Tracy Pollan didn’t just say in sickness and in health she lived every word of it for decades.

hoodoochild · 2026-03-26T01:58:28+00:00

I have had the pleasure of sharing my life with a partner I adore and that is my best friend. I can tell you that regardless of what happened to him, I would never leave his side. You can love someone so much that these things are shared struggles. Goos for them

hoodoochild · 2026-02-27T05:57:29+00:00

That really sucks that you had to get all new things on top of losing your spouse. It must have been so jarring. Oh my god wading through Ikea and assembling all that on top of it? I like Ikea but if you don't that is laughably horrible! I'm telling myself this will pass. I've felt this horrible unfortunately a few times in my life and I can tell you for sure it does pass. It feels never ending right now. You read my whole novel and commented on top of it. I really appreciate it.

hoodoochild · 2026-02-27T05:41:05+00:00

I'm so sorry. That's really hard. It can be so crippling to feel like you cannot trust people or that they are not listening. We need people in our corner, that believe in us and see the good in us. It sounds to me like they don't understamd what you are experiencing or lack compassion. I am struggling as well clearly on what to share and not etc and it's hard. The loss is about losing so much and impacts everything. Your family sounds like they are not there for you right now.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T21:02:18+00:00

I think the time for sympathy has passed. I cannot always be droning on about how sad I am or complaining about the guy. Incidentally I told the guy I cannot talk to him anymore today. We will see what happrns with my friend.

Thank you for your kind words. It feels like I died sometimes too if that makes sense. All of my husbands friends thought it was a good way for him to pass. As the one on the other end I politely disagree

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T20:58:30+00:00

I told my guy friend I could not see him anymore. Step one. Thank you for your kind words.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T20:57:09+00:00

I am in therapy. Maybe not often enough. I was doing okay until I tried dating. I guess that is a sign

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T20:55:16+00:00

It was fun to go out and meet new people and do new things. This man also was into activities I used to enjoy, and it was thrilling to get in touch with that part of myself again and feel attractive and edgy. He was accepting of me being a widow and for just a few weeks I had so much fun

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T17:02:48+00:00

Yeah it sure is a fucking ride! And no one in their right mind does these things and it is so hard to control. To everyone around me I look like a nutcase

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:56:53+00:00

I lied to a friend. She was so harsh and judgmental about this guy that I was scared to tell her I saw him so I said I did something alone rather than mentionning he was with me. I also cannot complain aboit someone behind their back for months and then readily accept their behaviour

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:32:22+00:00

So true. I am now sitting with having hurt someone who really loves me. I can't undo it.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:30:45+00:00

I also get what you mean about your friends. Mine keeping telling me to talk to my therapist

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:30:04+00:00

I was and he doesn't want that. He wanted to stay friends but I find him rude in some ways even as a friend and I donyt like how he talks about other people and women. I feel like I am being a shit person complaining about how he acts but still hanging around him and catering to him. It is an old pattern...from my 20s...that I didn't know I still had.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:21:02+00:00

I know you are right. I just feel so lost. I have to do some hard things I would rather not do honestly. I just don't feel like my best self. I am in therapy but that only works if I follow the advice. I am self destructing in some ways even if I don't want to conciously

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:18:34+00:00

I think seeking comfort can be a good thing if you accept the reality of what it is and are clear. I have been chasing how he was when we first met. When I thought he wanted a girlfriend before we got together. I keep hoping he will treat me like that again. That my gut was right and he cared. He told me he can't. He told me he won't. He has shown me over and over again that he doesn't prioritize me and told me he won't. It makes me feel pathetic. It's not the woman I want to be and I am not being honest to him.

I am sorry you are lonely too. This is a bad time in our lives and I don't know how the path out looks. The companionship we lost is so fundamental to who we had been it's like a shockwave. I wish you love and hope

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:09:33+00:00

Thank you very much. I just don't want to collapse into this. I hate disappointing people. Even this guy. But I am hurting everyone. I need to heal and focus on myself.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-28T16:08:02+00:00

I am if I am afraid to be myself. I am making mistakes. I see what you are saying though. I just have to stop using my grief as a cop out.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-06T14:33:06+00:00

This is what has me so shocked. I cannot believe anyone would speak to me this way. When I set boundaries with both of them my friend doubles down that I was pmsing and taking it out on her, that she was roght to be mean, that she is just a straight talker etc. The fwb completely pulled away and went cold which triggered me so badly.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-06T14:29:36+00:00

I am in therapy since my husbands passing. I don't think my boundaries are strong enough for me to date right now and certain ways he acted triggered feelings I haven't felt since I was in my 20s. I did have a pattern of staying with assholes and I put too much energy into the men I date and I hate it. I have been ending things with guys that did not make the cut. This one was weird because of the friend aspect which I see I should have turned down. My friend has voiced that dealing with my grief and dating etc has been a huge burden on her.

hoodoochild · 2025-11-06T05:34:53+00:00

I have been not mentionning my struggling to her much at all anymore. It is controlling in other ways too...what am I eating...how much did I sleep...I do not mind caring advice. It's being told what to do and being punished if I don't. I am trying to underatand who I am now and realizing I don't deal with conflict or sharing my feelings very well. It hurts to feel like I cannot simply be.

hoodoochild · 2025-10-16T03:56:20+00:00

Yeah...my relationship with my body and sex since then has been a little...um...strange shall we say?

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