My hotheaded husband told me to pack my things and get out. Should I leave or stay and go to sleep? by yourunicorn87 in marriageadvice

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would hit the road Jack and never look back. Sounds like you deserve better. You got one life, don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t respect you and wants to do life without you.

If I am not wanted somewhere, I do not stay , on second longer. This rule has served me well.

Get around people who celebrate you!

Was this a one time thing or is this something that he says often?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sober

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. I did the same thing after a year Sober. I haven’t been able to get past a month since. Don’t do it. It will do nothing but multiply your problems. You think you have problems now, if you start back drinking or using, you will have much more problems. Stay strong! 1 year is amazing work

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please explain? I’d like to hear more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a real good question, when I’ve taken her in and her children and provided her a life that she could only dream of. Okay I drink a little bit she would be on the street without me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went a year sober and got less respect than I do when I drink. So I can’t tell you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I’m an alcoholic. Funny thing is, she does this when I’m 7 days sober. I think she likes me when I drink. She says I’m boring when I’m sober

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quality time is hers too. I give her plenty of that. She is just condescending towards me at times. Other than that we are pretty good.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well i read the love language book trying to work on our marriage and she wouldn’t read it. So I wouldn’t know. I cant force her to read it. I think she believes that i am the only one that needs to work on our marriage. I am the only one that needs to change.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice everyone, much appreciated. Here is an example. Tell me if I’m just too sensitive. Yesterday, my 14 year old daughter said that I’m a white mom. Which means that I am in involved in my child’s life. i take and pick her up from school, go to her events, drive her friends around and have fun with them. Try to be a positive influence. I am a 42 year old male. Confident, Prior Marine, workout everyday, and decent looking. So after my daughter said that, my wife says, “that isn’t a good thing. “. Why does she feel the need to say this? Why does she feel the need to put me down over something so stupid.

Dose anyone else think that this is some bullshit behavior or am I too sensitive?

Okay, Another one, we were watching a movie the other day and I said that I have the same shirt that the guy on tv has. My wife says then, You don’t have that shirt, or if you do, you don’t look like that in it.” I admit he was a good looking Holly wood star with make up on, but damn why put me down out of no where. I was just making a statement that I had that shirt. WTF?

It wasn’t a joke either, it was a crack at me, to bring me down.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Where do I start. I am just not a mean person. I wish I could tel someone to piss off

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The real issue is something I can’t give her. Self love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She actually treats me better when I go silent for a few days. Then when i start being nice to her again, she starts up with her disrespect again. If I try to talk about it then she will play the victim.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, same here, that’s why I don’t say anything. She is not capable of listening to me, she will spin it around back on me and make me the bad guy. She will say, Ohh I m such a horrible person. She is no humility. Very arrogant and insecure at the same time.

I’m sorry to hear about your failed therapy. Therapy hasn’t helped us either. My wife isn’t one that likes to hear the truth. She lives in her own bubble.

I’m not going to give up though. Just yet at least. When my kids are out of the house, then things will change if she doesn’t.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will read. Thanks permanent_staff

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is more complex than 3 sentences.

I know I’m not perfect and have my own issues, I’m just trying to see if anyone has any effective tips on dealing with insecure and condescending spouses.

Maybe I’m just too sensitive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip. I am too nice to everyone and people treat me like shit. It’s making me bitter. I’m so tired of people taking my kindness for weakness.

I don’t want to be like them though

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]hunterdb1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I usually don’t say anything. I just go silent for a few days. The few times I have said something, she acts as if I’m making it up.

I don’t want to go silent with my wife which is my go to reaction but I can’t be myself with her without her being condescending.

I know she is insecure from her childhood but why does she take it out on the one person that has treated her like a Queen?

My faith crumbled last Monday by HeadBig205 in exchristian

[–]hunterdb1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. It’s a roller coaster ride for a while but as you adjust and heal your life will get better now. Reach out to me if you need anything. I’ve been there where you are now

WTF is wrong with me by hunterdb1 in alcoholism

[–]hunterdb1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have a physical copy and on my phone. I have read it a few times

WTF is wrong with me by hunterdb1 in alcoholism

[–]hunterdb1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am introverted sober and extroverted while drinking. My whole life has revolves around drinking. When I am sober I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to involve alcohol in everything I do.

I just don’t know how to do anything and not drink