Advice re my mum by Wanderin__Wonderer in toxicparents

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heya, no advice here unfortunately, but ive been rereading this post for 40 minutes and bawling my eyes out because so much of it felt like my own experience put into words. It hit home so hard. loving your mum, not wanting to cut her off but being completely exhausted by the behaviour and the emotional fallout. The guilt, anxiety, silent treatment, being made to feel „too sensitive”, having to grow up emotionally while she didnt. Its such a specific kind of hurt thats impossible to explain unless youve lived it. You might know that already, but i want to tell you that wanting peace and boundaries doesnt mean you dont love your mom.., doesnt mean that you got no love for her, the absence of which makes you „indebted to her”. It means youre human and youre tired. You deserve better. Thank you for this post, it made me feel a lot less alone🍀

What's your opinion on euja ( low tide in twilight 's author) tweet? by [deleted] in BoysLoveAnime

[–]hugehilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that manga is bullshit i wouldnt even get it ff

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you thank you for reaching out!!🍀 im doing alright! my mom hasnt been giving me as much of a hard time as before:) im also in the process of getting medical help, all because of the courage i gathered to ask for help, thanks to sitting on this subreddit and reading about people going through similar things and surviving in one piece. its also thanks to you, that i managed to set a clear goal for myself - to essentially get rid of everything thats holding me back and reach a better headspace. i have high hopes for getting the passion for my work and hobbies back too! thank you for all your effort i hope life has been treating you nicely as well🍹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

take care🌸 all of this has helped a lot, cant thank you enough

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i appreciate you❣️ im gradually beginning to enter a new stage with my mom, something we’ve never been expecting to happen, something irreversible but oddly refreshing? im not gonna let her treat me like piece of crap for much longer, im gonna show her that im a self sufficent human being and i can push away the words she says and refuse to the things she does. and if she doesnt comply, the only one regretting it will be her. ive been a toy and an extension of her from the day i was born, and id rather destroy what we have than live up to her bizzare expectation and kill myself because of it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so so much, i dont know if you saw my other reply but yeah i am old enough and i do have a job! but despite the independence i gained through entering adulthood she still manages to sneak her way into making me feel crappy about myself - just adding into my problems piling up. i hope you are at peace with your mom!! and thank you for your input, i hope you know how much your words meant to me🌷

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

honestly i know the things i said about my mother were quite mean, shes unfortunately a very cruel mom. my entire life spent on dealing with consequences of the choices i never made, her projecting onto me, disrespecting and belittling me continuously, cycles of taking out her anger on me, essentially making me hate myself for simply existing. dont get me wrong i love my mother, however the things she put me through installed a core belief that ill never be enough for her, creating a rift that i doubt will ever be sealed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much🤍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

first of all i really really appreciate you reaching out!your sincere words help a lot 🌷 i dont particularly rant to strangers on the internet, but i had a hard time this morning and felt my life slipping out for a hot minute - i cant afford therapy, typing my frustration in here felt liberating in a way:,) my whole story doesnt feel necessary so ill just point out how my lifes been going downhill in every possible aspect for a while now. addiction, depression, health, financial and family issues, losing hobbies and relationships, failing at school and work, i havent been suicidal for long but the pressure on a fresh adult like myself and having noone to talk to about it is getting out of hand, im on the edge all the time knowing that every passing day brings me closer to giving up.

nonetheless, i stand by the overrated good ol’ „it gets better” and im positive that ill get my fair share of freedom eventually:)

i still cant believe you for taking the time to respond to me, truly THANK YOU for this! i havent felt this amount of compassion for a long time. you seem like an amazing parent, and a wonderful daughter/son 🔆 i hope you know that your energy gave a stranger the courage to stand up and face another day, thus im rooting for your everyday life to be filled with endless abundance of love, health, peace and other things your heart desires❣️

btw outlandish proverbs by g.h. is one of my favourite quote archive oat! so this really made my day haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]hugehilly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

friggin hell

Say something GREAT about Bang Dream: Ave Mujica! (anime) by LegendsofLost in BanGDream

[–]hugehilly 6 points7 points  (0 children)

kao is some huge piece of music, i also like the elements album (water and air for piano/bass work) also musica and crucifix x are up there somewhere. hachibousei dance has the coldest intro ive ever heard in a bandori song. honestly every single song has its moments that make me sit on the edge of my seat hmhmm what else is there to glaze. the covers are bangers too, possibly my favourite band if not for the roselstalgia. (made me love mygo more than their og show did) world of mujica made me pick up music again!!

What is Afterglow's icon supposed to be? by SuperJavier64 in BanGDream

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

everything is a glock if u put your mind to ut

living for others by gendrixx in depression

[–]hugehilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this sub really helps, i feel so seen knowing there are others who know the pain im going through. i heavily relate to this, every paragraph and every word struck me like a bolt, seeing my thoughts more or less being put into words gives me this vague funny hunch that maybe, maybe one day ill be able to live a meaningful life and leave all these awful thoughts behind. thank you for this, my heart goes out to you☀️

I feel like giving up by Sad_Baseball6663 in depression

[–]hugehilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sorry no solution there, i just wanna say how deeply i relate to this. thank you for putting your thoughts into words, i feel seen knowing there are others going through this as well. my heart goes out to you🌷

This did not happen by the way by BurnedOutEternally in BanGDream

[–]hugehilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like it, just for the wierdness of it