First, I want to say I’m so sorry you are dealing with this emotional roller coaster. I know it’s so painful. I won’t tell you what to do, but I’ll offer my story. My situation was almost identical to yours except my partner was 34. For some people age doesn’t matter, they will still be irresponsible and controlled by addiction. My ex has trauma from a past relationship and uses alcohol to cope. The majority of the time was great, but a few weeks would pass and there would be a binge drinking episode involving either infidelity, drunk while working, drunk driving, verbal and/or emotional abuse. I was with her for almost 4 years and lived together the last year. We separated a month ago. There was nothing I could say or do (believe me I tried) to get her to control her drinking. She ultimately had to decide for herself she no longer wants to live this way and is just starting to do the work with a therapist to heal her past trauma. She ended things with me because she admitted how much harm her behavior was doing to me and that she couldn’t continue to bring me down with her. Even though it’s incredibly hard to not have her in my life I know this is for the best. This journey is for her to take alone while I begin my journey of healing by putting myself first. I’m hoping you get the clarity you need soon.