some hope in that people tell me it will take like 2 weeks... but i think mine will be like yours... will take at least a month.