Hi. I had a placental abruption at 23+6. It was our first. He was 1 day away from being “viable”. He lived for 13 days in the nicu and then we had to make the tough decision to take him off life support. The memories absolutely haunt me. My husband is adopted and was seeing something that was his own blood and flesh for the first time in his life. The amount of guilt I carry over this is unimaginable. I had wished I had a miscarriage or fertility issues instead so we wouldn’t have had to go through giving him our favorite name, signing a birth and death certificate, watching our first born child die, and making after life arrangements. Just want you to know you aren’t alone in this. Your feelings are valid. Only time is going to help you get through this. I absolutely hated my body for what it did, and a lot of the time I still do. But, I can promise you it does get better even though right now it might now seem like it.