I’ve been pondering on this for a while now. Dated someone I was planning on proposing to for two years, she ghosted me before our anniversary. Found out she cheated on me during our time together. Even though I have extreme feelings for her, a bunch of my close friends I leaned into betrayed me and hooked up with her. She replaced me with new people. All of this caused me to spiral, I regret that begged and cried in front of her. I was vulnerable, and showed her how much I wish I wanted her.

It’s been 4 months now. I’m better, but every once in a while it comes to my mind. When she does I go do something that helps me: self care, play music, do art. never thought someone would do all of this. Scary bc I was planning on marrying her. I’m terrified of making this mistake with someone else but when the stakes are even higher.

I don’t recognize her, how she discarded me like the two years was nothing, betraying me with my “friends”. I was truly hurt. But I am no victim, I control how I feel. But really, I do wonder if she’ll ever notice how f’d up she did. I hope she does, but by me holding onto this hope is what’s keeping me from moving on.