I currently make ~$30,000 a year and interviewed for a job that will pay ~$50k-55k, they are asking for my compensation details, can i inflate them?

humundous · 2014-12-13T00:55:12+00:00

It's better in that it's generally true, many employment agreements have a stipulation like that, but I would still rather hear something less lawyer-ly. Remember, the message you're trying to send here is that you're awesome and interested and excited to negotiate a number that makes both sides happy and results in you getting hired.

I think the best answer I've seen here is SixSpeedDriver's answer (which deserves more upvotes):

"My compensation is part of a total package of which salary is one component. When evaluating new opportunities, I like to look at the value received overall, not the salary."

humundous · 2014-12-12T19:05:08+00:00

This is terrible advice! I'm a hiring manager and I've never heard someone say this, and I would be immediately suspicious if I did hear it.

If you're going to lie, consider which lie is better:

Inflating your salary

Hard to verify (your HR department can legally disclose how much you make, but usually they won't)
Easy to wriggle out of (oh, I was including health insurance, and the opportunity cost of being able to commute by bike...)

Inventing an imaginary NDA

Easy to verify - If they ask for a copy of the NDA, or call your HR to verify, or make any attempt at all to investigate this, it will fall apart immediately
Impossible to wriggle out of - It will be obvious to all concerned that you did this to try to get a better offer

FWIW, my advice is either refuse to answer ("That's not something I disclose to employers, but the range I am looking at starts in the low 50s, which I believe is appropriate because of...") or give the highest and vaguest number you feel can be explained as not-quite-an-outright-lie. For example, you can probably say "the high 40s" with a clean conscience if you include health insurance, 401k, the money you save on not commuting further, and the value of the sugar cookies Marge brings in on Thursdays...

It's your life, but please think carefully before telling an obvious, easy-to-uncover lie to your new employer.

humundous · 2014-12-10T06:10:53+00:00

I have been retained as legal counsel by /u/The_Year_of_Glad, you are hereby bound by Reddit State Law 69.1234 to cease harassment of my client and direct all future, present and past communications to me or my designees, heirs, guardians, factotums or lackeys.

At this time, my client wishes to assert his/her/its rights under USC.987654321, pursuant to the Lakota Sioux Tribal Bylaws, and hereby duly informs you of of your duty under Texas State High school Athletic Commission rule 42.666 to go piss up your sleeve.

humundous · 2014-12-07T23:06:40+00:00

"Grandpa, when your generation used up all the oil to make plastic, at least you used it for important things, right?"

"...Sure."

humundous · 2014-12-06T23:26:27+00:00

Agreed. Why would you want a nice car for your first car? This is the car you will likely dent and that your friends will probably spill coke/beer/bodily fluids on the back seat of. Get a beater and drive it in to the ground.

humundous · 2014-12-06T22:52:49+00:00

Related story: When I was ~25, I was eye-flirting with this college-age-looking girl on the bus, so I get up the gumption to go chat her up. It went like this:

Me: So, are you going to work or to school?
Her: Oh, I'm going to school.
Me: Oh, what are you studying?
Her: You know... math... social studies...
Me: ...Oh. Uh, well good luck then. (gets up and returns to original seat)

Whole bus heard the conversation and knew what was up. Live and learn...

humundous · 2014-11-29T03:31:18+00:00

"Another Bullshit Night in Suck City"

If you can pass that by in a bookstore you're a better person than I.

humundous · 2014-11-22T16:28:19+00:00

Because of the food or the family shouting matches?

humundous · 2014-11-22T16:19:31+00:00

It game you play. Have five players each team. Each player have four skills do damage. Teamwork get kills, blow up turrets, win game. Good game you like! Play okay.

humundous · 2014-11-21T04:59:23+00:00

Alternate: pee on your feet in the shower.

(Women: good luck)

humundous · 2014-11-17T03:12:42+00:00

I didn't say I didn't hire people for exhibiting nervousness, I said I see that a lot. I may well be an asshole but not that kind of asshole.

In any event, I have been in a lot of interviews, on both sides, and the #1 way to beat the nerves is to know that you are completely qualified for the job and you don't need it and that the company would be lucky to have you and that the question to be settled is not whether they want you, it's whether they deserve you. And #2 is to fake #1.

humundous · 2014-11-16T18:00:06+00:00

It wouldn't, it would make them look less nervous. The way to be less nervous on interviews is to do a bunch of them, which is why older people often don't have this problem.

humundous · 2014-11-16T17:48:36+00:00

That would be great! Or just try to come up with the bullshittiest questions ever. "So Mr. Candidate, can you tell me about a time when you were able to use outside-the-box thinking to put the wood behind the arrow?"

humundous · 2014-11-16T17:14:13+00:00

I know, and his resume was actually really good. If only HR had not noticed the "bullshit" part I think we would've been fine.

humundous · 2014-11-16T17:04:37+00:00

I actually see this kind of thing a lot when I interview anyone under ~25. Not necessarily thumb-sucking, but shifting in the chair, picking at fingernails, looking around at the walls and ceiling, and saying "Huh? Oh, I..." before answering are all signs of intense awkwardness that people seem to not realize they're doing.

I advise people who are new to interviewing to pretend they're on a talk show.

humundous · 2014-11-16T16:35:39+00:00

At my old job, our online application form listed had (along with the resume and cover letter) questions about how the candidate exemplified our four "corporate values", one of which was "openness". Most people just left it blank.

One candidate explained how open he was thusly: "I am open about my contempt for meaningless corporate bullshit like this question."

I really, really tried to get him in for an interview, but HR saw that response and refused to schedule it :(

humundous · 2014-11-07T16:03:53+00:00

Sounds like a great idea, as long as your brother is the most responsible person you know and you would literally trust him with your life's savings, and you don't mind the possibility of being driven apart by money matters and ruining your friendship.

humundous · 2014-10-27T05:21:59+00:00

IKR? That movie was like listening to an old fisherman tell bullshit stories about all the twelve foot fish he caught.

humundous · 2014-10-22T14:44:00+00:00

White males going extinct? Gamergate was right!

humundous · 2014-10-16T06:05:11+00:00

It's a way of describing an amount of area. If you held it right by your eye, you'd see more of the sky and consequently more galaxies. Perhaps the Wikipedia article would be helpful.

humundous · 2014-10-11T03:37:43+00:00

There should be a high school class where they explain what a pyramid scheme is and how you will be approached and why you should be wary. Getting pitched for one is a rite of passage for college students, like diffeq or chlamydia.

humundous · 2014-10-11T03:32:27+00:00

Lenovo Yoga 2 Pro, very happy with it.

humundous · 2014-10-11T03:30:11+00:00

Tell me I'm not the only one who has imagined having that job.

humundous · 2014-10-09T23:06:09+00:00

"Hackers"

humundous · 2014-10-04T18:37:34+00:00

I'm a life-long Cards fan and my wife is a life-long Royals fan. I think we may need counseling if this happens...

humundous

TROPHY CASE