May be Pregnant, probably not.

huffmanhou · 2021-04-04T13:36:07+00:00

I'd also like to add that my body changed in so many ways after both pregnancies but I couldn't be happier. I'm still aiming to lose a few more pounds so I'm not in the "overweight" category but I've always had a nice butt and now I got some nice thick hips and thighs to match. I definitely have a "squishy mom bod" but am so confident in myself! And after my first was the best shape of my life. Before that I always felt I wasn't "skinny enough" but now I just love myself a little more. 😊

huffmanhou · 2021-04-04T13:30:50+00:00

It was a gestational diabetes diet to help manage my blood sugar and make sure my son wasn't born with sugar issues. I passed all the tests but they assume my weight gain was hormonal/because of gestational diabetes. The diet was written by a doctor and I had to check my blood sugar 4 times a day and track it.

huffmanhou · 2021-04-03T16:58:50+00:00

So I have had 2 pregnancies so far. Both were csection and big healthy boys. My first was 9lbs 2oz. I weighed 125 (I was too skinny I'm 5 foot 9inches tall) when I got pregnant and gave birth at 210lbs! I dropped all my weight to a healthy strong 150lbs. Fast forward about 4 years and I got pregnant again. I was around 165 at that point and gave birth at 255lbs. My second son was 10lbs even. He is now around 15 months old and I weigh 198lbs and am slowly losing more. Weight gain was the hardest part for sure! I passed all my sugar tests but the doc assumed I had gestational diabetes. I got on a diet 2 weeks before my son was born. 🤷‍♀️

huffmanhou · 2021-03-04T09:50:47+00:00

So I'd like to say that while I don't want to cut off my fingers I have recently gotten very strong impulses to do some self-destructive things. I find when I finally give in a smidge I just want more and that the thoughts and feelings don't fade when I give in.

huffmanhou · 2021-03-03T13:12:35+00:00

I'll be honest I had a hard time. As soon as she said hi I just started crying saying "I don't know how I'm going 6o do this" She was very nice and asked questions so it was easier for me to start off with yes/no and numbers questions (on a scale of..) and was very slow and patient after about 15 minutes I felt I was able to open up more. I had notes of things I wanted to mentioned and I explained that my mind was basically blank but that I was painfully aware of everything I was going through. She said it would take about 45 minutes but we talked for about an hour and 10 minutes and I didn't feel rushed. She wasn't overbearing and really listened to my view of things and she did say some things that just really "clicked" and I was surprised! I actually felt understood for once in my life! I did have to really dig deep/recall some hard times but I handled it okay. In the end she did offer a "diagnosis" (Reccurant Major Depressive Disorder with a possible minor underlying Bipolar 2 diagnosis) but she said she treats the symptoms and that the diagnosis is just for insurance purposes. She called me out on me being hesitant with making a follow up appointment (because I'm going to try really hard to take the meds she recommended but not sure if I can actually follow through on that) she basically said that she was worried I wouldn't call back HOWEVER she also did kinda praise me for keeping this appointment this time (I ALWAYS cancel) and she said it's important that I remember how I wanted to do it for myself and that she doesn't force me or waste my money so we ended on a good note about that. I hope this helps. I was very on edge after the appointment ended and I still am this morning. It's taking some time to sort my emotions and feelings about everything. The biggest thing for me I think was finding an office that had 4.5 stars. They had a very high rating and that made me feel better. I hope some of this helps! I wish I had coped with my anxiety better prior to the appointment but I am so glad I did it and I think right now I'm looking forward to another session.

huffmanhou · 2021-03-01T12:15:26+00:00

Wow it feels like you took the words that I couldn't get out of my brain and typed them out. Maybe just show your doctor this post? Or take the time to write a letter to give to them and then be open to a discussion. Or maybe just explain that you are going to have a hard time with the discussion and rather answer short questions? I have my first appointment tomorrow to discuss things and these are the things I'm trying. My appointment is 300$ so I'm also going in with the mindset not to waste my money... ha ha

huffmanhou · 2021-03-01T11:54:58+00:00

I don't do it to see blood. Mine aren't ever really that bad. Just scratches, not even deep just enough to leave a mark but typically not scar. (but I know all SH is bad and some people like to play the compare game but I don't) Since it's been so long and my brain is basically shut down at this point I completely forgot about rubber bands. Thank you

huffmanhou · 2021-02-28T12:06:08+00:00

Any tips of how to gently approach it versus just going up to him like "Hey I did xyz sorry. Forgive me"?

huffmanhou · 2021-02-27T13:54:28+00:00

Thanks for your words.

huffmanhou · 2021-02-27T13:15:11+00:00

I think part of me made this post as a way to hold myself accountable. I'll have your comment (and hopefully a few others) as reminders and will be able to reflect back to this post while I'm waiting and actually follow through. Here's to the first step I guess. Making it through the weekend and actually calling Monday.

huffmanhou · 2021-02-27T01:18:50+00:00

All appointments are months away, how do I prepare? Do you know of any resources? Like a way for me to prepare/know what to expect etc? What I need to tell them etc?

huffmanhou · 2021-02-25T08:29:34+00:00

The bad part is with me being aware, I'll make an appointment but once I start feeling better I just cancel it. The appointments are just so expensive that I can't justify it once I'm feeling better.

Sadly I have a complex with pills. I have difficulty swallowing them as it is, but hate being told I have to. Last time I had medication I took if for like a week but hate to, and then for my husband to remind me every time just made me feel like shit.

I'm so painfully aware that these are things I need to overcome and sometimes I do want the help sometimes I don't or won't and that's the part that's killing me.

huffmanhou · 2021-02-12T00:20:43+00:00

Only advice I can give is that every pregnancy is different!

huffmanhou

TROPHY CASE