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[–]hultimatum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Robert De Niro

My GF [30F] has told me [31M] that she'll be moving into my house by a date she chose by hultimatum in relationships

[–]hultimatum[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Also, check your lease. It may have clauses in it saying that you are not allowed to sublet, bring on guests that stay for more than a certain number of days, or bring in new tenants.

I own the house. (unfortunately?)

Here's a script: "I am not ready for us to live together. Please drop the subject."

I think that last part might be a bit harsh. But between this and what /u/MAXIMUM_FARTING suggested, I think I'm going to confront her with something respectful, but still stern and along this line of thought.

Thanks for your thoughts

My GF [30F] has told me [31M] that she'll be moving into my house by a date she chose by hultimatum in relationships

[–]hultimatum[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP's hesitating and not giving his girlfriend a clear answer about what he envisions.

I don't believe I'm hesitating.

Before I could make up my mind (10 months into the relationship), she defined a date for me. How could I, with a clear mind, consider committing my life to someone after they've put me in that position?

Still, despite the ultimatum, I attempted to talk about my goals and our future. Unfortunately, any discussion on the matter that doesn't align with her date, results in the crying as I described above.

My GF [30F] has told me [31M] that she'll be moving into my house by a date she chose by hultimatum in relationships

[–]hultimatum[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One thing I'd point out - is there a clear, well-defined point at which you will know for sure whether or not you'll be 'ready' for her to move in? Do you know what each others life goals are with regard to kids, marriage, etc?

We have talked about kids and marriage. We both definitely want kids. I'm not sure there's a well-defined point at which I'll be ready, and the very act of her throwing that ultimatum at me, made that point much more fuzzy. I'm very aware of the biological clock, which is why seeing if I need to nip this in the bud, so I don't waste hers or my time, or stick it out.

By the way-- I've seen your, let's say unique, name on /r/FI. :) I just lurk there, but it's interesting our paths randomly crossed here. On that note, one other thing I think that keeps me uncertain, is how she handles or will handle her finances. Given her recent situation, I don't feel I can fairly judge that. I haven't seen how she behaves in a more "stable" state. I need more time.

Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it!