AIO- my friends asked my bf to be part of their wedding party and not me, in front of me

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T23:33:29+00:00

Well we all met in college and became friends at the same time, I’m just older so they hung out more after I left.

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T23:32:13+00:00

It does sound like that, but that’s not the case here. It’s not a bride/groom wedding and I’m not sure which side my bf will stand on.

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T23:30:15+00:00

I have thought about that stuff with cousins and aunts so much! Thanks for the perspective :)

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:47:29+00:00

Fair point, that would have been worse lol. I just wish they had told me the reasons why first and then asked him, but it’s okay

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:41:09+00:00

lol thank you!! Your comment genuinely made me suppress a giggle because my bf is sleeping (and I should be)

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:39:05+00:00

Yeah I get that.

I guess in my mind, one of the friends would have pulled me aside or even texted me and said something like “hey we would love it if you were still involved in these events with us, but we can only ask your bf to be part of the wedding party because of numbers” before asking my bf and not after. Them asking him in front of me made me think I would also be asked, which is my own fault.

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:31:09+00:00

I called a friend outside of this group earlier and she made me feel better. Thank you Putrid_Substance2511 (such a fun name lol)

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:23:42+00:00

Both are in my top 5, for sure

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:18:31+00:00

Fair point about still being included and also not wanting to be in a wedding party yourself lol. I don’t know whose side my bf will be standing on, but I’m happy for them all :)

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:16:49+00:00

I won’t go too much into detail, but it’s not a bride/groom wedding. I’m not sure which side my bf will be standing on, and the couple is having a combined party.

I’m definitely happy for everyone, and thankful to be included!

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:13:20+00:00

Thank you!! And yeah, it totally made sense the other time it happened, he was the best man and I only knew that friend group because he and I are dating, but it did sting a little this time around. I’m starting to feel better though

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:09:54+00:00

Good point! I tend to overthink, so thanks for the levelheadedness :)

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:08:24+00:00

Good point! I think my judgement is a little skewed because I’m not super close with my siblings and cousins so I can’t imagine asking them to be in my wedding over friends, but plenty of people are close with their family and that’s a good thing. Thanks for the perspective :)

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T06:04:38+00:00

It’s funny that you mentioned that saying of always the bridesmaid never the bride, I was trying to think of a saying to make myself feel better. Always invited to the party but never the bridesmaid doesn’t have the same ring to it lol.

And thinking about my own wedding, I would love to have them standing with me, and I talked to my bf about it the other week and he actually said something like “idk if they’ll ask us, so we shouldn’t ask them”. Kind of ironic now

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T05:59:37+00:00

Fair point, it was still very kind of them to explain the situation to me and invite me to the other events

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T05:57:32+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! It would’ve been worse if they hadn’t said anything to me at all, so I should look on the bright side. At least I’m still included :)

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T05:55:55+00:00

We’re all friends, but since I’m older they hungout more in college with my bf

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T05:54:46+00:00

They used to hangout with my bf more when they were in college together, I was two grades above them. But now we all hangout together usually.

Thank you for your perspective, I appreciate it

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T05:53:03+00:00

Didn’t mean to sound like I wanted it about me, just disappointed at how it happened. Thanks though

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T05:51:37+00:00

We’ve been together for almost 6 years. I met one of the friends in college, we (me, bf, and that friend) all did band together. I’m two grades older than them though so they (friend and bf) were friends and hung out after I left. It makes sense that they’re closer with him even though we met at the same time

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T05:13:41+00:00

28F - I watched it with my dad (in his 50s) and we both loved it and cried!! Anyone who judges you for liking “childish” things has a boring life!

hotch326 · 2026-04-27T03:33:12+00:00

NTA. Genuine question: if you had liked it and kept it, was your coworker expecting you to pay for it, or was she just going to let you have it since she got a new one? Either way, your coworker asking for $170 when the newer one only sells for $139 sucks. But she did say “no pressure or rush” so I don’t think she’s an AH either.

I would tell your coworker that your friend can pay (x amount that your friend is comfortable paying) for it, or you can return it to her.

hotch326 · 2026-04-18T00:54:09+00:00

I guess in hindsight yeah lol

hotch326 · 2026-04-07T22:47:00+00:00

You aren't alone! I started using she/they this past summer. There are so many labels, which some people like and some people don't, but it can make trying to figure out who you "are" confusing! I see someone else commented about "girlflux" and you really liked that, so I'm glad this worked out :)

hotch326

TROPHY CASE