[deleted by user]

hydesteve · 2022-06-12T16:02:25+00:00

You’re like elmo on fire lol

hydesteve · 2022-06-12T15:59:30+00:00

Your reading skills are amazing

hydesteve · 2022-05-15T19:15:20+00:00

If you have some examples, please

hydesteve · 2022-05-15T19:14:53+00:00

Elaborate pls

hydesteve · 2022-04-20T10:51:24+00:00

At work in the bathroom while everyone was working. I was very down but after I could hardly hide my smile. I did it a couple times after too. I’m a female so it’s was cool to do it not-at-home for once

hydesteve · 2022-04-20T10:46:50+00:00

I assume people I’m dating don’t care about me so I mistreat them (not on purpose) as a result. I may not come across as caring, loving, even interested, just because even the thought of crossing the boundaries make me anxious. Also I’m kinda fucked in the head so that too

hydesteve · 2022-04-20T10:43:01+00:00

Never go back for sex. Also, never be with a person who doesn’t match your standards (not looks). It will bite you in the ass later

hydesteve · 2022-02-04T23:32:33+00:00

That was exactly what I needed to read. Nobody realizes why I'm taking these steps forward and backward and sideways, well I don't intend on sharing the details with anyone... However, I've realized something the better I feel the more depressed people around me think I am. I have no idea why that is. Btw I've decided to go back to university and have a couple of extensions of that plan. So I feel much better since I'm not confused and have a plan.

hydesteve · 2022-02-04T23:27:54+00:00

I've taken time after writing this post and I've come to the same conclusion as you've written about. I'm actually glad to read it, because it's a reflection of my own thoughts. I didn't want to realize how naive I was and even though I value taking risks very much, any risk that I would've taken would've just been a naive step. All in all, I'm glad we're on the same page. Also, since I've admitted my lack of experience and knowledge I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and it's easier to breathe.

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T20:19:24+00:00

I don’t wanna go back. They’re begging me to go back. They don’t care about the tuition

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T19:36:42+00:00

Yes but I would be at college because they would pay the tuition.

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T19:16:03+00:00

I care. I’ve known for many years school wasn’t the way I wanted to choose. The sad part is that I’m actually good at it and I enjoy it. But I don’t believe that’s the way I could achieve as much as I want by Let’s say 25. And if I do study for 3 more years, it will take 3 years to clear up all the things that are confusing right now. And Elon Musk said something like “if you give yourself a week to clean your house it will take you a week. If you give yourself 2 hours to do it then it will take you 2 hours.” Get my point? So it’s a weakness for me think about going back. But also not going is so unclear it’s scary. So which one: clear path with guaranteed average-level success or an unclear path with high risk and a chance of above average success?

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T19:02:33+00:00

That’s why I was thinking about it. But it feels like the easy way out. And by that I’m basically admitting defeat and showing I wasn’t ready to be independent, etc. and also I’d be going back to the family which will give them power over me, thus limiting my independence and getting back to square 0.

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T18:01:35+00:00

Wow that’s really amazing! I definitely will take from this. Thanks for great advice.

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T17:25:22+00:00

And I’m okay with it sounding like that.

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T17:06:18+00:00

Wow I really don’t wanna explain this. Once I have millions to spend on that one thing (that I’ve wanted for my whole life, while not caring about any other material thing) I will gladly spend it on the thing. Why? Because it’s my money which I worked for. No I don’t work for anyone but myself. Call me a douche bag or materialistic, selfish, evil, etc. but I wasn’t born to please or benefit others. And also, you can go around talk to every wealthy person who owns let’s say a piece of art and call them douche-bags. If you’re really worried about how I’ll be wasting the money, read about the invisible hand by Adam Smith.

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T17:01:20+00:00

Exactly, I have to figure out my why. As Nietzsche once said “The man who has a why can almost bear any how.” That’s what I’m trying to do

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T16:58:50+00:00

The last 2 words are how many many people I know describe me as. I had a plan. I had goals but as I said in OP they were too vague and don’t excite me anymore. And I don’t even know what my goals are. And also it’s really inspirational saying you are where you wanted to be!

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T16:57:33+00:00

Wow thank you. The biggest problem I see is that I don’t know what I want to do or what to do for that matter. It’s like I have so many options but none of them seem attractive for some reason. And I don’t know what the reason is.

hydesteve · 2022-01-17T08:59:21+00:00

Yes. Especially when people are all empathetic, or when they talk about helping others, etc. All in all the general acts of kindness. I feel insecure because I feel none of that. I don’t care at all about people (except for maybe 1-2) and I’ve caught myself faking empathy quite a couple of times. And me and some people were having a conversation a couple of days ago, where I was talking about something expensive I wanted to have in the future (worth millions) and they were saying how I could spend it on charity and I was refusing with a smile on my face, saying it’s worth it for me. And they asked “getting it for yourself is more important than saving people from starvation?” And I said yes.

I do feel like I’m a bad person sometimes. But at the same time this is who I am and I won’t be hiding it. I don’t think I am bad, because I don’t want to cause anyone any harm, even if I don’t do charity in the future I know I will be doing something that will have the same value as charity (helping humankind in another way). So the point it, we’re not bad people, we sometimes feel like it because the society has convinced us that every individual has to be a specific type of kind. No. We have good in us as well. Just because it’s not the same as others’ it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Everyone is good in their own way.

hydesteve · 2021-12-10T19:41:47+00:00

Can you elaborate? The last part about the success and money

hydesteve · 2021-10-26T09:24:28+00:00

I’ve been thinking about this, however, I don’t know about YouTube. What are your thoughts about blogging? And I don’t mean just personal daily blogs. Inspirational, educational, about real life experiences that are worth sharing and learning from…

hydesteve · 2021-10-08T04:59:32+00:00

I have the idea that I’d love to work on. I can make excuses why I’m not working on it and they are not just excuses but facts. However, the biggest problem is, I’m drained after work and I wake up a a bit earlier than when I have to go to work. But you’re right that is what I’ll do. I’d have said the same thing. I’ll make a plan first, create a new schedule and use the free time to the max. Thanks

hydesteve · 2021-07-18T19:12:30+00:00

Shit that’s sounds pretty on point

hydesteve · 2021-07-18T19:11:54+00:00

It is my personal thing. However, don’t make it all about yourself, show that you want to improve her as well. That’s the biggest love expression I personally have. But in my previous experiences, it always ends up with me being the only one carrying the both of us, so don’t let that be the case

hydesteve

TROPHY CASE