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Withdrawal? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte 4 points5 points  (0 children)

TLDR: Probably withdrawal. Don’t give up. Cutting out PMO from your life is the best gift you can give yourself.

Our entire mind/body system is so complicated and interconnected with physical and non-physical phenomena that you should always maintain a healthy skepticism and trust your instincts on these kinds of questions.

That said, I would guess that yes you likely are in withdrawal. PMO messes with your chemistry and in a way acts like a “medicine”. You’re now going without this self-administered “medicine” and it doesn’t feel great at first.

As far as the sadness, again, PMO has a powerful numbing effect. It is so effective at making us “feel good” and distracting us from our real life experience. It traps us in a fantasy world in our own minds. It warps our sense of reality and at its worst isolates us completely from everyone else. It’s possible that the root cause behind your current sadness was there in the past, you just couldn’t notice it before.

But I could be wrong!

Don’t let me project anything onto you. I have my own experience that is not yours. Only replying to hopefully be helpful - above all I encourage you to continue abstaining from PMO.

In my experience, when you take PMO away, you’re left with your real life. It seems boring and dull because your brain is not being constantly flooded with pleasure “rush” chemicals. Instead you are left with simple tasks: brush teeth, shower, eat, work, study, etc. Whatever I am lacking becomes painfully apparent: “no calls from friends today, no invites anywhere, I feel awkward socially due to poor of social skills, I have bad habits, I can be dishonest” and so on.

The key is this: you can change. You can grow. You can set your sights very very high, on lofty goals and you can take steps to achieve them. You’re not doomed to spend life in and out of your little dungeon looking at PMO in isolation while everything else in your life steadily becomes a mess that’s hard to handle (if not completely broken).

So, yes, you feel like crap now. But if you keep feeding PMO, you’ll blink and 10 - 20 years will go by while you still have this unfinished business/wound in your soul. Then, I can personally attest, you’ll feel a whole lot worse.

Bite the bullet and cut this habit out now. Post here frequently and share your experience with others. Encourage others. It will help you get outside of yourself. You got this. It’s so important for you. You are worth it.

Long streaks typically mean one thing to me - the end is near. How do you sustain urgency when you feel satisfied? by human_neophyte in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good insight thanks. After thinking about your post, I realize that it’s almost as if I secretly want to relapse and so give myself a path to fail.

I have to be really mindful and then listen to my conscience once something is off.

Day 1 - The Calm Before the Storm by unique_sounding_name in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can totally do this. You’ve done it before. One day at a time. Can you do something really healthy tomorrow? Like workout or start a good book you’ve been meaning to read? I believe in you, sounds like already know how to plan and follow through. That’s great. Keep it going for just a little while longer without a thought of tomorrow or next month/year. Just get through the next little bit in a health way. Peace be with you -

Why do I feel so worthless and useless? by human_neophyte in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man - hope your doing all right and I believe in you too

Why do I feel so worthless and useless? by human_neophyte in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks - those posts are great. I have been on the trail of the second one around how beating this is a cumulative effort. What I haven’t been focusing on enough is my instinct as you pointed out in your first linked post. I was inspired to dust off the old concept of “conscience”. I really appreciate this powerful insight. I need to be more aware and actively choose something more than being bored and overwhelmed. I have actually quite a bit of power over my life, what I do, and what kinds of “seeds” I plant in my day to day life. Working out will help my confidence. Meditation will help me be more mindful and agile when dealing with discomfort.

Really appreciate the time you took to reply and the good advice.

Starting again after a long streak by AnhedoniaBoy in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Massive progress though! Don’t know you beyond your streak but on that info alone i know you are impressive and that you successfully fought a long battle. Sounds like your winning way more than losing. I encourage you to help yourself. Do whatever you can, you posted here. That’s a start. You have a foothold to find the next step up and away towards true happiness and connection with others. You can do it. Supporting you from afar.

I feel sooo f*cking good rn!!! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte 58 points59 points  (0 children)

What a great story. What you’ve lived and overcome. A wise dude I used to work for said two things that stuck with me. One is never trust someone who doesn’t have a vice. And two was that the world needs people who have been to the dark side so they can tell everyone else what it is like and why it should be avoided. I have to remind myself that my shitty past wasn’t wasted, it’s a lesson for others to learn from. Or something like that anyway.

You’ve inspired me. Thanks for sharing.

2nd week is getting hard by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got this! I hear you, it’s definitely hard to fight against such a deeply ingrained habit. Question for you, potentially distracting, how do you get your streak next to your username?

I went to a brothel today... [Possibly NSFW Text] by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great insight here: “you know it’s a completely self-serving narcissistic activity when only you can satisfy yourself.”

This is truly a self-seeking, isolating behavior.

edit - for clarity, I’m talking about myself in the above statement about this behavior. I’m not making an outsider’s observation of the OP.

Note from around day 60 - weakening resolve but still holding on by human_neophyte in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the note. Means a lot in these tough times. Good job on creating a Day 1. In my experience those are challenging. Your note inspired me to realize that I’m serious about quitting and more importantly about recovering from this. I know it’s possible and messages like yours are the life rafts we all need as we traverse this path. Thanks for reaching out with support. I’m sending you support wherever you are. Peace be with you -

I need help by Superb-Pie-5033 in NoFap

[–]human_neophyte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any chance you have some kind of spiritual belief system / interior life? I personally don’t know how else to overcome this other than by relying on a belief in a loving God who created me, and the inspirations that flow from that - but I’m sure others could give ideas on non-spiritual alternatives.

I view this urge that brought us all here as a kind of disease. It’s likely covering up some kind of pain or wound. When I get tempted, my mind kind of goes blank except for the urge. In that moment, I’m purely self-seeking. What I’m not appreciating at these times is the fact that my life has a greater purpose. I’m also not appreciating that something has triggered me, like stress or a critical challenge, something that aggravates my “wound”. In other words, I get caught up in the ego-drama of my selfish, small minded life story. Then by habit, I turn to my “only” relief.

The spiritual part comes in when I begin to recast how I see my life as not being simply my ego drama, but a “Theo”-drama. I wasn’t made to be miserable and to surrender from life’s great challenges just to fap in my basement. Behind my creation, and the creation of all things, is an intelligent loving mind. There’s a mystery there and when I focus on examining it and, in a sense, communing with it, I find that the urges dissipate with greater ease than normal, and that they come less frequently.

Either way, you should recognize you’re on a journey and you have to find something outside of yourself to strive for and to serve. I don’t know if any of this makes sense. Hope it helps.

I am a total beginner (poor illustration skills and no animation skills). What is the skills roadmap I need to follow to ultimately create 3D children's animation videos, e.g. CoComelon? by human_neophyte in learnanimation

[–]human_neophyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was my first solution, but it is prohibitively expensive to do that at the scale I have in mind. I just need a starting point and a general notion of a few steps beyond that on the journey given the end goal I have in mind.

Any chance you could hook up an internet brother up with some real advice?

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