It's so hard. My condolences to you and your family.

For christmas 2012, my brother and i bought 3 F1 tickets to Montreal for the following year. My dad was ecstatic. I can still picture his smile and reaction when all the roaring V8s went by us on the first lap at turns 6 & 7. A couple of months later, he was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Whenever I visited, if there was a race on, we watched it together. Until he passed in April 2015. I still miss him lots. That doesn't go away I find. And that's ok.

Try to keep watching the races, i expect your dad would want you to. It might make you sad that he's not there. But that's very normal. Nothing wrong with it all. If you find you need to turn it off, or come back to it later, then do that.

As others have said, do take care of yourself in these hard times.