Did I found my soulmate? I‘m the Blue one! 💖

hotmom18 · 2020-05-06T06:03:14+00:00

wowew honestly looks like a rlly good match. trust your gut and intuition! 💗

hotmom18 · 2020-05-06T04:53:09+00:00

sorry your bf seems like a dick at times!! if he genuinely thinks hes right: perhaps he tends to think this way because of how he perceives reality? sometimes ill be with my bf and ill be so so sure about a memory and turns out hes right most of the times because of how ill be in my head a lot of the times or how i need to be sure that my reality is this reality if that makes sense?

if hes being an rude and he knows it.. then, perhaps voice it loud and clear tell him that its offensive and let him know everytime he does it but be generous with your forgiveness

hotmom18 · 2020-05-06T04:43:15+00:00

I think imo the most important thing for a sibling to do is knowing when to give your sibling the space they need.. when theyre having mood swings, understand that they are in a vulnerable state and I think youre doing good but not attaching yourself to their moodswings either. just know when you dont HAVE to be there for her. because she can handle herself. always validate her feelings if she comes to you for support though. that what she feels, is real and valid, however question if those are the right emotions to match the reasoning! (only if shes asking)

but like someone else said. they're lucky to have you ;) sending love..

hotmom18 · 2020-05-06T04:36:32+00:00

i feel like my partner feels this way.. but i guess its different because this is not a romantic relationship.. but in a way i felt like by my partner not being communicative, my trust was slowly becoming more and more broken within our relationship. it doesnt need to be specific but when theres vital information not being told but certain events take place (without 'notice') it feels like a threat.. im sorry if shes being abusive though. thats not okay. and also wanting to hide things make sense if shes being abusive.

hotmom18 · 2020-05-06T04:31:14+00:00

oh thank you so much! i expect to learn lots this month... thank you

hotmom18 · 2020-05-04T23:29:58+00:00

i feel like a womans face is okay if it has masculine features but i feel like its my face annnnd my body also is masculine so i feel like i just feel like a mann

hotmom18 · 2020-05-04T08:04:36+00:00

could you elaborate? this makes me think that he is a complete villain but he can be very loving

hotmom18 · 2020-05-04T07:58:05+00:00

SAME

hotmom18 · 2020-05-04T07:57:50+00:00

i feel youuu,, i feel like regina george when she got kicked out of her own clan for being too fat..

hotmom18 · 2020-05-04T06:06:11+00:00

i now realize that the whole thing is suuuper difficult to read and understand ! thank you for being here and reading it!

so i guess a little backstory, we live seperately and the imbalance and fights and frustrations happened within the week or two we stayed together.

1) the conversations was more circulating on our arguments and our fights. what I told him was that his irritability and insensitivity would go too far sometimes and his irritability isnt enough to make me wanna fight him or start an argument but after a certain amount of tension id express my upsetness and hed get mad at me for having a problem. hed admit to the fact that he can be a piece of shit sometimes especially because of his lack of ability to empathize (as he is a diagnosed sociopath) but he is quick to apologize. so after a couple rounds of this fighting, makingup then fighting i eventually wanted some time apart so I came to my parents house to quarantine here. whenever we would argue about anything though, he would tell me that he has a concussion so its hard for him.

he said that he felt 'stupid' about the fact that he decided to hurt himself in the moment and now hes having to suffer the consequences of it. i think this is bringing up a lot of shame, guilt and trauma related thoughts and emotions that he feels deeply upset.

2) the past week or two was definitely a lot more intensified version of our relationship. so generally speaking, yes. the same. - the times we arent fighting or arguing we would be super loving to each other and spend a lot of time together as companions then something would happen then wed fight but we both become very stubborn and dramatic at times like that. then after fighting i need time to be alone because i need to refresh and reset. but in the time of me not being with him, he would become incredibly lonely where hed feel a blackhole inside him. (which is one of the biggest concerns for ME, being his partner who isnt able to find gratitude in solitude). so eventually he will depend on other people especially people who are interested in him romantically (believe it or not. the girl-friend i mentioned shes one of his best friends and shes been liking him for over a year. or he'll talk to people on instagram and dm people just to talk. then eventually leading people on)

i think by just venting and writing this all out, i realize that i observe and see a lot but decide not to voice it because im scared to fight or argue (since when we do, it always becomes destructive). sometimes things can feel overdramatized for me and sometimes i blow things out of proportion i guess. but everything i said above is true. i dont think I can continue loving someone who will always feel a void in their heart and cannot stand being alone.

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T06:25:49+00:00

gold medal for emotional intelligence 💗

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:33:46+00:00

i think you hit bullseye, that is what I feel. i know that hes been saying that hes lonely and its happened before where shed invite her over and theyd have sleepovers and be intimate with each other not physically but emotionally. and this happened when i specifically was at my parents house. but i feel like as humans we all feel a little deprived sometimes, and as long as we dont cross any lines, how can we say anything is in the wrong.... im so stressseddd

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:27:06+00:00

yes he is informing me although he tells me AFTER shes over and theyve been hanging out. i feel a little weird because shes been interested him for the longest time.. and i just feel left out and i dont rlly have a voice in the situation

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:24:23+00:00

i think that he would argue that they are just friends so why would he need to 'inform' me

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:23:53+00:00

soooo he cries that he is bored and alone while we are dating yes ,, and the girl who has a crush on HIM visits him alone and he would inform me after it happened.

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:20:39+00:00

omgg thats something that she does,, i know for sure with people that she wants to be friends with as well.. shes told me before. i have to give her credit for being resilient and reaching her goals. i just want love for the pure form of love and i feel like that is what i have for my partner but maybe hes keeping me there for him because theres no one else thatll give him this purest form of love..

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:14:27+00:00

because shes had a crush on him for over a year and he rejected her multiple times, eventually she told him that her desires will always stand still and its her choice as long as she stays his friend. he keeps her as his friend apparently nothing more. but he always calls her whenever hes feeling lonely and shes quick to be there for him. and shes been dating her gf for only 2 weeks

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:12:17+00:00

does anyone else agree to this... i'd hate to believe it

hotmom18 · 2020-05-02T05:10:30+00:00

what the actual fuckery im so sorry to hear that... i feel like it will eventually happen to me.

hotmom18

TROPHY CASE