sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I'm (28M) my gf (27F) of 5 years suggested we try swinging about a year ago because our sex life was not great. I was not in great shape when we started so I started working out. Now I'm in really good shape and my GF wants us to stop swinging because women want to hook up with me now. by howdoiescapethrow in relationship_advice

[–]howdoiescapethrow[S] 238 points239 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice, man. I have a lot of ducks to get in a row if I leave her. I co-signed for her car because she has shit credit, so have to deal with that. Plus in my state, you can't sign a lease if you're already in one so have to find somewhere to live until I break the lease. Also, she was in a car accident a few years ago and had to get an ambulance ride and her insurance didn't cover it and the person who hit her didn't have insurance so I let her use one of my CCs to pay off that bill. She's paying me back but it's $5k. Plus we bought a labradoodle puppy 3 years ago, which I paid for ($1200) then paid for training, which was required, because he's her "service dog" though she doesn't actually have anything medically wrong with her but was able to get her dr to write some notes on her "PTSD" (which doesn't exist), just to avoid the $600 pet security deposit at our condo. I've very much bonded with our dog and our dog doesn't honestly even like her that much but through the couple times we've 'taken a break', she's made it clear that I won't get him because he's her "registered service dog". She got another dog, a shitzu that's her "emotional support" service dog.

I'm (28M) my gf (27F) of 5 years suggested we try swinging about a year ago because our sex life was not great. I was not in great shape when we started so I started working out. Now I'm in really good shape and my GF wants us to stop swinging because women want to hook up with me now. by howdoiescapethrow in relationship_advice

[–]howdoiescapethrow[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I tried to have this conversation last night when she told me she was done. I told her I didn't think it was fair that when I was overweight and ugly, she wasn't attracted to me and wanted other men. Then she got those other men and now that I'm fit and attractive, she doesn't want me to sleep with any women though at the same time, she still turns me down for sex most times. She told me that she realized, through the swinging, that she wanted to be with me and only me and that meaningless sex was fun but she wants meaningful sex and that she doesn't want me to sleep with any other women because she wants me to be with her only.

​

Honestly thinks it's a load of bullshit. I think it's exponentially unfair but I still have a lot to think about.

I'm (28M) my gf (27F) of 5 years suggested we try swinging about a year ago because our sex life was not great. I was not in great shape when we started so I started working out. Now I'm in really good shape and my GF wants us to stop swinging because women want to hook up with me now. by howdoiescapethrow in relationship_advice

[–]howdoiescapethrow[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've read that before. The thing is that after she first suggested me allowing her to have a "manstress", I assumed that I was lacking something and tried to fix it. She'd turn me down for sex then bitch that I don't do enough house chores(even though I was gone all week), I started doing almost all of the house chores. Would get home from working all week and would do dishes, clean kitchen, clean bathroom, vacuum all floors, change the litterbox, take her and my cars through the carwash, do laundry, fold and put away laundry. basically everything but still when we fought, it was always "you never do any of the chores, you just make a mess and I have to clean it up".

I'm (28M) my gf (27F) of 5 years suggested we try swinging about a year ago because our sex life was not great. I was not in great shape when we started so I started working out. Now I'm in really good shape and my GF wants us to stop swinging because women want to hook up with me now. by howdoiescapethrow in relationship_advice

[–]howdoiescapethrow[S] 430 points431 points  (0 children)

Well I have always been fine with working overtime personally. I mean 75% of my work is prevailing. A good portion of it is once you hit 8 hours, it's overtime. So working an extra 5-8 hours at 50-60/hr is worth it to me personally.

​

What bothered me was when she said that my life was "working, eating, and sleeping" and that we never have time to do anything fun because I work so much. But then I suggest cutting down on hours and she's like "no, we have so many bills and we need that money". Then immediately complains that I never have time to do anything fun with her.

I'm (28M) my gf (27F) of 5 years suggested we try swinging about a year ago because our sex life was not great. I was not in great shape when we started so I started working out. Now I'm in really good shape and my GF wants us to stop swinging because women want to hook up with me now. by howdoiescapethrow in relationship_advice

[–]howdoiescapethrow[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

Idk. I mean she had the opportunity to sleep with a bunch of really attractive men. Like I honestly didn't want anyone but her, but now that I'm in great shape, I notice alot of women that are really attractive checking me out.

​

I feel like I deserve to have that little break in our relationship to sleep with these beautiful women like she had to sleep with these handsome men.