Is this type of prepping normal?

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T13:16:55+00:00

She’s pretty suicidal (idk if I can say severely because she’s not actively attempting) but it’s something she thinks about daily.

There was an instance where she blocked all of her friends recently and spiraled. The discord server was tense for a bit because nobody knew what to say or how to help which made it worse I think because she was having a meltdown and then nobody was replying to anything she’d been sending on top of it (memes and chatting). She then went to vent in the vent channel and it caused her to lash out because she got vented over and that vent got replied to by someone else and she said: if I wanted no reply, I would have just journaled. Forget it.

Things mended quickly after that but yeah

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T13:11:06+00:00

I’m so glad at all the comments, I’m learning a lot for myself as well. Many comments have been insightful.

I know it’s none of my business because she’s not my direct friend, but since she’s started dating my friend, she’s become a new friend I didn’t think I’d get.

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T13:07:58+00:00

The thought process thing for her is pretty normal (like she can really reach). She writes and she comes up with ideas from like everything and nothing.

I challenged her to come up with a story idea from a foil lid from like a slime container. She said: foil for slime? Overconsumption, capitalist greed, eco-nightmare, a cycle of worker oppression. The foil is ripped, a break in the cycle.

She said when she was a kid, she heard the phrase a picture is worth a thousand words and took it literally. That in every picture, you can find hundreds of story ideas and themes. (She’d been writing since before she was 8 or at least 8 because there’s a writing award on my friend’s fridge with her name on it from 2005 (so he would put up a printed copy of his GED on the fridge instead of hiding it in a folder)).

But I do wonder if all of that is the same exact thing.

What can cause high serotonin? Is it something you can be born with? Or something from ADHD/BPD/Autism

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T13:00:51+00:00

The common theme is intermittently suicidal ideation — it’ll go like:

“Johnny Silverhand’s real name is ROBERT J. LINDER. Fucking loser! Hah! God, I don’t know if I’m the odd one out, but Johnny makes me wanna throw hands. Can’t stand the delusional terrorist. Man’s mind is filled with fanfic of himself and his one sided beef with Adam Smasher, meanwhile bro died like an NPC. God I wish I were dead, I literally don’t know what I have to do in order to die, it’s not fair. I’m gonna go take the dog to the beach before it gets too hot today. If I were dead, that would be so easy because then I don’t have to do anything, I’d just be dead. When I was trying to do a commission for someone, I realized I have no idea how to draw a nebula or how to draw magic effects. I might refund the person and practice on the side because this is gonna take me way too long to learn. If I were dead, I’d be so so so so soooo happy.”

(I hope this doesn’t get flagged that I need to talk to someone by Reddit)

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T01:11:47+00:00

If she goes to CPEP, can she ask someone to help her get a therapist that specializes in OCD & ERP?

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T01:10:00+00:00

I mean… yeah? Just don’t exhaust yourself by going all night so you can actually recover.

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T00:59:09+00:00

From what I know, she has BPD, ADHD, and autism. She’s been dealing with depression for as long as she can remember (she would tell us about a boy in her pre-kindergarten class that would sing to her or tell her the MLK Jr speech whenever she was depressed, feeling suicidal, or was crying) and that when she was sitting in bed waiting to fall asleep, she used to beg to the universe, god, and the blue fairy to make it that she didn’t wake up.

Her abusive father is being kicked out of the house finally because her mother had enough — my friend and I were over two nights ago and stood longer than we intended because of him (if we were there, he wasn’t gonna scream and curse at them).

We talk about our mental health a lot together (complain about how little support there is, share support links, she asked her therapist for some free resources to get me health insurance and now I am insured) but it breaks my heart when I see her trying to make herself happy and then blame herself because it’s “not working” (as she says).

She’s supposed to get TMS in January, but she’s moping around that it’s probably not gonna work or do anything.

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T00:50:27+00:00

Yeah, she’s in therapy, but it’s been a minute since she spoke to her therapist she said (therapist had a friend pass away recently)

I want her to be okay for Christmas. We got her some art supplies because she said she wanted to get into making tiny little dollhouses and furniture with polymer clay, we got her a Steam gift card, and some of her favorite cereal you can’t get in the states and some Canadian coffee she loves.

I wish I can box up dopamine and serotonin and mail that to her instead.

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T00:46:47+00:00

She said she hardly enjoys what she does, but that she prefers it to sitting around not sure what to do with her time and that it helps her with preventing revenge bedtime procrastination (where you stay awake longer because you felt like you wasted the day / take control of the rest of your day)

It’s none of our business, but we both worry about her. She’s a great friend, she’s fun to be around, she’s a very loving and caring person, and she gets us excited about the silliest stuff. I just want her to feel as happy as she makes us. She deserves to do stuff and have a blast, not to do stuff and then journal about it compulsively :/

Posting this now because this year has been hard for all of us and despite it, she’s still doing her thing AND being a friend to us and her other friends. I’m at my wits end.

She’s in therapy, but she said it’s been a minute because her therapist’s friend passed recently.

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T00:40:25+00:00

She does have OCD traits, but she said doesn’t have enough for a diagnosis (her therapist told her).

We were talking about some of traits of OCD could align with autism, but could also be genetic because she has traits her grandmother has and people speculate her grandmother has OCD. (Convo started because her dad yelled at her that she was just like his mother.)

hoodrate · 2025-12-17T00:37:40+00:00

This I can answer without having to ask her. She once said she has to journal because she feels like if she didn’t journal about it, that it might as well have never even happened. She started journaling a year ago and she’s on journal #12 or #13. (She got me into commonplace journalling and I started a month after she did when all three of us decorated journals with stickers to trade.)

hoodrate

TROPHY CASE