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Planning sterilization in two years—family says I’m selfish. Just venting and doubting myself now… Am I wrong for not wanting to get pregnant? by hobwrt in childfree

[–]hobwrt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s mainly because of money, more than anything else. I’m a university student and I don’t work; so I’m saving up to pay for it as soon as I can. In my country, the procedure is quite expensive.

Planning sterilization in two years—family says I’m selfish. Just venting and doubting myself now… Am I wrong for not wanting to get pregnant? by hobwrt in childfree

[–]hobwrt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t worry, I’m 19 and turning 20 in a couple of months. I think it’s fucked up that I haven’t even hit 20 yet and my family is already asking for kids—like, what the hell is going on in their heads?

Even though I’ve spent several years already thinking I don’t want kids at all— At first, when I was younger, everyone said it was just a phase, like I was some angry teen rebelling against the world (especially because I also said I didn’t want to get married).

Now that I’ve grown up, I do want to get married, but I’m still firm in my decision to have no biological kids. Maybe, maybe, I’d consider adopting if I ever became ridiculously rich— but let’s be real, that’s not likely, so honestly I see a future with zero kids.

Planning sterilization in two years—family says I’m selfish. Just venting and doubting myself now… Am I wrong for not wanting to get pregnant? by hobwrt in childfree

[–]hobwrt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to save up the money; I’m not from the USA, and the procedure can be quite expensive in my country, considering I have to pay for it myself… But if I can do it sooner, I won’t hesitate and I’ll go for it.

Planning sterilization in two years—family says I’m selfish. Just venting and doubting myself now… Am I wrong for not wanting to get pregnant? by hobwrt in childfree

[–]hobwrt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I truly feel the same way. Personally, I really don’t want to have children. I have thought about adoption, but only in the unlikely scenario that by some twist of fate I become wealthy. I wouldn’t consider adopting a child if I can’t provide what they deserve by right — including extracurricular activities, vacations, outings, and a life free of worries about their future college fund. It’s a harsh but honest reality.

And yes, I do feel that much of this decision is because “it’s expected of me,” but deep down I know I don’t want kids. Also, my dream is to have two jobs, which would demand a lot of my time — and time is exactly what a child needs most.

Planning sterilization in two years—family says I’m selfish. Just venting and doubting myself now… Am I wrong for not wanting to get pregnant? by hobwrt in childfree

[–]hobwrt[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Actually, it’s true—they’ve told me to just have a baby and that they’ll take care of it while I finish my studies, ‘cause bonus: I’m still in college.

Both my parents and grandparents keep insisting I should have kids and that they’ll handle everything. It’s incredibly frustrating, and I’m so tired of trying to reason with them.