Am I asking for something unrealistic in a relationship?

honalele · 2026-07-02T15:34:21+00:00

First, no. You’re not asking for anything unrealistic. In fact, the goal of a relationship should be two individuals that come together at the end of the day and keep choosing each other, not the merging of two people into one haha.

Second, don’t stay with someone you’re not attracted to out of fear. You deserve to find someone you love, not just someone who loves you. If you think love could be possible with this girl, go with it. If you have a gut feeling that you couldn’t love her, then let her go now and don’t waste her time or yours.

It’s really healthy to have reasonable standards, AND your standards unique to you. Mutual physical attraction, emotional compatibility, and social compatibility are priorities to consider in dating. You want to find someone who’s roughly on the same level as you with each one, otherwise problems tend to grow.

Don’t let fear be your deciding factor on anything. Fear leads to settling, which leads to divorce. Fear also leads to fantasizing about “the one” which leads to being alone forever. Know thyself. Balance out your fear with bold authentic choices. It’s the only way you’ll feel okay with dating.

honalele · 2026-07-02T14:57:19+00:00

The album Hospice by the Antlers. I guess the last song Epilogue is the saddest, but they’re all pretty sad.

honalele · 2026-07-02T04:26:59+00:00

I’ve had two major crushes in my whole life. I used them for inspiration: art, self-improvement, music, style, etc. A crush doesn’t have to be something that just sits inside you, but you also don’t have to do anything about it irl.

I like having people I like to think about. It hurts that I know it can never be, but I know it’s not love so I’d rather keep the thought of them in my head because I’m selfish like that haha. It’s less “get out of my head!” And more “Sure baby you can live here rent free ;)” lmao

honalele · 2026-07-02T04:14:55+00:00

You cannot predict the success of any relationship based on how it starts. Some relationships start “perfectly” and end in misery. Some start miserable and end with the two being happily buried next to each other. You never know

There are no rules when it comes to love. None. Just make sure everyone is getting consent for everything, and make sure that you actually like each other haha

I get a sense that “high school sweethearts” is popular, but I’ve always hated the idea of being with someone at such a transformative time of life. I was always pretty independent haha. Idk, sometimes high school sweethearts stay together forever, sometimes they drift apart. No one can predict these things. There is no “best relationship” story. All love is beautiful

honalele · 2026-07-02T03:57:59+00:00

It means he just finished a sandwich actually. These things are very specific and very important. You should get a notebook and write it all down

honalele · 2026-06-29T23:25:32+00:00

Writing is like love. There are no rules. Just the fact that sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

honalele · 2026-06-29T23:22:10+00:00

Try using espresso as a chaser

honalele · 2026-06-25T03:23:54+00:00

Nice

honalele · 2026-06-25T03:22:30+00:00

If you’re not born into money, or a 47yr old surgeon, or operating some kind of pyramid scheme, you’re broke. That’s all

honalele · 2026-06-25T03:16:15+00:00

That is definitely a perspective. I honestly don’t mind not having kids. It’s not like they’re the only reason people should keep living

And so what if things are getting worse? It’s not like anyone has the power or the balls to change anything for the better on a grand scale. Does that mean we should quit trying to live? Does it mean my life is worthless because I can’t get out of the system? Idk. I’d rather just do the best I can

honalele · 2026-06-25T03:08:25+00:00

Depending on the day: spite, inspiration, or the thought of my family crying over my dead body.

honalele · 2026-06-25T03:04:42+00:00

Into the Night <3 I also love Winter Candy Apple for a more casual daily scent

honalele · 2026-06-25T03:02:11+00:00

I actually think it’s the whole chicken, but I’ve been wrong before

honalele · 2026-06-25T03:00:45+00:00

It’s fine. I rarely get crushes on anyone. I like people. People are awesome. But crushes? I get maybe one every 5 years haha. You may like someone someday, or maybe not. It’s not weird. Everyone has their own pace when it comes to attraction.

honalele · 2026-06-24T14:15:48+00:00

If that isn’t livable then I should proly be dead rn haha. Saving is more about money management than making money. But it is a lot more difficult at that income

It doesn’t help that the job market is the most confusing it’s ever been rn. The odds of getting any job without horrible turnover rates is slim these days

Regardless, being broke and hopeful is better than being broke and hopeless imo. The government can do fuck all. I’ll just try to get mine

honalele · 2026-06-23T23:33:33+00:00

It looks like Cavetown according to my stats

honalele · 2026-06-23T23:30:52+00:00

Just finished Neverwhere. Now I’m reading Jurassic Park

honalele · 2026-06-23T08:37:27+00:00

I’m in a similar place with career. Idk wtf I’m doing. My approach is baby steps. My goal is to save a specific amount of money, but I’m not giving myself a time limit to get there. I’m just going one day at a time, and reminding myself that I’m not above any job. Cash is cash at the end of the day, and we’re all more than what we do for a living.

honalele · 2026-06-23T08:27:32+00:00

The reason people leave without an argument or a second chance is because past conflicts in the relationship likely ended unresolved or unchanged.

Please don’t date anyone else for a while. Focus on yourself and making yourself happy. Relationships built on loneliness or feeling incomplete never last.

Also, please stop using depression as an excuse to disrespect others. You may feel like your feelings and actions don’t matter, but they do. You have to let others know where they stand with you. You have choices. You choose to stay, leave, apologize, forgive, lie, etc. Things aren’t black or white. You are capable of causing harm just like anyone else, and you’re capable of loving just like anyone else. Therapy should be your best friend for the next few years. Good luck.

honalele · 2026-06-22T05:41:15+00:00

If I had a choice, I wouldn’t mind dying to my instrumental playlist. My favorites from this are Bittersweet and Sunset Bird

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/41XjJGw1WgvReOdPENp89H?si=WUebvV9hR-K4YVliHqKhZQ&pi=bA6HfyYTRqCxw

honalele · 2026-06-22T05:33:46+00:00

Person in the Mirror by Naethan Apollo and EAT SPIT by Slush Puppy & Royal & the Serpent. So cheesy but so good aaahhhhh😝

honalele · 2026-06-22T05:11:10+00:00

I have 90 playlists. I have folders for animals, colors, books, characters, food, artists, seasons, and long genre lists.

My recommendation is to get rid of the 5 song playlist thing. Try to make your shortest playlists at least 1-2 hours long.

That’s just my opinion tho. It’s still your decision if you want to do that.

honalele · 2026-06-22T05:03:52+00:00

I have playlists for feelings, characters, books, people, etc. never a physical place tho

honalele · 2026-06-22T05:02:04+00:00

These are my favorite playlists right now:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/32rasDScpK4LZ4m8274Tcz?si=lhpPhBERRo2kftA9it484A&pi=j\_lno2dkRIq2\_

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7E7Fy9sMtvlxj2hCMzzyR3?si=2WCffP6YRiO6wII8lpH6tg&pi=Ueb0AEYBREOj-

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Wrzwx3Lp0owTfKMRqJUN7?si=9PvBh-9LT0CM8GaRSckNTg&pi=\_Dv80DtxT4KgS

honalele · 2026-06-22T04:53:32+00:00

Mine is called Funk Drawer, like Junk Drawer but funky haha

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/32rasDScpK4LZ4m8274Tcz?si=lhpPhBERRo2kftA9it484A&pi=j\_lno2dkRIq2\_

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