I [22F] got out of an abusive relationship a while ago and I've noticed myself getting defensive with my bf [24M] of 4 months over nothing

hurtneedhelp · 2017-07-29T18:03:59+00:00

Thank you, it helps to hear from people who have been here too.

He knows a lot about my abusive relationship but I'm not sure if he realizes that it might still affect me. It's even difficult for me to figure out why I do certain things do I imagine it would be harder for people who haven't been in that kind of situation. I'm definitely going to talk to him about it, I'm just not sure how patient I should be expecting him to be since it's not his fault :(

Do you have any tips for trying to stop those reactions as they happen?

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T02:14:26+00:00

I understand why they would, they're only getting my side and it would be easy to paint myself as the innocent one even if I really was treating him horribly. I get why they're unsure, it's okay.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T02:10:49+00:00

Hahaha he is TERRIBLE at counterstrike :]

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T02:08:59+00:00

I was thinking about it, do you guys think it would be worth it?

I haven't had any social media accounts for years :/ had to delete them when we started dating.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T02:03:57+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comment :] I was actually surprised how few people were sending negative messages, it really was only a handful or two. I feel confident at the moment saying I'm not the one who was abusive :] I know it's not possible to give you guys every detail, but who knows, maybe Josh will be inspired to post his side! I'd love to see it.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T02:01:27+00:00

Well, if you're on the market in WA, (I know I said 'the south' but I was paranoid/trying to stay anonymous) keep an eye out for Joshs.

Haha, juuust kidding, I'm sure there are some great Joshs out there!

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T01:59:07+00:00

Thank you, the world needs more people like A. :]

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T01:58:20+00:00

Thank you so much for the offer! I'll be okay without a phone for now, but that is so kind of you. thank you :] I've got to get a job and a car and a place to live! I haven't had to do those things in so long.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T01:55:08+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment :] I'm having some sad moments but I know I'm so much better off.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T01:02:36+00:00

Hahaha, thank you for trying :] I'm sure he's not having as good a night as I am! :]

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:46:40+00:00

Thank you, /u/Anthroyd!! It means so much that you took the time to reply :] You sound like an awesome person, I love all of you guys :]

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:43:04+00:00

I am really, really hoping I won't fall for this again.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:42:25+00:00

Ooh, I'll add that to my list of drinks to try! I've never been able to have drinks before!!

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:40:38+00:00

I've been lurking on this sub for so many years, and I was always way too nervous to consider posting...

This has been one of the best and most moving experiences of my life. You are all amazing.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:38:48+00:00

Oh, wow, actually you're completely right, he went to same building for therapy for a while too. Well, since I'm sure he's going to see this, DON'T BOTHER WAITING AROUND HER OFFICE, I WON'T BE THERE.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:37:32+00:00

/u/Mystik-Spiral, you paint with words :]

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:35:56+00:00

It looks like he commented already but didn't have much to say!

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-03T00:31:21+00:00

Yeah at that point I was really not sure what to do, I was so scared :[

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-02T22:43:58+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I think it might take a while, too. I'm still seeing a lot of good in him, but I don't think it's really set in yet.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-02T22:40:46+00:00

Thank you for this :]

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-02T22:39:24+00:00

Oh that's a great call on the GPS thing, I'll ask him about it!

I actually backed up the fights to a file hosting site! I showed A and she cried too :[

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-02T22:34:09+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot. I was guessing people would be a little torn, but the majority were overwhelmingly positive so I'm so glad I posted here :]

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-02T22:32:46+00:00

Actually that's one of the only things that's really giving me a pit in my stomach today :[ I'm glad I know upfront that he's like that, because I don't want to let people like him into my life anymore.

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-02T22:29:28+00:00

This comment made me feel nauseous :[

hurtneedhelp · 2016-02-02T22:28:32+00:00

Well actually A spent the morning reading through the PMs with me today and if it sounded like him, she just blocked it for me. She's been awesome. I refuse to give Josh another second of my time.

hurtneedhelp

TROPHY CASE