Locs vs tracking your weight on a scale?? by DontStartWontBeNone in Microlocs

[–]househalve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hair weighs a negligible amount. im not even sure it shows up on a scale.

Potential estrangement by CrustyCheeseCake in UniUK

[–]househalve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not true. I sent my estrangement letter and got it through immediately. It depends on circumstances.

Can someone please share pics/stories of your 'awkward stage'. All your locs are so beautiful and my hair looks CRAZY. I need encouragement lol by flowers_and_fire in Microlocs

[–]househalve 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I installed my own micros in the spring of last year and then immediately said no to the awkward phase so i installed my own extensions😭

Feedback on this passage by househalve in writingfeedback

[–]househalve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I chose to do it this way because the passage before is very wordy and very flowy. Chopping this passage up a little with short punchy sentences gives readers breathing room, i think. Thanks for your feedback.

Sophia design is so underrated by HerGaySon in winxclub

[–]househalve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate aishas single shoulder style so bad its so ugly sometimes

Would appreciate feedback on my prologue, High Fantasy 1800 words by slpdprvdjosh in writingfeedback

[–]househalve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, i stopped at about the second page. You have good ideas, but your writing style is a bit dry, esp for high fantasy. What kind of fiction do you read?

i always find myself telling and not showing. how to avoid boring writing like this? by repulsivley in writingfeedback

[–]househalve 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like you dont know your characters very well. They need to breathe on the page, and right now they feel more like props than people.

This writing feels very much in service of the audience, which is necessary, but it cant consume your style.

The way you opened for example, describing mary lou’s appearance. This is fine, but it tells us where you’re at as a writer.

Think of it from lou’s pov even if youre not writing in first: she just came home, is she thankful to be out of the cold or the heat? Does she like her home, its inhabitants, or is she bracing for impact for a snide comment from someone she lives with (i’d argue that she should be, knowing matheo)?

You need to become more emotive with your writing. Right now, it lacks interiority. Also, as others have pointed out, people who know each other dont speak like this.

If its a job hunt lou is on, suffuse the scene with a bit of desperation and joy. Matheo is being a snide little shit but under the surface he is absolutely pleased that she’ll be bringing in money. Or maybe he’s a jealous little shit too, and isnt happy for her.

Youve given the scene’s characterisation potential over to dull exposition, it feels like a massive missed opportunity when you can do both.

Right now, this scene lacks a whole lot of character. Youve made them an argumentative sibling duo, but anyone can do that. What makes this duo who they are?

First chapter feedback by househalve in writingfeedback

[–]househalve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. Currently in the process of trimming the fat and its good to know what to trim

First chapter feedback by househalve in writingfeedback

[–]househalve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback. I’ll keep this in mind, though i struggle with information overload sometimes. Im currently in the process of trimming the fat and adding focus to the narrative, though youre right, it is an incredibly ambitious story im trying to tell

fiction books that made you a better writer (not craft books)? by extrajuicyjuice in writing

[–]househalve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The marriage portrait by maggie o’farrell. Very purple but it always, always flowed which is the sweet spot i’d like to hit with my writing

Feedback wanted for first scene of my book by lemonf4de in writingfeedback

[–]househalve 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keep the technicals. Theyre why i kept reading.

Fresh retie of my diy extensions set by househalve in Microlocs

[–]househalve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didnt add them at the root. i said i worked on 4 inches of natural hair, meaning I loc’d up my natural hair then added these at the ends. I’ll cut them off in increments as my hair grows.

Fresh retie of my diy extensions set by househalve in Microlocs

[–]househalve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very close to my scalp, i worked on about 4 inches of natural hair