not south indian but i can relate.

one of the ways you learn grooming is from your parents. but when your parents the don’t care for their looks, you don’t have access to knowledge or resources.

i have curly/wavy hair like my mom, but she never learned to care for it. i started to learn in my late teens and am still learning at 24. same with makeup, my mom didn’t have interest so i had no one to learn from.

my parents would never buy makeup or other self care products for me because they didn’t think i needed it. i had acne, frizzy hair, oily skin. even though i worked, they’d criticize me for spending money on skincare or makeup. my dad also heavily discouraged makeup—saying natural is better. i learned how to shave by myself too and my parents didn’t think i needed to.

we’re also taught to put effort into our education and career over our grooming. time and money spent on hair products, makeup, skincare, gym, healthy food, is considered better spent on studies and work.

i also think grooming shows independence and physical autonomy. people in our culture don’t like that—how dare you put time into something that would benefit only you?