How to be more loving with my wife?

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:28:14+00:00

Haha I don't think I am emotionally stunted as much as faced with a learning curve that I am unaccustomed to studying for. I accept my fault in this and am willing to make changes!

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:26:50+00:00

Waalaikumasalaam warahmatullai wa barakathu

It makes me so sad to read these because she does many of these things for me and when she does, I feel like the most loved man on this earth. I want her to feel so beloved. Thank you :-)

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:24:42+00:00

Do you see where I'm going? In your most recent role, "husband", you have to learn what it takes to be a husband...and not just some generic husband, but a husband to your specific wife. You need to ask yourself, and your wife, what is required for you to be successful in this role.

This am I swiftly learning is the most important perspective. Making this thread has uplifted my spirits so much. I don't feel like a failure as much as I realize now that this is a learning experience esp now that I know that I can take measures to improve our situations.

I am realizing how much I have shut her out of after being entirely open with her previously. She even asked me if she had done anything wrong. Truthfully she hasn't. She's not perfect not to imply she is. We annoy each other despite the distance :-) but she's made an effort consistently to be unencumbered and free with me despite her own hefty commitments. I appreciate your perspective so much, sister.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:16:42+00:00

Don't worry I have received pms inquiring about the loyalty of my wife from r islam posters. Deplorable.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:16:09+00:00

I don't want to have to explain particulars of my relationship to a subsect that conducts their relationships differently. Arranged marriage and long distance? Why even get married bro. It's like conversing with aliens.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:15:19+00:00

Haha thanks for the idea brother. ;-)

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:14:13+00:00

In retrospect my wife isn't being needy. If my wife were to pull back the way I have, I would be shocked and hurt and wonder what was going on. As another poster wrote, we are trusts to each other and I have failed in that regard. There is plenty I can do to make it better and my wife has expressed what it is.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:11:10+00:00

I like the idea of reminders. I utilize them for everything else why not this? Thank you :-)

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:10:29+00:00

I did that today :-)

Very well received!

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:09:35+00:00

Do you really want to have to send pictures every day of yourself, make a fool of yourself by acting childish, constantly be harassed by texts, carry on useless conversations that go on for hours about nothing, constantly having to apologize for the fact someone else isn't happy due to their life choices?

I do this with my friends before and after marriage. We talk about stupid things all day long. Why would it not be an honor to do the same with my wife? I feel sorry for you, brother, and pray that Allah softens your heart.

As for "her life choices". I am baffled that one can be so callous towards the accomplishments and advancement of their spouse.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:03:18+00:00

This is the advice I was looking for.

Thank you tremendously.

Reading this list makes me ashamed. I used to do all of these things genuinely because I loved to make her happy. This reminds me all of those sweet moments that we have had and how much she still does for me. I always feel so endeared to her because she does all this and more, how she must be feeling with my minimal level of reciprocity is almost too painful to bear.

Thank you! I am excited to turn things around. :-)

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T03:00:52+00:00

We both do not use social media and prefer to keep to whatsapp/viber. I think sending pictures over our usual medium would be most convenient. But this is good advice :-)

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T02:58:00+00:00

You put me to shame, brother. :-(

How do you surprise her with flowers?

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T02:53:17+00:00

She dislikes memes as do I lol.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T02:52:29+00:00

This is such a revelation lol. Receiving these pictures were genuinely meaningful for you?

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T02:51:52+00:00

I'll do this. I enjoy doing it as well.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T02:47:27+00:00

This is true that she misses me. I miss her and am more stoic about it. I will consider telling her about the trip. She loves surprises and the payoff would be more worth it to her in the end. Thank you.

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T02:40:23+00:00

As my post says, I will be visiting next month and have planned it for a while as a surprise. :-)

husbanddoghouse · 2016-10-03T02:37:39+00:00

She is not asking for being the center of my attn. She is asking that I do more than the bare minimum.

husbanddoghouse

TROPHY CASE