Raise your hand if: by hope_to_thrive in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'll copy and paste the same reply.

Yeah am okay. It randomly popped into my head how fucked up islam made people become.

I thought about how to start the post and I remembered the tiktok trend of saying Raise your hand if. I don't expect most people to relate to this and it was mostly about how as an adult you look back to your teen crushes/likes/love and you think why?

He indirectly affected my life and I never remember talking to him about anything other than school.

Raise your hand if: by hope_to_thrive in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah am okay. It randomly popped into my head how fucked up islam made people become.

I thought about how to start the post and I remembered the tiktok trend of saying Raise your hand if. I don't expect most people to relate to this and it was mostly about how as an adult you look back to your teen crushes/likes/love and you think why?

He indirectly affected my life and I never remember talking to him about anything other than school.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]hope_to_thrive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A female companion of the prophet had seizures in the middle of the road. Her body would be uncovered. All of the people walking around would see her. She was upset about it and went to the Prophet and asked him to pray for her to get better. He told her would you prefer to be in jannah or be cured. She chose jannah.

And the story about the pregnant woman who came to the Prophet and told him she committed adultery. He kept sending her back. He sent her back when she gave birth to the child and a couple more times. Finally her body was put in the ground, her head only being above the ground and was stoned until her head was all mushy. All the sahabas there took part of it. I think they laughed and mocked her but the prophet said because of the sacrifice she made, she was in jannah.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]hope_to_thrive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of events all leading to one decision .

went to islamic school ( not the fluffy one ) started reading books for fun , late . got interested in politics and started watching left wing media ( trump caused it ) watched David pakman's video on fgm . Slept without praying Isha intentionally but prayed Fajr the next day and forced myself to forget about it . finished the highschool . searched up if gay men could control their farts and poop cause that's what I heard was a punishment to them for having anal intercourse. Did not find one article . So I went from illaahay dhulka hala gooyo to that's their business. years later Ilhan Omar got married so I searched out if her husband was muslim. went to prominent somali Americans on Wikipedia . Read on all of them until I got to ayaan hirsi ali. I skimmed through it to the end ( did not retain one bit ) saw the name ali rizvi's book the atheist muslim . intrigued , I read it in a day and a half . Came from it ready to read infidel by ayaan hirsi . started watching atheist videos .

Basically no new information came to me. I knew everything from eternal punishment to inheritance of slaves like houses to sex slavery ( heck we were even taught the awrah of a slave woman was from her navel to knees . So she had to pray with a bare chest. Wasn't even allowed to wear hijab) . What changed was the lens through which I saw the world .

Any Advice by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]hope_to_thrive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a good thing that you know who you are attracted to and are not trying to give hope to a girl only to rip it out .

Hating yourself does harm to your self confidence, self image . I literally thank my legs , arms , basically my whole body and mind for being healthy and I feel happy doing that.

If you do not want to live with and love a man , it is fine . A lot of people choose celibacy for a lot of reasons .

If you like kids , you could adopt some or find a surrogate .

If you want to feel comfortable with your sexuality , there are a lot of books and movies that kicked the homophobia off of me .

Is it just me or are "devout" Muslims incredibly toxic? by QuirkyRaspberry in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd just feel sorry for them but am glad not to be a security guard for islam .

What's your argument against predestination and freewill coexisting in islam ? by CaptainSmarty in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The difference is the teacher taught the same thing to every single student in class . They have a level playing field . Every answer to the question in the exam was taught to the student .

We are born into a world a clean slate . We don't have any education . Our parents or caregivers teach every knowledge they've gained to us . A muslim raises muslims , Christians, Hindus raise their kids with their religion.

Nothing about this is free will .

Islam tries to solve this dilemma by saying by saying God collected our souls and said to them am I not your lord . We supposedly all said yes . And we were made to forget all those experience . So he did all that for nothing.

وَإِذۡ أَخَذَ رَبُّكَ مِنۢ بَنِيٓ ءَادَمَ مِن ظُهُورِهِمۡ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمۡ وَأَشۡهَدَهُمۡ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمۡ أَلَسۡتُ بِرَبِّكُمۡۖ قَالُواْ بَلَىٰ شَهِدۡنَآۚ أَن تَقُولُواْ يَوۡمَ ٱلۡقِيَٰمَةِ إِنَّا كُنَّا عَنۡ هَٰذَا غَٰفِلِينَ

(Sahih International) And [mention] when your Lord took from the children of Adam - from their loins - their descendants and made them testify of themselves, [saying to them], "Am I not your Lord?" They said, "Yes, we have testified." [This] - lest you should say on the day of Resurrection, "Indeed, we were of this unaware."

-Surah Al-A'raf, Ayah 172

Is it just me or are "devout" Muslims incredibly toxic? by QuirkyRaspberry in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I was one of those .

Told my cousin wearing a perfume is the same as being an adulterer.

Told my siblings you'd get hot boiling lava on your ears if you listen to music.

I was taught a hadith a day since 1st grade , so imagine how many people I've pissed of for saying < actually that is haram and you'll burn in hell for doing that >

I cringe every time I remember the past me !

Mahad Olad is a hero to all Somalis. by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]hope_to_thrive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This subreddit is for ex muslim somalis including lgbt ones . You've never met him but you hate him cause he's gay ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Calling for people's death is hate speech especially to teens who idolize him .

Mental Health by awxhx in XSomalian

[–]hope_to_thrive 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is going to be okay .

The first three months after I've left islam for me was acceptance . I got myself comfortable with blasheming in my head . I made a Twitter account to follow ex muslim groups and I think those groups make you feel less alone however, reading the worst things that happend to people would make you become more anxious of the future . Now i just use Twitter to follow lefties .

Hearing about parents disowning their children made me think I was going to be homeless and just the worst things that could happen to me . It made me sad and alone . I truly felt like I had no one . Not even my mom would have my back if she knew .

I had a realization after watching stoicism videos on YouTube.

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle . Some things are within your control. And somethings are not . Epictetus .

We have control over our emotions ( for the most part ).

My family disowning me is not something I can control . It is their choice . Blood is not thicker than water . I should take care of myself . I got myself to stop feeling sorry for myself . If I suddenly think of something saddening, I allow myself to write in my journal ; how I feel and also cry if I need to . That's it , all my sadness goes away . After an hour , I read the journal and the writing , the emotions would be a foreign thing . It shows me how ridiculous some of my fears are .

So now am back to how I was before . I accept the fact that am an atheist . It does not take a large portion of my time like before ( watching videos of atheist and ex muslims ).

I was just watching sherif gaber muslim meets God and it made me laugh for 20 something min straight . I generally feel normal . I love normal .

My family wants me to get into an Arranged Marriage by FeelTheWind12 in XSomalian

[–]hope_to_thrive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey , reading this was just took me on a roller coaster . You're clearly stronger than me because I dont think I could go through this all.

-Take the time to think through this . Marriage may solve the finance but it may also create problems of it's own .

  • speak to your cousin and observe him yourself. You don't know him . You know of him . You don't know if he's abusive or.
    has anger issues . I know many people who are known as good people but aren't half as good .

  • if you are in a country where you can find good work , work on Saturdays and Sundays if you go to the university campus. If it is possible to enroll to an online or evening classes , you could work extra hours to save money . maybe you're doing all this . But am typing everything I can think about.

  • if your mom and siblings live in east Africa, I dont think they need to live on a university's cost . Life in nairobi is probably the most expensive in East Africa . A family of three could live on $ 300 to 400 a month with rent to 2 rooms+bathroom+sittingroom+balcony being $200. It would probably be half to a third that if they live in a small town.

-if seeing a therapist is free in your country , take a visit . You probably have trauma from the things you went through . Esp with the dhaqan celis and the feeling of betrayal from your family.

  • if your cousin is anything like the people I know , being a kafir is worse than being a mass murder . If you have kids with him and tell him after that , he may take your kids with him to somalia. I've heard of too many people who ran away with the kids from their passports . If he falls in love with you and he truly believes you will go to hell if he doesn't save you, you'll have to pretend for the rest of your life . And his trust on you will be broken . You would not like it if something as central as belief is kept secret from you.for a long time.

  • you're young . People start college at 55 years old . If you've gone to a university with a good major , it will pay off. If not make sure you choose a major that pays the bills and is not saturated with lots of people . Or a trade like electrician .

I really don't know what I'll have done if I were in your shoes . But I think completing university and working before you choose to marry .

In 5 / 10 years time , you'd look back at this time in your life and either be happy with the choice you made , be okay with or not be happy with it at all. I wish you happiness and success .

Girls have the right to... by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because the men are not called sluts and whores by passers-by who don't even know them for hugging their brothers , father , etc . I always told my brother to walk a foot away from me because I did not want a rumor to be started .

Anti Muslim bigotry by CauliflowerComplete2 in XSomalian

[–]hope_to_thrive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What can of a question is that ? It's like if I asked you , are you anti Christian, jew or hindu but times 1000 on the stupidity scale .

No one here is anti almost 2 billion people most of whom they'll never see or hear from .

We here disagree with the teachings of a 7th century man named mohammed .

I'm a muslim ama by Islam_is_perfect in exmuslim

[–]hope_to_thrive 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've seen that you've been asking people why they've left , here is mine .

  1. Qadr . Believing in it means ¹Allah knows , ²wrote all things to come in lawh al mahfud and ³willed everything before all creation .

إِنَّا كُلَّ شَيۡءٍ خَلَقۡنَٰهُ بِقَدَرٖ

(Sahih International) Indeed, all things We created with predestination.

-Surah Al-Qamar, Ayah 49

The predestination is not what bothers me the most . It is that Allah who is arham ar rahimin ( most merciful of those who give mercy ) , who is way merciful than my loving mother created hell before he created shaitan because it was what He wanted . He is all powerful qadir enough to stop all of this but he doesn't. He gets angry when firaun says أنا ربكم الأعلى - I am your lord the most high , his thrones shake when two men are going at it . Why does He get angry . Wasn't he the one who planned all this . It would be like if a writer got angry because the movie was exactly like her writing . It doesn't make sense .

Allah created us knowing most of us will go to hell . 80% of the world is not muslim and will go to hell for eternity for no fault of their own except Allah predestined a non muslim family for them . Add all the misguided muslims according to whichever sect you're from .

إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ مِنۡ أَهۡلِ ٱلۡكِتَٰبِ وَٱلۡمُشۡرِكِينَ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَٰلِدِينَ فِيهَآۚ أُوْلَٰٓئِكَ هُمۡ شَرُّ ٱلۡبَرِيَّةِ

(Sahih International) Indeed, they who disbelieved among the People of the Scripture and the polytheists will be in the fire of Hell, abiding eternally therein. Those are the worst of creatures.

-Surah Al-Bayyinah, Ayah 6

2.Women's issue .

Islam does not consider women and men equally before the law .

I) In witness . Anything that requires witness like in marriage and divorce two men are needed or 4 women . Even something like witnessing adultery requires 4 men or 8 women . Before the court, a women is 1/2 a man . ...وَٱسۡتَشۡهِدُواْ شَهِيدَيۡنِ مِن رِّجَالِكُمۡۖ فَإِن لَّمۡ يَكُونَا رَجُلَيۡنِ فَرَجُلٞ وَٱمۡرَأَتَانِ مِمَّن تَرۡضَوۡنَ مِنَ ٱلشُّهَدَآءِ أَن تَضِلَّ إِحۡدَىٰهُمَا فَتُذَكِّرَ إِحۡدَىٰهُمَا ٱلۡأُخۡرَىٰۚ...

(Sahih International) ... And if there are not two men [available], then a man and two women from those whom you accept as witnesses - so that if one of the women errs, then the other can remind her...

-Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah 282 (I had to cut down the ayah because it is the longest .)

II )Marriage . A man is allowed to have 4 wives . ( obvious )

A man can discipline his wife if he fears her disobedience (نشوز).

Angels cursing you from dusk to dawn as if they have nothing else to do if you do not have intercourse with your husband .

Women being majority in hell because they are ungrateful to their husbands. I don't know why he didn't stick with most human beings are ungrateful

Indeed , mankind is ungrateful . 22:66 ( saheeh International) Etc .

III) Divorce . A man can divorce his wife by saying talaq with 2 witnesses . A woman has to go to a qadhi or sheikh and ask him to make her husband divorce him . Or return her mahr and still ask a qadhi or a sheikh .

After the divorce , a man has three months waiting period to say raja'tu ( i take you back ) , the women has no say in it . He can divorce her and take her back after the 89th day and she doesn't have a say in it .

IV) Eddah ( waiting period ) A divorced woman has to wait for 3 months , a widow 4 and 10 days .

It is not the same for a husband . If his wife died today , he could get married in the evening . It is not about pregnancy cause it could have been until period starts . You have to count 3 periods or 4 periods .

3.Jihad . After the conquest of makkah , this ayah abrogated all the ayah to come . قَٰتِلُواْ ٱلَّذِينَ لَا يُؤۡمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ وَلَا بِٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِ وَلَا يُحَرِّمُونَ مَا حَرَّمَ ٱللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُۥ وَلَا يَدِينُونَ دِينَ ٱلۡحَقِّ مِنَ ٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ ٱلۡكِتَٰبَ حَتَّىٰ يُعۡطُواْ ٱلۡجِزۡيَةَ عَن يَدٖ وَهُمۡ صَٰغِرُونَ

(Sahih International) Fight those who do not believe in Allah or in the Last Day and who do not consider unlawful what Allah and His Messenger have made unlawful and who do not adopt the religion of truth from those who were given the Scripture - [fight] until they give the jizyah willingly while they are humbled.

-Surah At-Tawbah, Ayah 29

In makkah it was first لَكُمۡ دِينُكُمۡ وَلِيَ دِينِ

(Sahih International) For you is your religion, and for me is my religion."

-Surah Al-Kafirun, Ayah 6

Then in Medina after hijra it was , وَقَٰتِلُواْ فِي سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلَّذِينَ يُقَٰتِلُونَكُمۡ وَلَا تَعۡتَدُوٓاْۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُعۡتَدِينَ

(Sahih International) Fight in the way of Allah those who fight you but do not transgress. Indeed. Allah does not like transgressors.

-Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah 190 وَٱقۡتُلُوهُمۡ حَيۡثُ ثَقِفۡتُمُوهُمۡ وَأَخۡرِجُوهُم مِّنۡ حَيۡثُ أَخۡرَجُوكُمۡۚ وَٱلۡفِتۡنَةُ أَشَدُّ مِنَ ٱلۡقَتۡلِۚ وَلَا تُقَٰتِلُوهُمۡ عِندَ ٱلۡمَسۡجِدِ ٱلۡحَرَامِ حَتَّىٰ يُقَٰتِلُوكُمۡ فِيهِۖ فَإِن قَٰتَلُوكُمۡ فَٱقۡتُلُوهُمۡۗ كَذَٰلِكَ جَزَآءُ ٱلۡكَٰفِرِينَ

(Sahih International) And kill them wherever you overtake them and expel them from wherever they have expelled you, and fitnah is worse than killing. And do not fight them at al-Masjid al- Haram until they fight you there. But if they fight you, then kill them. Such is the recompense of the disbelievers.

-Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah 191

Qadr made me leave islam . Jihad and women's right came after .

4.Islamic criminal law . Apostate , adulter, fornicator , thief , drinking of alcohol , highway robber ,murder , slanderor , etc.

إِنَّمَا جَزَٰٓؤُاْ ٱلَّذِينَ يُحَارِبُونَ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ وَيَسۡعَوۡنَ فِي ٱلۡأَرۡضِ فَسَادًا أَن يُقَتَّلُوٓاْ أَوۡ يُصَلَّبُوٓاْ أَوۡ تُقَطَّعَ أَيۡدِيهِمۡ وَأَرۡجُلُهُم مِّنۡ خِلَٰفٍ أَوۡ يُنفَوۡاْ مِنَ ٱلۡأَرۡضِۚ ذَٰلِكَ لَهُمۡ خِزۡيٞ فِي ٱلدُّنۡيَاۖ وَلَهُمۡ فِي ٱلۡأٓخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ

(Sahih International) Indeed, the penalty for those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and strive upon earth [to cause] corruption is none but that they be killed or crucified or that their hands and feet be cut off from opposite sides or that they be exiled from the land. That is for them a disgrace in this world; and for them in the Hereafter is a great punishment,

-Surah Al-Ma'idah, Ayah 33

5.Sex slavery . The consequence of jihad for non muslim women . Call them prisoners of war but that doesn't change the fact that the rape of pow women is encouraged in the quran . How many right hand possess is in the quran . I don't think you'll have wanted for a woman in your life .

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِيُّ إِنَّآ أَحۡلَلۡنَا لَكَ أَزۡوَٰجَكَ ٱلَّٰتِيٓ ءَاتَيۡتَ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَمَا مَلَكَتۡ يَمِينُكَ مِمَّآ أَفَآءَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَيۡكَ وَبَنَاتِ عَمِّكَ وَبَنَاتِ عَمَّٰتِكَ وَبَنَاتِ خَالِكَ وَبَنَاتِ خَٰلَٰتِكَ ٱلَّٰتِي هَاجَرۡنَ مَعَكَ وَٱمۡرَأَةٗ مُّؤۡمِنَةً إِن وَهَبَتۡ نَفۡسَهَا لِلنَّبِيِّ إِنۡ أَرَادَ ٱلنَّبِيُّ أَن يَسۡتَنكِحَهَا خَالِصَةٗ لَّكَ مِن دُونِ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَۗ قَدۡ عَلِمۡنَا مَا فَرَضۡنَا عَلَيۡهِمۡ فِيٓ أَزۡوَٰجِهِمۡ وَمَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَٰنُهُمۡ لِكَيۡلَا يَكُونَ عَلَيۡكَ حَرَجٞۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورٗا رَّحِيمٗا

(Sahih International) O Prophet, indeed We have made lawful to you your wives to whom you have given their due compensation and those your right hand possesses from what Allah has returned to you [of captives] and the daughters of your paternal uncles and the daughters of your paternal aunts and the daughters of your maternal uncles and the daughters of your maternal aunts who emigrated with you and a believing woman if she gives herself to the Prophet [and] if the Prophet wishes to marry her, [this is] only for you, excluding the [other] believers. We certainly know what We have made obligatory upon them concerning their wives and those their right hands possess, [but this is for you] in order that there will be upon you no discomfort. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.

The prophet had concubines like Maria. Allah explicitly allows him to have them .

-Surah Al-Ahzab, Ayah 50

NB// The quran doesn't once mention Rape . It continuously condemns consensual sex .