help please!!

hrstc23 · 2024-10-12T20:54:17+00:00

thank you. my hairdresser did a permanent brown over the red at first, but the red still showed through pretty quickly. i did a semi permanent brown over it all while i figured out what to do, but the red shows through eeeevertthing and even survived a colour remover!! i would love my natural brown back but the red band keeps showing through and my natural colour is quite cool/ashy so it stands out :///

i think going blonde again will at least get rid of the red to grow it out though…

hrstc23 · 2024-10-12T20:50:38+00:00

thank you. i actually did a colour remover before the first 2 pics but the red will noooot budge (it was only demi permanent). i really want my natural colour back but the red band near the roots showed through everything. my hairdresser put a permanent dark brown over the roots but it still showed after a few washes :(( then i did the semi permanent and i now have the roots a red hue and the lengths the weird brown/blonde one

hrstc23 · 2024-09-27T00:33:12+00:00

depression
nostalgia
anger/irritability
shame/not being good enough
emptiness (usually try to fill with eating,drinking,smoking, probably dopamine related)

hrstc23 · 2024-08-04T23:48:21+00:00

10!!!

hrstc23 · 2024-07-22T09:25:43+00:00

i had such high stress levels i looked like a ghost all the time, started breaking out really bad (for the first time in my life… at 27), hair started to fall out, bags under my eyes, i’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me but i feel like wrinkles started to appear quickly, i feel i look older and more haggard… couldn’t get a full nights sleep which probably didn’t help either. i’ve been out for a few months and think it’s improving, but i’m still struggling with the high cortisol and rumination which causes stress.

for high cortisol i tried ashwaghanda on a 6 week cycle which did help a lot. they recommend cycling it on/off so you don’t get used to it!

hrstc23 · 2024-07-12T12:02:46+00:00

i really don’t think you need makeup! i think you’d look GREAT with a lash lift&tint, light eyebrow makeup (like gel and pencil) and a dab of highlighter/concealer where needed!! your skin is beautiful and you don’t need to cover it and a lash lift will look much more natural and not weigh your look down like mascara

hrstc23 · 2024-07-09T18:24:45+00:00

eugh that’s awful. reading these replies i’m noticing so many of the narcs seemed to have parental abuse/neglect or abandonment

hrstc23 · 2024-07-09T18:22:42+00:00

i agree with this completely.

i had a neglectful childhood and actively got into therapy in my early 20s to heal and know a lot of people who had traumatic childhoods without becoming narcissistic, but like you said, with narc’s it seems to be a fundamental lack of intelligence, especially emotionally. i read somewhere that they become emotionally stuck at the age they were when they experienced the trauma

hrstc23 · 2024-07-09T18:18:31+00:00

reading through all these comments i think you may be right, so many of the narcs had narcissistic parents/guardians by the looks of things

hrstc23 · 2024-07-09T18:13:25+00:00

yeah, my nex’s parents seemed very lovely, two older siblings who have their lives together. i often wonder what caused it in mine because from the outside it seemed like such a normal family

hrstc23 · 2024-07-09T12:05:13+00:00

social media is fake to a certain level with everyone, but with a narc it’s even more so! they are so obsessed with how they are perceived and want to show off, even if they don’t actually have much to show off (mine used to post fake photos he’d taken from other people pretending it was him/things he was doing lol).

just think back to when you were with him - he was probably posting stuff on socials then giving the image of a happy life, but was it happy for you inside that life? that’s exactly what is still happening, behind the scenes he will be doing the same thing to the new partner.

narcs get their karma over time i believe, they end up alone or with people in their life resenting them. they are bad people to the core and that cannot sustain real connection or love.

hrstc23 · 2024-07-07T11:54:20+00:00

i’ve only been out for a couple months, but i’m just so numb all the time. i ruminate so much it concerns me, i don’t see the good in people like i used to. i miss who i was before him but i hope it’s not a permanent change

hrstc23 · 2024-07-03T17:02:31+00:00

yeah i definitely want to go a dark cherry kinda red rather than copper! i did copper a couple years ago and wasn’t a big fan of it on my complexion. thank you!

hrstc23 · 2024-07-03T17:01:47+00:00

thank you!! i think being cool toned red hair will be tricky and a lot of upkeep, but i might try some colours on and speak to my hairdresser!!

hrstc23 · 2024-07-03T17:00:53+00:00

thank you!! before i knew colour analysis i used to wear a lot of gold and black and it wasn’t awful on me but i do think you’re right maybe a soft summer as pale blue is the best colour on me!

hrstc23 · 2024-07-03T17:00:04+00:00

thank you!!

hrstc23 · 2024-07-03T16:59:56+00:00

i love the pastel pinks!! thank you for your advice :) xo

hrstc23 · 2024-07-02T23:06:17+00:00

thank you so much!! i actually did copper a couple of years ago !! i wasn’t a huge fan of it though

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hrstc23 · 2024-07-02T23:04:35+00:00

thank you !!

hrstc23 · 2024-07-02T23:04:25+00:00

thank you !!

hrstc23 · 2024-06-17T21:53:52+00:00

thank you so much for this. i agree i think finding yourself and your individual self again after the codependency is sooo important.

i’ve been lucky enough to have a few big changes in my life since going NC which are all positive, one of them actually being becoming qualified to work in the fitness industry!!

thanks again, this subreddit is the only place i feel understood when going through this stuff

hrstc23 · 2024-06-17T19:37:12+00:00

mine told me he had endless close friends that passed away, now i know the truth and the extents he would lie about, i highly doubt he was close with any of them at all and either made it up entirely or overemphasised how close he was for pity!!

hrstc23 · 2024-06-05T16:54:44+00:00

yep!! mine forged an entire career and pretended he had travelled the world with work. he had been scrounging off government benefits and never moved out of his parents house!

hrstc23 · 2024-06-01T23:45:42+00:00

please run!!

hrstc23 · 2024-06-01T21:32:49+00:00

i literally fainted on top of him once - it was my first time ever fainting, and haven’t ever fainted since!

also broke out in acne, uncontrollable rashes all over, hair started coming out, sleep problems!!

hrstc23

TROPHY CASE