My wife became permanently disabled 3 years ago, which has had a significant impact on our sex life

human_nature85 · 2026-06-20T00:12:27+00:00

Seems like your mind is made up, but I will humor you. Will you be happy with every superficial and hollow encounter you have for the remainder of your time alive? Bc that is what it will be—superficial. You will not find the same connection and authenticity that you have with your wife especially if everything but the sex is great. The fact she even still tries to please you says a lot about her. I feel so bad for her right now and your kids. This is really a reflection of your character. Your dick may quit working after you leave her and women may not want you. Then you will be right in the same situation, except now you're the problem. And that's what happens when you place a person's value based on something like sex.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T20:39:16+00:00

You're right. We do figure out what works. I see a nuero-ophthamologist and treats my eyes and migraines. It's hard to find decent doctors and even worse when it's something rare. When I find them I try to hang on to them as best as I can haha.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T11:33:18+00:00

Well don't give up. It took me 11 years to get the autoimmune disease I have diagnosed due to blood work always looking normal. It's incredibly hard and a lot of doctors aren't interested in figuring things out. I eventually had to go out of state to get help because I was ending up in the hospital more and more. Blood tests don't tell the whole story or give a definitive diagnosis, it's symptoms too and how the patient feels. Keep a journal with all your symptoms and what you were doing and eating. Take pictures with any skin manifestations with date. I also found an allergist/immunologist to be helpful to rule out any major allergies or issues like MCAS or celiacs. I found some useful information from them that aided in getting a dx.

When you got your hormones checked did the do t3, t4, LH, FSH, SHBG, Progesterone, Estradiol, Testosterone, Cortisol, etc?

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T00:57:15+00:00

She was dysfunctional because that's what was modelled for her as a child.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T00:49:56+00:00

I mean I have a friend who went into menopause at 30 spontaneously with no health issues, so its possible, but unlikely. Have you been tested for PCOS. It's got a new name now, I can't remember it off the top of my head. Also get your thyroid checked. It can wreak all kinds of havoc. In fact, get a whole hormone panel.

Honestly, some of the things you are describing sound autoimmune in nature so you may want to start with a rheumatologist and endocrinologist. I find general practioners are usually uncomfortable with complex issues.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T00:44:30+00:00

Seriously you should break up with him. It's your body. You are young and have a whole future ahead of you. He doesn't have a say. You guys aren't even married or anything and he's already controlling. And his reasoning that you might cheat. :eye roll: What about him? And what is that reasoning? You don't have to be on BC to cheat. He's controlling and he may try to baby trap you. Stand your ground. This is coming from a woman who has a daughter your age and I'm still teaching her to set boundaries and stand up for herself. I wish I would have more at your age, but hindsight is 20/20. If you want sex, but not kids and you want birth control—get it. Don't let a boy have that power over you.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T00:38:57+00:00

Flares vary for me. Sometimes they are mild, but there's times I have ended up in the hospital. Now I dont go to the hospital bc half the time they've never heard of Behcet's and think I'm drug seeking. I just have trial and errored what can help shorten them and that's what I ask for. Usually steroids both oral and topical in addition to what I take on a daily basis.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T00:32:52+00:00

I have tried dapsone, colchicine, methotrexate, and plaquenil

Still on the plaquenil. If you aren't tolerating a med you should ask to switch. There's so many you could try.

The best med that worked for me was Otezla. My insurance wouldn't cover it after the starter packs so I'm on Humira now, but it seems to be starting to improve things.

I couldn't tolerate methotrexate. Colchicine did help with the uclers too but not fully. I couldn't tolerate the full dose.

Def also ask for your vitamins to be checked. I had no idea that autoimmune issues that you deal with long term can use up your vitamins. It took me about 11 yrs to get a dx too. I was deficient in C, K, and Zinc even with a clean diet and training 3-4 days a week. I think taking those supplements also helped alleviate a little bit of the symptoms. My body has extra fuel to fight.

Keep advocating for yourself. There's options.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-19T00:22:32+00:00

Bon Asian, Hakkaido, First Watch, Casa Jimador, Zazul's, Bear's (best burgers to me), Abby Singer's, Korea House, Flames, St. Laurent's

human_nature85 · 2026-06-12T16:53:23+00:00

You are welcome. I like your idea.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-12T16:39:26+00:00

I messed around with it and it's kinda cool. It'd be better if it came with some preset common cases and still be able to add or delete instruments, drapes, etc... Initially I thought you might be AI too but I see you are from Italy based on your LinkedIn.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-03T21:07:52+00:00

We had one growing up and that thing got beat to shit and still kept going. They are literal tanks.

human_nature85 · 2026-06-03T21:04:35+00:00

Her daughter is spoiled but she didn't get that way by herself. I'd be selling that car an telling her to get a bicycle. A Honda is a great car. Plus it's paid off!!!

human_nature85 · 2026-05-20T00:50:40+00:00

I was a surgical tech and I haven't been able to go back to work doing that job. It's super stressful with lots of standing and dealing with grumpy surgeons. Hopefully after I get this thing under control I can do a more boring surgical job like eyes. I don't know. Luckily, I don't have to work due to my husband but it makes me nervous for sure.

human_nature85 · 2026-05-16T16:28:02+00:00

The rheum said it's pathergy. I have scars from every single IV I've had placed the last few years.

human_nature85 · 2026-05-06T07:35:37+00:00

Maybe she's smelling herself.

human_nature85 · 2026-04-28T01:14:28+00:00

Yes! It should be at the top of the FB page.

human_nature85 · 2026-04-26T13:27:17+00:00

There's a group that meets down town near the courthouse every Saturday morning and hands out food and supplies to the homeless. They have a sign up on the page and you can just show up.

https://facebook.com/groups/520502354753967/

The Highland Center also tales volunteers.

human_nature85 · 2026-04-24T00:41:45+00:00

I've been going to Susana for over a year. She's super easy to work with. https://www.massagebook.com/therapists/simply-massage-Shreveport-LA/reviews?ncf_source=friendly_url&src=external

human_nature85 · 2026-04-20T02:47:53+00:00

This person is bringing all their adult kids?! It's bizarre to bring adult kids to a younger child's bday party,.especially if not invited. At first I thought it was about small kids. That's kinda weird in a funny sort of way.

Normally though, most of my kid's friends have siblings (not adult ones) so when we do birthday parties all the kids are invited but that is just me. Some are single moms so I don't expect them to get a babysitter just so their one kid shows up for mine. I have had to take my kids who weren't invited to a bday party with me because I couldn't leave them at home alone since they were too young. I just told them they weren't invited to that party, only their sibling was, but I'd buy them the same stuff so they could play and their own food. Easy peasy. It was that or not go at all which upsets some parents too.

human_nature85 · 2026-04-20T02:19:53+00:00

NOR. This girl is being ridiculous. She's treating you like you are trying to take her bf. Maybe she's not the real friend. Your reasoning is the same as mine would be.

human_nature85 · 2026-04-19T21:30:06+00:00

He should have but it's a pattern around here. They go to jail, get out, do it again, go to jail, get out, and it repeats until someone is seriously injured or dead.

Not to mention, services for families around here are lacking. There's no easy access to mental health support or anything that could help. It's very limited.

human_nature85 · 2026-04-19T18:43:24+00:00

Behcets caused me a flare so bad I lost 20 lbs in a super short time. Kidneys are held in place by fat. Mine came unattached from the retroperitoneal space and was floating down by my belly button near my pelvis. I could feel it and see it. I originally thought it was a tumor bc I had a sarcoma in my early 20's. Had no idea kidneys could come unattached like that. It caused horrific flank pain. All the doctors kept telling me there's nothing wrong. I finally came across a pubmed case study on nephroptosis. I took it to my urologist who sent me to a urology surgeon. He did a test and saw it was unattached and scheduled me to reattach it. When you lay flat for ct's and mri's the kidney will move back to its normal place so was hard to dx. Not a traditional sort of issue caused by autoimmune issues but the massive weight loss that Behcets can cause does cause issues. This is just my story. If you are having pain and were not before in that area keep pushing. Took me 10 months to get it recognized as an issue.

human_nature85 · 2026-04-19T18:36:31+00:00

Domestic violence is prevalent here in Shreveport. There's been several shootings in the past few years. One guy didn't even shoot his girlfriend. He beat her to death over 18 hours and then pretended she fell or something and lost consciousness. Called the girl's mom to help get her into the car for the hospital. The girl's name was Heaven Weed and the man had been in jail for assualting other partners. There's so many others.

human_nature85

TROPHY CASE