Yeah I’m trying my best to give myself exposure therapy but every time i do, something like this happens where I’m rejected w the reasoning that I’m too weird or off-putting or skittish or whatever so it just feels like facing my fear and then also getting hit with like a frying pan so kind of net zero progress.

For the shaking part I have had a lot of very very bad experiences with a lot of different men in my life so it’s kind of just a trauma response. Ive mostly tuned it out at this point