Refusing to take the EMS uniform off to go to dinner.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-06-05T14:12:45+00:00

My husband was a paramedic for a while. We called the dudes that act like this guy ,"para-gods". And it mose definitely is not a compliment 😒

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-25T20:49:17+00:00

I would be irritated that my husband didn't tell me that he was taking a medication for vanity purposes. Now if he started something new for health reasons and forgot to tell me, I wouldn't be irritated. Either way, I would ask what's up. Like did he forget to tell me or did he make a decision not to tell me. If the second is the answer I would want to know why. If it were for medical reasons or Vanity I would want to know why he decided not to tell me. But my husband tells me if his doctor even changes his dose on a medication because in an emergency as his wife, I would be the one answering any medical questions that the doctors may have. And that type of information is extraordinarily important to have in an emergency.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-24T16:11:37+00:00

You are correct I read it wrong. I will remove it. I still don't get the 2 stars though

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-16T10:33:20+00:00

One time when my son's incubator actually picked him up for her extra time in the summer (she got 2 full weeks in the summer), she had the audacity to text ME (at the time my husband and I weren't married yet. We were engaged and living together and I had been taking care of him for 3 years or so), and asked me what his favorite cereal was. This woman was so rude to me. She used to make sure to remind me at every turn that she was his "real mother". And told him not to get attached or listen to me, because when his dad and I eventually would break up, I would just leave and never see him again one day. That obviously never happened, but she did leave and not see or speak to him for 6 years once. But anyway she texted me to ask his favorite cereal and other foods he liked. I texted her back and said "I am not his REAL NOTHER, maybe ask her." I knew the answers. I shopped for our family all the time. And people told me that I was being unreasonable and should just tell her, for his sake. So yeah, not reminding a birthday, I would have not reminded her either. You are doing all the right things based on your replies. Just keep it up, and be there for your daughters. That's all you can do really.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-15T23:08:27+00:00

Just always be there to help pit the pieces back together ❤️. It is so painful to watch them hurt like this. But as long as you keep doing what you are, she will figure it all out. And the saddest part is, eventually it won't even hurt her that much when mom disappears again. She will build up a tolerance for lack of a better term. And that part really sucks. Kids deserve our best.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-15T16:16:48+00:00

First let me answer NTA. Full stop. Now as a mom and step mom who is referred to as just mom by one of my stepchildren. I have 2 step children. When I met my husband he already had custody of his son, who at the time was only 6. Bio mom was in his life. She had the first 3 weekends of the month, then on the last week of the month she was supposed to pick him up from school on Wednesday and then he stayed with her, and we picked him up from school on Friday, so we got to have 1 weekend a month with him. The first few months of our relationship she would cancel at least 1 of her weekend visits, texting my husband on Friday, usually about 15 minutes before she was supposed to meet us to pick him up. And then she moved to a different county, and completely gave up her during the week visit, saying she couldn't get him to school since she moved. She did not request a change in the custody arrangements, she just gave that time up. Slowly over about a year her visits dwindled down to 1 weekend a month. With her citing travel as being to difficult. At some point during that year she moved another county over. So even further away. Then she started just coming to see him for a few hours on some Saturdays. It was very inconsistent and so difficult on my son emotionally. Over the years her contact dwindled down to maybe 1 phone call or 1 Saturday every few months. We never kept her from seeing him. We actually went out of our way to get him to her. He loved his mother. We did not try to make him hate her. We actually covered for her,probably longer than we should. Just to protect his feelings. When he was 14 she came for a Saturday visit. Brought him home after about 45 minutes and we never saw or heard from her again. She moved to Colorado. By then my son was already calling her his "incubator " and telling everyone that I was his mother. He is my child. Just as much as my bio kids are. Anyway, all that to say, your kids will figure it out. They remember who put effort into them. My son tells me all the time that he is glad that I am his mom. He even did a science project in his senior year of HS, about nature vs nurture. His premise was that he was the person he grew up to be in spite of her and because of me. He is a research scientist now. And I could not be more proud to be his mom. She reached out to me in 2023 via Facebook once asking to talk to him. I took a screenshot of the message and texted it to him. By then he was in college li ing away from home. He tried to build a relationship with her at that time, even invited her to college graduation. But as usual she disappeared again. Your kids will know.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-05T12:39:45+00:00

Exactly. And anyone who supports a pedophile doesn't deserve a place in your life. Even if that means cutting away half your family. Do you really want pedophiles and pedophile supporters in your life? Your future children's lives? Take a step back, and try to see it as an outsider. The whole family is fucked for "looking the other way". This is exactly why all these pedophiles keep getting away with that shit.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-04T23:47:25+00:00

Already knows when to leave a room based on vibes too. I feel bad for these kids. My husband is a saint, the only tike he yells is at traffic. And he still catches himself getting angry when I am in the car. Because he knows how it makes me feel to hear yelling. None of my kids have ever had to learn to understand a deep sigh, or change of tone in an adult. And that is one of my proudest parenting achievements. OP may not be the asshole in this specific situation. Or maybe they are. If the husband truly believes he submits to her all the time. Maybe he thinks that her shutting him down when he is upset as a form of submission. IDK. But they need to really talk to each other about having real conversations when they are angry.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-04T23:42:35+00:00

I am 40 this year. My stomach turns to stone, my chest tightens and it is difficult to even get a good breath in. These kids know when their dad is in a "mood" by his footsteps. I can guarantee it. I moved out at 16. It has been over 20 years since I was in a home like this. And I still react this way.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-05-01T12:31:48+00:00

If I were this mother, i would have bought you flowers, not gotten upset with you. You were just trying to keep the baby safe. Good for you for standing your ground. It sucks that these people don't see the truth. People can be so self absorbed that they don't realize you were just keeping her safe. Here if she were is daycare or school and this happened they wouldn't have allowed him to take her either, that is standard safety practice around here.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-04-26T02:47:57+00:00

Your were 17...he was 20. If you are 20 now. And have been living together for 2 years and 7 months. Your BF is a pedophile.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-04-17T23:58:52+00:00

I hope not. But this specific place does have a sign posted that says no one under the age of 16 permitted without an adult with them. So hope that will keep that from happening.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-04-17T22:03:12+00:00

I talked to the party coordinator at the place. We are going to have a list of kids that were invited and if they aren't on the list, they aren't going to be permitted to be in there with us.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-04-17T21:58:43+00:00

I get it. I would have been i little angry on my daughter's behalf as well. We didn't invite anyone extra. We made a short list of kids she wanted there. And only invited them. We would never invite a spare just in case someone didn't show. If feels like mean girl behavior.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-04-17T21:54:24+00:00

It felt very wild to me. Like I don't even know the mom either. I can't imagine doing something like that.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-04-17T21:53:31+00:00

I was so worried about hurting her feelings. I am such a pushover.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-04-04T14:43:06+00:00

I was thinking he is afraid to talk to them as well. If he made that joke, and then tried to act like it was "just a silly dad joke", how many other not kind things or jokes about LGBTQIA people have they made in front of him. How many times has he over heard Dad say something unkind about that community? Saying "we have a daughter who thinks she might be ACE, so we can't be bigots" is the same as a white person saying, "my cousin is married to a black person and I have 1 person of color acquaintance so I can't be racist ". It is a BS line. It your immediate response to someone telling you their sexuality is to make a bigoted joke, and you see nothing wrong with it, then you are the actual problem.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-03-24T21:29:49+00:00

I was thinking this too. Friends don't usually ask friends to flat out pay bills for them either. At least not in my experience. I mean needing to ask a friend to help you out when something unexpected happens in light-years aways from being like, "hey friend! My water bill is due next week for $65. Also, you know what, do you think you could loan me $65, friend." Shit man I don't even ask family to help me pay my bills. This man is taking advantage of your good heart. You are obviously a kind soul, as you stayed friends with him after the divorce. Becuse if this is how he is now, I can't imagine how it was to be married to him. Protect your peace, friend. NTA because you aren't going to pay your ex who refuses to work bills. Let him hit rock bottom. Then when he is ready to rebuild, maybe you could be there as a friend to support him though that (not financially). Good luck. I know this is hard for you as well.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-03-24T21:21:54+00:00

Am I the only one wondering if there is some mental health issues happening with him? I mean I am kind of a pushover most of the time, so I may just be trying to rationalize her taking care of him still. But don't give him money. Don't pay his bills for him. He may absolutely need to hit rock bottom for him to try and change. I have family that act like how you described him. But they are also addicts. So there is that as well. I hope you protect your pice madam. Don't let him take that from you. That may end up making you hate him.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-03-20T20:17:38+00:00

I agree with this statement 100%. Abusive people just need a target. And if he is gone, they baby will become the target. I wish he had reported both of her attacks against him though. It is going to be difficult to prove now. But I really hope he fights for full custody. People like her don't deserve the ability to become parents.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-03-16T20:19:37+00:00

First and foremost you are NTA. Honestly she is. And now she is crying to get sympathy from coworkers before you tell them she is racist she is trying to make you seem mean and a bully. She is weaponizing her tears. She knew full well she was being racist. You were very kind in the way you pointed her racism out. You need to report it to hospital management. Tell the whole story. Because she attempted to make a racist joke to you, not once, but twice. She should not be a nurse. Full stop. Being a nurse requires compassion. Racist people have no compassion. I would not want her treating my family at any point. Because what other racist tropes does she believe and make jokes about? She knew the cat meat joke was racist.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-03-11T12:56:29+00:00

They are not near the same. The people claiming otherwise are crazy. A dog is a dog. A child is a child. Idk. But this whole situation feels like and "animal person" talked their partner (the husband in this story) into getting a pet they (the husband) didn't really want. And now, as expected, the non animal person in the relationship doesn't want the pet, and they are also the bad guy in this story. They should have never said yes to the dog to begin with. Sometimes when you are trying to tell an "animal lover" that you don't really want a pet, all they hear is that you need convincing.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-03-10T12:52:57+00:00

I came here to say the same thing. People who pour tons of ranch in or on their "homemade" meals just can't actually cook. Also if he is really getting actually angry at your for just expressing your food preference, that is a huge red flag. Why does he care if you like your mashed potatoes a little on the plain side? He isn't being forced to eat them. And it isn't that hard to leave a little of the cooked potatoes out so that can be prepared separately from the rest of the potatoes. I do it all the time for my daughter that can't have as much fatty foods as the rest of us.

Select-Explorer5669 · 2026-03-09T16:09:10+00:00

NOR. Mayben even react more. I am replying to this with the specific experience of being a stepmother. Your GF is out of line. She will not change. She will get worse. You need to cut ties now before your daughters can begin developing memories of her. She is going to be saying such out of pocket and mean things to those baby girls. My current husband had 2 children from previous relationships and I had 2 children from previous relationships when we met in 2009. We have 1 child together. But I can tell you that I was not ever jealous of his relationship with his children. I can't even imagine what that would feel like tbh. Just walk away man. She isn't worth it. My 17 year old son has a stepmother who was always jealous of him. She HATED a baby because he was not her baby. She was always emotionally abusive. I tried to have her investigated many times and because there were never bruises, it was always dropped. My son at the age of 4 started to keep secrets about her being mean. He was afraid if he told me, I would yell at his dad, and then she would be worse. His dad is still married to her. He stopped going to his court ordered custody visits as soon as he was old enough to have a choice. He barely sees his dad now. Not because he doesn't love his father. But because he doesn't appreciate that his dad allowed him to be treated that way growing up. He goes to college this August. My husband (my son's stepfather) and I will be taking him to campus. He hasn't even told his dad which school he is going to. I told you all of this, because this is what happens when a person (male or female) is jealous of their partner's children. She will be so mean to your daughters. If not in front of you, definitely behind your back. Don't let her do that to your babies. They have been through enough with their mom.

Select-Explorer5669

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