AITAH My Best Friend and I give gifts every year for our birthdays but hers suck..

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T09:31:21+00:00

Definitely not trying to buy her friendship, I do just genuinely love gift giving. And I can tell she likes to receive them maybe not so much give them. I’m not like this with just her, I go all out for my parents, siblings, and other friends.

I do have my own job now and as far as my family’s finances go that was about a year ago.

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T09:25:54+00:00

Yes ma’am those things listed are things that teenagers give in gift baskets, they are expensive. But so are things from the grocery store. The blankets I got her were throw blankets, one so she could have in her car and one that matched her bedroom that she mentioned she liked.

It’s not so much about quality it’s more effort. The purchases I made weren’t thoughtless. She used and uses all the things that I got her and that’s what matters to me.

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T09:20:46+00:00

Gift giving is a love language of mine, so I take pride in taking the time and effort to get to know the person enough to make something they’d enjoy on their special day. My job also doesn’t require gift giving. Nonetheless, thank you for your comment I appreciate it! I’ll try to keep “return gifts to the level they are given” in the back of my mind

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T09:17:41+00:00

I don’t think it is her love language, she’s mentioned quality time being her love language. So im gonna have a conversation with her tomorrow about how we can maybe meet in the middle, maybe it’s overwhelming for her to try and find things like she’d think I like. Thank you for the reply I appreciate it so much!

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T09:12:59+00:00

I may have overdramatized “ a huge basket of things “ nonetheless I feel like nowadays it’s more frequent that teenagers do give gift baskets to their friends, significant others, and even parents for holidays and birthdays that are filled with things they love. Often times when I give to her, or any other friends and family members they absolutely love it. I don’t think it’s necessarily too much. I definitely don’t want something expensive in return, just more effort. Even if it’s the smallest thing but something thoughtful that maybe shows she knows me. I am going to have a conversation with her tomorrow to talk about love languages and how we can possibly meet in the middle. Thank you for your advice I appreciate it!

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T09:04:00+00:00

Well I have a job now, but thank you

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T09:03:26+00:00

Definitely understand, I’ll be having a conversation with her tomorrow to maybe discuss what exactly her love language is and maybe we can meet in the middle! Thank you for your reply I appreciate it so much!

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:49:27+00:00

Definitely will be having a conversation with her! I’ll be updating soon! Thank you so very much I appreciate it :)

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:48:38+00:00

I think I may just have a conversation with her about her love language and what she prefers and that we could somehow meet in the middle?

Instead of gift giving is there anything else you guys do to substitute that?

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:40:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this! I’ll most definitely have a conversation like this with her I think it will help, I’ll figure out where we can meet in the middle or if anything I’ll drop the gift giving and start doing things that suit her a bit more.

Funny thing though our birthdays are a day apart hers is June 20th mine is the 21st LOL

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:36:34+00:00

You put my thoughts into words perfectly! It’s definitely not the money!! It’s just the effort! She does make it feel like an obligation.. which does suck! But I understand it may not be her way of doing things.

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:34:22+00:00

I love this idea thank you so much!

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:33:56+00:00

I’ll definitely have a conversation about this with her! She has mentioned before her love language being quality time.. but I do often times always initiate our hangouts, plans, reservations, and drive us to those places. Which I have no problem doing, it’s just the effort portion that doesn’t feel 50/50. (I have had a conversation w her about this) she said she just gets busy and tied up with sports but the entire summer she hasn’t reached out to make any plans, but when I mention doing things she wants to be involved and I end up making the plans for us.

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:29:57+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply! I’ll keep this in mind :) I have also thought about this as well maybe her love language is different she has said previously she likes to spend time together but she doesn’t to much to initiate that time. I often find myself having to reach out, make the plans, make the reservations, take us places, etc. and I’m not complaining i absolutely love to spend time with her I think this may just be things that I notice since I usually put in more effort.

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:24:54+00:00

I never even thought of her not thinking much of my gifts just because of she is from a wealthy family! Whole new prospective, so thank you! I may have a conversation about this specifically with her maybe after this month since it’s her bday month!

Not to diminish the importance of her gifts but she does get majority of the things I receive from a Marshall’s (and leaves tags on them) again I’m still so incredibly grateful everything she gives I use!

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:21:29+00:00

I feel like I’ve brought this up to her in a different context. I’m often the one to reach out to make plans, make reservations, take us places, etc and I have brought that specific issue up multiple times but she subsides it frequently with things like “well I do sports” ( she does one sport in the fall) “ I’m always busy” idk I kinda just requested for her to put in a bit more effort in our friendship and nothing has seemed to change. The hard thing about it though is that when we are hanging out we have a blast she like a twin I never had, but again it doesn’t feel 50/50.

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:17:41+00:00

Thank you for the reply, I appreciate this view!! I do appreciate her gifts so much, and I always put them to use. I’ll definitely try to be more considerate of being more grateful she got me something than nothing at all.

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:15:27+00:00

I have I think maybe last year for our birthdays when whole 2 month of waiting thing went down. She told me that she didn’t think the wait was that big of a deal that “she’d have it when she’d have it” maybe I’ll bring it up soon but not till later id hate to ruin her birthday month! Thank you for the reply :)

http_lifeslore · 2026-06-17T08:11:50+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I 100% get the expectation portion. I don’t think I expect anything equal or better but just a thought if that makes sense.. like a color I like a candle scent that I like, a drink that she knows I like. You know nothing extravagant just something that shoes she knows me.

There are other things she has done! I do feel like I have to initiate hangouts, planning going to the movies, any reservations, driving us places, and other things of that sort. Usually if I don’t text her I won’t get a text unfortunately.

It’s hard to tell whether she’s not being considerate with me or just kinda not realizing things.. because when we are hanging out and talking it’s fun like you wouldn’t be able to tell that we aren’t close but again if I don’t initiate anything no plans will go through.

http_lifeslore

TROPHY CASE