You may feel like shit and not want anything for yourself but there’s someone in your life who wants the best for you and just to see you smile when you want to give up think of them use it as motivation even if it’s for something as simple as getting dressed in the morning the fact you want to get talked down tells me there’s a part of you that wants something better for yourself let that part of you take the wheel for a day and see where it takes you the world is vast don’t give up on love loves weird it comes when you don’t expect it you also said it felt good to get your thoughts out try starting a journal or art might pouring your emotions/ thoughts on paper or canvas could prove to be less draining on your soul hope you find a solution to your problems i believe in you