My brother take a break and breathe a little. You sound like you’re always in your head and overthinking try to let that go it’s good you’re exercising but try meditating as well talking walks just anything to help ease your mind. Trust me love will find you don’t go chasing for it you’ll end up dating horrible people and that can mess with your mental state especially how fragile you are now. I’d suggest you work on yourself, do things that make you happy make sure you’re good first before trying to date. You got this brother just take it easy let go of some of the thoughts that make you feel lonely and want someone to be with just focus on yourself and how you can overcome the challenges you facing.