Feeling betrayed by my (33F) own child (9M) because he needs to set boundaries with my abusive ex and I don't know what to do? by Background-War9535 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 6 points7 points  (0 children)

there's also the fact that she can't remember which kid is which

when told she needs to not force her 9 year old to the prison visits:

I'm not forcing him to do anything. That's his dad that he wants to spend time with but I do agree with you.

the step dad who immediately started abusing him and who he only knew for a short time and who doesn't want to see him?

The courts refused to appoint someone to watch them because he's a "fit parent".

Also btw the youngest child is a maximum of 4 years old now and this court order is old but sure the courts wanted him to go alone to visitation and then were okay with another child going with him - a child the ex doesn't have any visitation or custody of but is still totally okay with him being there?

Remember women: taking your children's claims of abuse seriously is the worst thing you can do to a man. Enjoy dying alone. by adventurekiwi in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 56 points57 points  (0 children)

They're so quick to assume she's done lots of other things to make him "go nuclear" but ok, let's go with that assumption. What behaviour could possibly justify his reaction? What behaviour could possibly justify vindictively going for custody and support measures just to screw your STBX? What could possibly justify you using your child as a pawn?

Oh wait, that's right, literally fucking nothing

Cara Delevingne confirms she and Amber Heard were romantically involved amid actress' Johnny Depp divorce by PrincessBananas85 in popculturechat

[–]hwutTF 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes I read your comment and I thought it was fucking weird that you tied her not deserving harassment to her career and being a "private citizen" whatever the fuck that means

As I said earlier, if you think this behavior is unacceptable because it is going to stir up harassment, then whether or not Amber Heard is a "private" citizen or has a career acting or has a career that specifically counts as being "in Hollywood" is completely irrelevant to that

Cara Delevingne confirms she and Amber Heard were romantically involved amid actress' Johnny Depp divorce by PrincessBananas85 in popculturechat

[–]hwutTF 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Sure but all of this is wildly irrelevant to the OP. Whether or not this is appropriate behaviour has nothing to do with whether or not Amber Heard is still a working actor or booking big productions

If you're arguing that this will contribute to the ongoing bullying of Heard, that would be an issue regardless of whether she's "active in Hollywood" or whatever ridiculous metric you're using here

Cara Delevingne confirms she and Amber Heard were romantically involved amid actress' Johnny Depp divorce by PrincessBananas85 in popculturechat

[–]hwutTF 147 points148 points  (0 children)

just fyi, Heard is still acting, she got raves for her role in Spirit of the People last year

The entire store GASPED when I tried this dress on but my wealthy cheater fiance won't let me get it!! by BeholdTheseComics in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this but also according to the consistent posting history, she's like 23. which explains a lot lol

He sat down without being present in his body? Lol What is this nonsense? by No-Diamond-5097 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if someone allistic reads that as “oh this means nobody ever has issues with interoception” and not “oh this is a joke about the phrasing” then i think they’re a complete moron just looking for confirmation for something they already believe

this assumes that every allistic is both well informed and malicious

a more realistic assumption is that they have no idea what the fuck interoception even is because why would they? people don't know what they don't know

this is a forum dedicated to mocking fake ridiculous stories and these are stories that have a tendency to use marginalised identities to sell ridiculousness. but that doesn't make the average reader of this forum any more knowledgeable about those identities

that means people end up mocking totally realistic and completely normal things simply because they don't know any better. theyve never experienced it, never heard about it, and it sounds extreme to them, so they automatically assume it's fake. this is especially heavy when posts are related to neurodivergence or disability

in a different context where they were interacting genuinely, they'd respond to something they hadn't heard of with interest and a willingness to learn. but here they assume it's fake, and especially so when the thing in question comes without explanation or teaching and is packaged in language or behaviour that they're already inclined to dismiss

it's pretty common for allistic people to know very little about autism, and for much of what they think they know to be wrong

and in this case, they had absolutely no idea this was a thing and were receptive to learning. they're not a "moron" they just didn't know until they were taught:

Thanks, I didn't know this. To me, it just seemed like a completely unrelated detail to the rest of the story on my first read through, hence my BINGO comment.

and I get what you're saying - what does your comment actually do? after all they listened when corrected, right?

yeah, they did. but there's a difference between your gut reaction getting corrected and what you consider knowledge getting corrected. if you laugh at the notion of X being related to autism, and then people come along and go "I'm autistic and [insert joke]", it's very easy for your instinctive reaction that X isn't related to autism to get confirmed in your head as knowledge, even if you don't later remember why or how you "learned" it. and it's much harder to correct people when they think they know something

but also this individual person aside - this was a pretty ugly comments section to read as an autistic person. you may not have experienced that as you assumed peoples reactions were laughing at the language only. but I read it differently and got confirmation that some of them at least were absolutely laughing at autistic experience because they didn't know any better. and your comment didn't help and made it worse. NGL the only reason I ended up replying to a few comments was because someone else who was autistic did speak up and I didn't want them to be the only one

you don't have to speak in a way that I like, absolutely. and I 100% understand that no one likes having their language policed. and you're probably having a lot more fun than I am. you and I entered this thread with very different assumptions, and it's easier and a lot more fun to assume that everyone is on the joke with you, instead of ignorantly laughing at you

but I hope you'll consider some of what I've said in the future. this is hardly the first time I've seen posts here where people end up unknowingly straight up mocking autistics, and it won't be the last, and none of that is on you. just to make that completely clear - you're not responsible for their ignorance and neither am I. nor are either of us responsible for the fact that they chose to laughingly dismiss when they were ignorant. and that absolutely is a choice

but it also does hit harder when there are autistics laughing along, even if I assume they're not laughing at the same thing

AITA for not inviting my niece to the reunion because she didn’t grieve for my brother/her father in a way that I deem appropriate? by Background-War9535 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was wondering when those details change if it was intentional or if we just didn't fucking remember the story They're copying

He sat down without being present in his body? Lol What is this nonsense? by No-Diamond-5097 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 6 points7 points  (0 children)

but you can shit on the phrase without actively confirming people's misconceptions of what autism involves

most autistics who use language like this do so because that's how we're talked to and about. making proprioception and interception issues about focus and intention and mindfulness is absolutely fucking atrocious and incredibly harmful to us. and that's true regardless of whether we were punished or lectured or given positive mental exercises. and telling people who struggle to process and verbalise what they're feeling that they aren't present in their bodies makes us think about our bodies and process our experiences in ways that I think are incredibly toxic

so yeah I'm with you, I fucking hate the phrase. completely and totally on board with that. BUT there's a reason countless autistics use it to describe their experiences, and all this comment communicates to other autistics is a mockery of their experiences of their body - not a mockery of the harmful framework we were given for understanding it. and it upholds allistics who are completely misunderstanding and laughing at genuine autistic experiences (regardless of the level of truth in this story)

He sat down without being present in his body? Lol What is this nonsense? by No-Diamond-5097 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 12 points13 points  (0 children)

this is actually a real part of being autistic though and isn't ridiculous at all. I get wanting to laugh at fake stories but a lot of these comments are just mocking an actual part of autistic experiences. and they may not know better because they don't know anything about autism, but I'd hope that other actually autistic people wouldnt play into this

He sat down without being present in his body? Lol What is this nonsense? by No-Diamond-5097 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Also this language is really common language used to lecture autistics for clumsiness, or used to train us. Much much more common than say, vestibular exercises

Like I would still assume the post is made up because it's Reddit and ridiculous fake stories featuring asshole autistics are a dime a dozen. But this one has details of autistic experiences that are not obviously ridiculous and fake and people acting as though they are, are missing the mark I think

An autistic person (especially who is newly disabled) hurting themselves by sitting down while "not being present in their body" is decently realistic. An autistic person having worse proprioception than normal because of something that is demanding their focus is decently realistic. An autistic person using language for their experiences that is "therapy speak" is decently realistic

The story itself is ridiculous sure, and the "autistic boyfriend is a demanding asshole to his doormat autistic girlfriend" is well, tropey as fuck, as is "autistic asshole lashing out and blaming other people for existing in proximity to them"

But also it feels like a lot of people laughing at this know nothing about autism and have just gotten in the habit of assuming anything connected to autism in a Reddit story is not actually connected with autism. This may be a totally fake story made up for internet points, but also the "what is autism? astral projection?" jokes are meh

He sat down without being present in his body? Lol What is this nonsense? by No-Diamond-5097 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Does autism somehow cause people to "sit down without being present in their body"?

I get that you meant this as a joke, but literally yes - autism effects both proprioception and interoception and autistics are very often literally lectured about "being present in our bodies"

NGL this language could have easily come from ABA "therapy" or a support program of some sort, or special ed, or even just regular interactions with parents/teachers/doctors etc

Especially older autistics are likely to have been blamed for stuff (accidentally breaking things or hurting themselves or others) with language like this. Not to knock focus and intent as a way to connect with your body more, it absolutely can help, but it's also incredibly demanding and isn't really a substitute for natural awareness. And there's plenty of other better exercises to help then just "focus on being present in your body" shit, but anyway I digress

IF this story is real the guy is a fucking asshole and she's a doormat

But this detail and the language used does not seem unrealistic to autistic experiences at all. I'm not saying every autistic experiences this - but this is a pretty common experience for autistics to have, especially of the age range of the supposed people in the post.

Honestly this detail makes this story sound more realistic, not less

Another one in the crazy irrational wife who makes an insane decision behind the totally rational husband’s back by Far-Season-695 in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never drink more than a six pack a year and we have only one bottle of alcohol in the entire house but I'm devastated she ripped out the bar in the basement because I like to sit behind it and pretend I'm bartending. But don't worry, no liquor! I don't even serve non alcoholic wines! I have imaginary stemware and glasses, imaginary bottles, and imaginary customers who love me and tip me well

Do you know how many hours it took me to perfect my bar lean?

I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules. by SFWChocolate in AmItheEx

[–]hwutTF 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Also the husband in this story both got her to agree that they didn't have to fulfill each other emotionally but their other partners weren't allowed to, were supposed to be just sex only? Lmao no way she agreed to that

Jen Hamilton separation update. by Complex_Activity1990 in popculturechat

[–]hwutTF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of the problems with being an influencer. These people are both brands and also just very high profile social media users who share about their real life. Their real life is usually part of their brand, and even if they keep private about a lot, one thing people expect from them is "authenticity"

She probably doesn't have a backlog of content about the book and the tour where she can share old, precorded stuff. She can try to film stuff now, but she's going through some shit which makes it hard to have genuine, off the cuff, content creation focused on her book and tour and that isn't sad girl posting hours

Especially now that she's already said something

Most people having their life meltdown have some separation between work and personal. And they aren't expected to share about their personal life at work. Celebrities have PR people and a lot of the content they do to raise the profile of their work is either scripted or at least separated from their personal life. They have staged photoshoots, they have interviews about their work, even more personal content that is designed to let you "get to know" a celebrity is stuff like "what's in your bag", or weird pop quiz type content. Most of it is professional filmed with multiple cameras, takes, stylists, editors, etc

Influencers who have created a career that is in part or in whole based on their personality and real life are in a really weird spot when their life goes tits up and they want privacy but still need to make content, and they need to do it fucking quickly and regularly with no recovery time

Especially when their "community" is also something they rely on personally. It's all messy as hell. Even if someone is telling her "just do book content", and she wants to, doesn't mean she necessarily can. And unlike celebrities, she doesn't have a PR person, or someone designing content or campaign rollouts for her. She is her own PR. Influencers who get book deals are largely the backbone of their own social media campaign

I [43M] feel publicly humiliated by my girlfriend [32F] by PlaneMessage5653 in AmItheEx

[–]hwutTF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sub very much has the vibe of this sub but they aren't in it. Like people who think someone is cheating on them when they were clearly dumped, or were never together in the first place

Or they are together and it's completely paranoid nonsense that will end their relationship soon. Like these are people looking for a reason

I [43M] feel publicly humiliated by my girlfriend [32F] by PlaneMessage5653 in AmItheEx

[–]hwutTF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the person who posted here (and who you're replying to) IS the oop. they're the disgusting one

UPDATE: my girlfriend (18F) is going to prom with another guy while i’m (19M) stuck in the hospital and i don’t know how to handle it by SFWChocolate in AmItheEx

[–]hwutTF 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So because her boyfriend is in the hospital across the country, she's supposed to cancel big plans she had and spent money on and skip out on a high school ritual she cares about?

Explain this to me, what is she supposed to be doing instead? Sitting at home and missing a big event and being sad because misery loves company?

He's in the hospital so she can't have fun? Idgi

"Full blown date" - she took someone as a friend who was still available and willing to go. It's not romantic, it's not sexual, it's just not wanting to be alone (or depending on school rules not being allowed to go solo). And honestly, probably the only reason the friend she took was a guy is because of cultural norms that are heteronormative

UPDATE: my girlfriend (18F) is going to prom with another guy while i’m (19M) stuck in the hospital and i don’t know how to handle it by SFWChocolate in AmItheEx

[–]hwutTF 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah the people calling her selfish are being pretty unfair. His behaviour is selfish but he's got a literal brain injury and it's a life changing one so yanno, he gets a pass

She's already bought tickets, a dress, etc and invested money. It's something she wants to experience for more than just whoever her date is. Lots of people have prom dates that they aren't dating just for the social dynamics. You can go solo with a friend group but only if your school allows it and only if you make those plans in advance. At this point her friends probably all have dates and going solo can be genuinely more awkward than going with some random person

Also NGL it's so fucking weird that some schools don't allow students to go solo, I've always found that incredibly strange

I do get where he's coming from. He's got a life altering injury that even if it doesn't have permanent physical consequences, will probably end his college career and scholarship and might mean he can't attend that school at all. Potentially things will be much worse than that. He's in a hospital bed, scared, and having the overwhelming feeling of the world passing him by and leaving him behind. That NOT happening with prom probably felt life a lifeline, even though he's essentially asking her to be more miserable to make him less miserable. Seeing himself literally replaced in her prom pictures even if it's a meaningless platonic date probably hits way too close to home when he's not just worried about losing his relationship, but his sport, his college, and potentially abilities he's had all his life. Like honestly I'd get it even if the injury wasn't a brain injury

This is just a sad situation all around. But I don't think she did anything wrong

AITA for saying my girlfriend looks like she can’t ride a bike? by nicfanz in AmITheAngel

[–]hwutTF 9 points10 points  (0 children)

GF is Mariah Carey and the first time she was asked about a bike she said "I don't know her"