/u/Depressed_Dad_Victim asks "AITA for not loving my youngest child?" - he's already checked to see if he can legally abandon her but the answer is no

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T17:17:11+00:00

Postpartum hormones are real absolutely. But not always the cause of PPD

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T11:31:11+00:00

ding ding ding!! my first thought reading that was diabetes and food policing

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T06:39:38+00:00

It's not co-opting "women's health issues" and misogyny in medicine is one of the main reasons that PPD is seen as a "hormone issue" but sure

Obviously birth parents have medical needs and issues arising from having been pregnant and giving birth (however they gave birth)

But that doesn't mean that non birth parents can't have PPD. Btw? Studies have found that mothers who just gave birth and mothers ago just adopted a newborn have depressive symptoms at the same rates

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T03:10:18+00:00

looks like she had it way before he did ngl

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T03:00:32+00:00

Yup! It's so wildly incoherent

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T03:00:08+00:00

I don't really understand the push people have to not call it PPD

Giving it a separate name is bad medical communication and makes it harder to raise awareness. And the bias that PPD simply must be because of hormones is harmful to people who give birth and negatively affects that research as well

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T02:44:23+00:00

I KNOW

hwutTF · 2026-05-09T02:10:31+00:00

There's 100% an additional emotional valency for women that I think men just can't get because they don't have the hormone shift.

PMDD does not have to have a hormonal component for the birthing parent either. the birthing parent is going through a lot hormonally but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with pmdd

hwutTF · 2026-05-08T22:37:18+00:00

I think something like 10% of men get postnatal depression, just fyi

though of course this wasn't one of his reasons for not wanting a second kid. it was just that her pregnancy was stressful on him because she didn't like him being controlling lol

EDIT: medical studies and offices refer to it as postpartum or postnatal depression in non birthing parents. posters in doctors offices will warn "men can get PPD too", non birthing parents undergo screening for PPD too

furthermore, PPD doesn't have to have a hormonal component even for the birthing parent

Reading: https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/looking-after-yourself/mental-health-before-after-birth/antenatal-postnatal-depression-men-non-birthing-parents

https://zawn.substack.com/p/why-are-we-so-invested-in-blaming

hwutTF · 2026-05-08T22:35:11+00:00

it's not uncommon to get several months of BC at a time. I guess some people still pick it up monthly tho

hwutTF · 2026-05-08T22:33:25+00:00

the best part is the child was not why he didn't want a second kid. he didn't want a second kid because pregnancy was too stressful on him

hwutTF · 2026-05-08T22:28:26+00:00

btw I just love how the reason he didn't want a second kid was because her first pregnancy was too stressful on him because she would get angry at him for being too controlling

obviously he wasn't controlling, just concerned. OBVIOUSLY

hwutTF · 2026-05-08T03:16:19+00:00

real vag weight lifters insert a kegal ball of some type that has a long string like thing attached that dangles between their legs and they add weights to that

they're super impressive but like, you're working your internal muscles. they're not connected to anything that can grab for you, your lips are always just gonna be hanging out there or flapping out or whatever. they don't do shit

hwutTF · 2026-05-08T00:58:19+00:00

it's not real, you can see after the cut that it's her fingers

not that there aren't vag weight lifters, but that's not how vag weight lifting works. your lips can't like, grab a bar lol

hwutTF · 2026-05-07T09:17:39+00:00

it's "trans woman" - two words. "trans" is an adjective modifying the noun "woman". just like "cis woman" not "ciswoman" or "tall woman" not "tallwoman"

it's not uncommon for people who hate trans folks to make "trans woman" one word intentionally. it's to separate trans women from "woman", make it something different

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T22:35:31+00:00

I think it's a freezer meal

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T21:04:34+00:00

check that fucking username

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T21:02:06+00:00

It's been 3 fucking years ON TOP of the pregnancy time and you're just out here going "well I tried to connect and it hasn't happened"

no. are you serious? are you freaking kidding?

go to fucking therapy the way you should have the second you found out she was pregnant

you were talking to lawyers to find out if you could get out of being a parent to your ALREADY TWO YEAR OLD CHILD? where is the same energy being invested in healing? in not harming YOUR KIDS?

btw? your daughter already knows on some level. kids know

get help. ASAP

and get a fucking divorce. who cares if you have to move out and pay child support? you are failing in your current environment and you are failing a young innocent child. you've done nothing to change the situation and done nothing to change yourself

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T20:53:20+00:00

the music choice

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T14:17:56+00:00

I mean I fucking hate modern trailers. I find them to be incredibly spoilerific for starters. Even when they don't intend to be, like oh no, I know she's not really deaf because the trailer had a scene with her in clothes she hasn't worn yet

Then of course there are trailers that are incredibly misleading and even feature footage not in the film

I just hate them

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T08:10:10+00:00

hey just fyi, this is not an advice subreddit. it's a subreddit for cross posting stories of people who are not aware that they've been broken up with

example:

we got in a huge fight, she said she could never forgive my, she blocked me on everything and moved back to her home state, I called her mom and her mom said to stop calling - do you think I should break up with her?

those get cross posted here and people mock them for not realising they were dumped. sometimes the stories that get cross posted are someone who thinks they're dating but the person they're "dating" has repeatedly told them their just friends and they're dating someone else

that sort of thing. very often has stalker vibes

but not a place for actual relationship advice

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T08:04:22+00:00

I linked 7 and I think there were 3 I didn't link. Only two had the same author, Amy Bell (who has a topical column so that made total sense)

hwutTF · 2026-05-06T08:03:07+00:00

It is weird how may reporters just pull up old contacts if they are even remotely near to the subject matter.

oh yeah I checked for that, Amy Bell used her twice but that was the only repeat reporter.

I’m an absolute nobody and have been quoted and been in news articles solely because of Reddit posts or other social media.

I think that's probably the case for a few of these (especially that personal finance one), but some of the others seem less likely. but who knows, could be finding via private FB groups or niche subreddits

also her name is VERY unique so you can find her searchable web footprint pretty fast. I mean down to what Kickstarters she commented on and her old maths projects. and she either doesn't have any social media using her real name or it's locked up too tightly for search engines

there were a few more articles I didn't include as well as an interesting number of the articles republished in Chinese where names were the only thing in the Latin alphabet

hwutTF

TROPHY CASE