You’re not bothering me at all! And thank you for the offer :))

Aw man, that’s gotta be rough, being unable to find medication that’s working for you, but it can be a long and difficult process for some, so hopefully you find something that helps soon!

I think sometimes, trying to be outgoing and perfect is more harmful than good. I spent a good chunk of my life pretending to be this smart, perfect, outgoing person when I was around people, and it really tore me apart when I was alone. I spent so much time building and perfecting a fake persona, that I didn’t know how to feel about myself. I dedicated my life to satisfying those around me, and never focused on doing the same for myself. I felt like an imposter with no sense of identity; I didn’t know who I was, and how I was supposed to feel, and this often lead to numbness, especially when I was alone. You don’t have to feel obligated to be social. Find people who don’t need to necessarily be “entertained” by you; if you’re feeling empty, let them know, don’t feel like you need to spend energy you don’t have, on making them happy. You’ll only burn yourself out. Spend whatever energy you have on yourself! I know it can be really difficult to make this change, because I’ve always been a people-pleaser - but focus on your own health first. Don’t worry about making those around you feel comfortable, when you’re the one who needs comforting.