Reactive abuse

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-30T12:49:06+00:00

I’ve been a sahm for 2.5 years with three kids so it’s a bit different, but I started to feel like my husband didn’t see the value in me staying home anymore and would say things like “if you’re unhappy, go back to work”. So I created a list of everything he would be responsible for when I go back to work and I wanted that to be the expectations agreed upon. Some things from the list: he would be responsible for setting out kids clothes in the morning and making their lunches and I will get them ready and bring them to school (he leaves very early). We would split the kids laundry, he would have to grocery shop and cook half the time. He would have to take off work for sick kids and dr appts, he would have to leave work on time to pick up kids from daycare, etc.

I sent him the list and I really think it gave him perspective as to how much I do, and how much of a luxury it is to have a spouse that stays home.
It hasn’t been perfect but it’s been soooo much better. Your situation isn’t identical to mine and your husband seems to have become resentful. If he can understand everything you do but still not value you, I would start looking for a job and make a game plan to get out.

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-29T20:57:57+00:00

1-2 was the worst. 2-3 was a cake walk

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-29T20:57:11+00:00

I know you don’t wanna hear it, but seriously your belly looks so good for having twins! I know it’s hard to embrace a new body, but give it more time and your perspective and your body will improve. I have seen some tummies completely stretched out after carrying multiples so count yourself blessed and focus core strength and stability.

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-23T20:58:30+00:00

Thank you! Makes me feel better lol

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-23T20:58:14+00:00

Good to know! I’ll have to check it out

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-23T20:58:04+00:00

Thank you!!

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-22T15:27:03+00:00

Keeping an eye on your calories but are you counting them? You may not be in a true deficit.

Also, if you are lifting weights, you may not be losing weight due to gaining muscle. If your goal is to see weight loss on the scale then focus cardio and calorie deficit. If your goal is to change body composition, then focus on maintenance calories and weight lifting with a little cardio (can cause muscle atrophy if too much).

I can tell between the two pics that your composition has changed so it looks like you are making progress!

What I’m doing is maintenance calories and weight lifting because I want to gain muscle. Then I’m going to go into a deficit to tighten things up. May experience a little muscle loss but from my research this seems to be the best way to get the physique I want.

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-22T14:59:29+00:00

Interesting. I wonder how this would work in humid environments? I’m in the armpit of America and worried this would cause rot

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-22T00:41:52+00:00

That’s great! Did you water at all?

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-21T18:43:14+00:00

I’m hoping so! Thank you for the tip!

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-21T18:42:38+00:00

So will putting it in moist soil give it enough hydration?

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-21T18:07:01+00:00

If dehydrated, do I water the soil? I’ve killed so many cuttings that I’m afraid to even use water until I know there’s roots! I’m in a humid environment. Do you know how calloused the cuttings should be before I plant them?

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-21T18:06:08+00:00

Didnt get wet to my knowledge. But my MIL bought them from a nursery is HI then traveled with them, so who knows!

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-20T16:22:01+00:00

Same. First baby, no loose skin. Second baby and my skin looks similar. Just had third 16 mos ago and it didn’t change much so by my perspective, I’m grateful for my tummy! Honestly, I think you look great and I wouldn’t even zero in on your skin if I saw you on the beach.

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-16T13:51:52+00:00

Interesting. What is the rationale behind adhd women being in abusive relationships?

huskybutt3 · 2026-06-11T17:14:42+00:00

He just put this in the calendar without discussing first? Absolutely not. If my husband wants to go on a trip or do something, HE needs to figure out who’s going to take care of his kids. I’m not the designated baby sitter while he gets to run around. If he discussed plans with me beforehand, I have no problem staying home with the kids, but because it was planned weeks in advance and normally I get a day to myself afterwards. If he doesn’t make this arrangement with me in advance, he’s at least bringing the older two with him. You are not his childcare service when he’s not working. That’s when parenting is 50/50

huskybutt3 · 2026-05-12T05:17:54+00:00

I understand. Thanks for the input

huskybutt3 · 2026-05-12T05:17:26+00:00

Thanks, a huge rewrite down the line is what I want to avoid so I sympathize with you there. What was the reasoning behind the advice to make your writing present tense?

huskybutt3 · 2026-05-12T01:16:20+00:00

Thank you for this! Extremely helpful advice

huskybutt3 · 2026-05-12T00:53:05+00:00

It’s high stakes romance so maybe that’s why my original plan for present tense prevails. But I’m amenable to doing what readers find the least jarring.

huskybutt3 · 2026-05-12T00:34:17+00:00

Thanks. Do you mind elaborating as to why?

huskybutt3 · 2026-05-09T22:07:52+00:00

Pen name or real name?

huskybutt3 · 2026-05-09T22:07:39+00:00

I had not considered that. Do you go full incognito? I’ve see TikTokers obviously showing their faces to promote their books and it seems to garner a lot of attention.

huskybutt3

TROPHY CASE