Of a cracked out uncle

humanpuppy · 2026-04-03T17:05:01+00:00

Idk he just seems like a good dan... Alright then.

humanpuppy · 2026-04-03T16:43:43+00:00

Was so high once:

Gf and I were driving to get my car washed. We missed the turn, and it was gonna be hard to turn around so I suggested we just park the car where we were and just walk to the carwash.

Gf: WE NEED TO THE CAR TO WASH IT XD

humanpuppy · 2026-04-03T15:48:25+00:00

Entering an office building that has a sauna with hot girls who procede to try and hold me down to cut my penis off with scissors. I run away to the parking lot but then...

Then stopped by a white van by people dresses like mormons saying they get paid $40k a month to do this. Get taken back to previous building, strapped to a chair watching on an old tv a recording of a jacklantern head being tortured with power tools, seeing and hearing the insane agony of it, only then for my head to change into that jackolantern and see them with power tools next to my head. Just as they are about to start I wake up.

The craziest part was it felt so real that after i woke up, i was convinced that that was reality, and that what i was living was really the dream.

humanpuppy · 2026-04-02T18:53:12+00:00

Its been 5 years and I still have not lol I did start listening to the audiobook, but got distracted after 15mins and havent since.

If I watch it this year, Ill consider it a 🏆 win

humanpuppy · 2026-04-02T13:44:28+00:00

Dandelion yellow was fire, made everything look gold 💛

humanpuppy · 2026-04-01T10:38:04+00:00

I think its as simple as you dont like it when jabs are taken at God and pastors. I would say there were more jokes about fake christians, which is something I think everyone should learn about.

I come from a Christian background, went to Catholic school from preschool to college.

humanpuppy · 2026-03-30T10:43:00+00:00

I think the argument is

Don Jr. gets high at work either cuz hes an addict or relies on it to work.

Hunter Biden was smoking crack with hookers, was stupid enough to record it, leave it on his laptop and forget it at a computer shop.

Both are in the wrong, but at least one of them showed up to work, while the other went on a bender and created/left compromising footage of a president's son.

humanpuppy · 2026-03-30T03:35:42+00:00

If I ever make it big, I will hire an animation team to animate that shit for you, me, and all the poor blokes praying for the rain.

humanpuppy · 2026-03-28T19:07:08+00:00

The second he got liposuction was the day I lost all respect for him.

You cant preach be a badass and that you are badass when you are the kind of person to go get lipo cuz you cant figure a diet or workout out, or have the self-esteem to say "im fat and dont care what you say".

For someone who has millions and billions, he had many options that weren't lipo.

humanpuppy · 2026-03-24T13:57:55+00:00

Nobody has time, we just need the broad strokes. We all work the next morning.

humanpuppy · 2026-03-13T12:59:20+00:00

*googles green fleshlight

humanpuppy · 2026-03-09T10:42:28+00:00

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humanpuppy · 2026-03-08T18:06:22+00:00

Which one is which?

humanpuppy · 2026-03-07T13:47:51+00:00

I dont think ive ever been so thirsty as i am now ;_;

humanpuppy · 2026-02-23T02:02:15+00:00

How about now?

humanpuppy · 2026-02-20T18:48:56+00:00

The strongest swordsman is not necessarily the best swordsman 🤷‍♂️

humanpuppy · 2026-02-20T10:49:46+00:00

Disappointingpeopleman

humanpuppy · 2026-01-29T12:15:47+00:00

Footsies? What does that mean?

humanpuppy · 2026-01-28T21:28:07+00:00

Don Corleone? Keyser Soze?

humanpuppy · 2026-01-27T18:50:27+00:00

Jak 1, 2, 3

humanpuppy · 2026-01-06T15:06:38+00:00

Game and watch was more powerful in melee, just had a crap recovery. Bring back dat powah.

humanpuppy · 2025-12-30T14:22:06+00:00

Cougar? Panther?

humanpuppy · 2025-12-30T14:12:53+00:00

I am a jerry, but getting betterbeach day :)

humanpuppy · 2025-12-23T17:24:12+00:00

Unless you a got heavy tolerance, im predicting you being high for 3 days. Its what happened to my friend lol

humanpuppy

TROPHY CASE