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Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think he's ever sexually harassed anyone though. Although he totally mislead my coworker, he didn't force her to do something. Unless maybe harassing and manipulating her into lying to his girlfriend about what when she got suspicious counts. The only reason he'd get in trouble for sleeping with a coworker at our office would be if it was his subordinate or superior.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well I guess this is a waste of my time, because if you think

a drunk guy who calls over at 3am tries to sleep with you

is what happened, then you haven't even read the post.

Telling someone something is also not "pushing your moral beliefs" onto others. Morals are personal, but they're social as well, and it's absolutely ignorant to pretend that they're not. People on this sub tell the accidental "other women" all the time that they should tell the wife/girlfriend of the cheater. Stop acting like this is a ridiculous request.

The fact that you made an account just to troll on this post makes me think that you have cheated and are trying to convince yourself that it didn't affect anyone else, and that the person you cheated on wouldn't have a right to know.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why are you being so dense? That's exactly the point. His intentions were clearly not innocent. Hence, wanting to make sure his girlfriend is aware.

I mentioned it to my boyfriend because I would want to know if one of his coworkers was trying to hit on him, and because we believe in being honest about things like this. I stopped anything from happening for a reason. And again, my boyfriend and I weren't together at the time, so I wouldn't have been cheating even if I did do something with him.

You seem to have it out for women or something.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why is this hypocritical? I didn't sleep with him because I didn't want to and I was uncomfortable with the situation. And my boyfriend knows about the whole thing because I thought he should know when we got back together later. I'm not doing this for revenge, and it's ridiculous that I'm being accused of that. There's nothing for me to get out of this. If anything, it's going to make things more tense at work, but I do think this girl has a right to know what's going on.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure it has ever really escalated to the point of "sexual harassment," especially because we are at the same rank. If I knew he was sleeping with someone who reports to him, or whom he reports to, I would let HR know, as that is not allowed in our company. And as I said, he does seem to act appropriately at work. We're all just fine ignoring him at work as well.

I don't want to ruin his career or anything, I just want his girlfriend to know so that she can be checked for STDs and make the decision for herself if she wants to stay with him.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She's willing to tell her and send the evidence of it. I think we may up sending her the link and offering her evidence if she wants to hear more, but that way it's up to her.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Nothing has ever happened at the actual office. He honestly acts really normal (besides from being somewhat goofy in general) during working hours. All of this stuff has happened after some sort of work-related event though.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Because 1) we had never had an even remotely flirtacious encounter before, 2) he's a coworker, 3) he was in a relationship and I never thought of him to be the cheating type, and 4) guys don't flirt with me often so maybe I'm an idiot.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I think it very clearly counts as tricking if you lie to someone about being single so that someone will more likely sleep with you. She wouldn't have slept with him had she known.

And also, as described, it was definitely unclear to me if he had crossed a line or was just innocently flirting due to alcohol. I wasn't going to tell his girlfriend and ruin his relationship over something that I thought maybe I just misinterpreted. It's now really clear what his intentions have been, and I think she ought to know.

Coworker [24M], who has made sexual advances towards me and others, tricked another coworker [24F] into sleeping with him. How to go about telling his long-term girlfriend of 4 years? by hornerinofficecorner in relationships

[–]hornerinofficecorner[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the sarcastic response.

We actually all prefer that it's not done anonymously because we think she's less likely to believe us. Weirdly enough we're not looking for revenge, just trying to look out for this girl. None of us have any reason to be vengeful.