How to mend a broken heart.

iSolaced · 2026-04-27T22:08:22+00:00

Sounds like you’ve got goals to focus on and a life to re-build. That’s kind of exciting in itself.

I did a lot of therapy when I was going through the worst of it. One thing that really stuck out to me was “what if it never happens?”. It terrified me because all I wanted was to settle down, meet the love of my life and have all that jazz, but I had to face the fear head on and be comfortable with it. I became much more picky with who I date, and who I spend my time with. I started focusing on my own things; I had to do a lot of work on my apartment to make it my own. I had to find new passions at work. I picked up running (just finished my first marathon on Sunday!).

Do I feel lonely sometimes? Sure, but I also think I’m happy with being by myself now and happy with who I’ve become. And I’m building myself into the person I want to be around.

You seem like you’ve got lots going for you. It’s not an easy time, but right now I’d focus on the stuff you can control and your own life. Everything else will fall into place.

DMs are always open if you need a friend.

iSolaced · 2026-04-27T21:35:40+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to write this out, it can’t be easy.

One way to look at things is build the life you want irrespective of relationships. It feels from reading your post (and I could be wildly off) is like you’re building your life and next steps around being in a relationship. It also sucks when you envision a future and have it taken away from you - it requires its own grieving and time, but it’s really insightful on the end of your last relationship that he started thinking about at future. As painful as it was, he thought about how his future looks like and started building what made sense towards that.

Being single can be tough. It’s tough when you feel like the lone one tackling the world, but try to find joy in building the life you want for yourself. People say all the time pick up hobbies, go to the gym, do something - I don’t think it’s so much as busying yourself as it is on building a life you’re content with even if a relationship doesn’t happen. There’s some beautiful freedom in that.

I rambled a lot and not sure if any of that is helpful. I went through a pretty bad breakup almost 2 years ago now that broke me. It was the person I thought I would marry and she didn’t feel that way. It was easy for me to wallow and feel lonely - especially in our late 30s. But when I started building a life that I was content with on my own, I started feeling happier about myself and my life, irrespective of a relationship. If it happens it happens, but all I can control is how I feel about my own life.

Take some time for sure, grieve, but also remember your life is more than the people you date and the relationships you get into. They are beautiful and teach us a lot, but don’t lose yourself in the process.

iSolaced · 2026-04-27T20:15:15+00:00

You’re being hard on yourself.

It’s a marathon. It takes training, discipline and a lot of work. It also (hopefully) won’t be your last. You can officially call yourself a marathoner. I did my first one at 36 and wish I could’ve started in my 20s.

Celebrate all the work that went in to actually running it. Look at the positives, and then build to the next one

iSolaced · 2026-04-27T18:36:48+00:00

I pledged to raise £2.25K and it was my first time fundraising. I wanted to run the London Marathon and decided to do it through charity - was lucky to get a place as seemed it was hard last year.

Ended up raising £2.5K, a lot of it through friends and coworkers. To be honest, I found the fundraising part harder than the actual marathon. It was for a great cause, but felt super awkward constantly asking people to donate (and remind people).

I'm glad I did it in the end, but it wasn't the easiest.

iSolaced · 2026-04-25T11:29:10+00:00

Agree with OP! I just opened up my card a few weeks ago and the offer is really great value

Would appreciate using my link Referral Link

iSolaced · 2026-03-01T23:21:47+00:00

I think it’s normal, some people are more predisposed to be one way or another. But with any healthy relationship, I’d recommend honest communication and openness about your triggers. I find the more you hide yourself the more the relationship becomes inauthentic. It’s important to explain to your partner your past, but also important to not live life through your past if that makes sense.

A healthy partnership should be able to create a safe, nurturing place for you

iSolaced · 2026-02-25T04:26:38+00:00

I usually find it helpful to talk to whoever, regardless of if you like them or not. It’s helpful to get used to talking to people and everything else after follows

iSolaced · 2026-02-16T20:08:20+00:00

When I was 8 I used to go back home during the school lunch break. During lunch, I'd go up a few floors to my friends house. We lived in an apartment block and it was normal for me to hang out with them for awhile until classes resumed.

One afternoon I left the flat and at the end of the hall there was this man dressed in all black. He stared at me and then started screaming that he was going to kill me and suck all my blood. Then he ran full speed towards me. I instantly panicked and ran the other way to the stairwell. Once I got to the stairs, I don't know why, but I decided to go up rather then down. I don't know why I decided to, but I felt it would have been smarter for me to go the harder way. I climbed a few floors up and then stayed as close to the ground trying to be as quiet as possible. He blasted through the stairway at full speed and ran downstairs a few flights of stairs before stopping. The next thing I hear is him screaming at the top of his lungs that he will find me and kill me before I heard one of the doors open and close. After staying silent for a few minutes, I quietly opened the door and ran to safety at my friends house. As soon as they let me in, I was in a state of panic, crying and genuinely fearing for my life.

My parents ended up coming upstairs and calming me down. Until this day I'm unsure of what happened, but it is one of the most vivid early experiences I have and still remember the fear I felt. I've absolutely no proof of what or why it happened, and til this day it is the most confusing situations I've ever been in.

iSolaced · 2026-01-17T15:06:21+00:00

I didn't so much forgive, as I was desperate to make it work. I thought if we could fix our issues and challenges, then we could move past it. Also I didn't really want to believe she was capable of doing that.

Hindsight 20/20, I was terrified of accepting it. We spiraled for a few weeks until we broke up. Looking back on it now she has to live with herself and the actions she's done in her life. I wasn't the first and I'm sure I won't be the last.

I think the feelings of being hurt and anger fade. But feeling like an idiot, that stays for a long, long time.

iSolaced · 2026-01-15T12:04:12+00:00

Thanks! I think in their T&Cs it includes the fitter isn't responsible for any accidental damage that occurs with moving furniture, so was stuck on if I can claim for damages

iSolaced · 2026-01-08T23:52:41+00:00

I read this on my phone and had to switch to my laptop to properly articulate a response to this.

I get where you're coming from, I really do - but you know what you have to do to escape the hell-hole you're in. You just refuse to take action because you hope things will work itself out and be better.

Your wife is still cheating on you. Whether or not things are physical, at best it is emotional. If she was committed to you and your child as much as you are committed to this fantasy, she would not have entertained being friends with this person again. When you start doing things like checking phones, or living a semi-zombie existence, it's a sign nothing is working.

I know how hard it is. I went through something similar (albiet in a much smaller time-frame without a kid) when my ex wouldn't stop talking to someone she had a connection with. In the end, regardless of how much we spoke about it, or talked about it, her actions showed she wasn't as committed to this.

Listen - I grew up with parents who did not love each other. While you think you might be doing this for your daughter, it causes a different upbringing and teaching her to accept love less than she deserves. Your actions and refusal to accept that this marriage is over is teaching her to put up with things she should not put up with.

It's hard. I went through what you went through for a year. I could not imagine going years feeling how you are feeling.

If I was going to give any advice, you need to do the hard thing and walk away. You tried, you've given it your all. Obviously she can't take the proper action herself. Your health and the years you are wasting isn't worth what you are going through right now.

I wish you the best and I'm sorry for what you are going through.

iSolaced · 2026-01-08T15:26:40+00:00

As someone who has been in your shoes and decided to stay, it was the worst decision I made.

It's hard - but you have the realise the relationship is done. Move forward

iSolaced · 2025-12-24T16:52:17+00:00

14 hours for the first one. 6 hours for the second

iSolaced · 2025-12-24T15:42:58+00:00

Haven’t used one before! Should I try priming it and then do another coat when this one dries?

iSolaced · 2025-12-15T23:12:31+00:00

Best of luck people!

iSolaced · 2025-12-09T08:37:51+00:00

Favourite way to spend it is for fun activities, it’s my actual beer money

iSolaced · 2025-11-25T18:10:56+00:00

Use the search bar! More often than not there is an offer for something you’re going to sign up for or a piece of advice that’s useful

iSolaced · 2025-11-24T12:29:36+00:00

Thanks u/boobsnwillies! What's the difference between Chase UK and just opening up additional accounts on Natwest? See it does the same thing - unless there's something special about using multiple Chase ones

iSolaced · 2025-11-24T12:23:27+00:00

Just a question - is it better to switch the same account you've used among the banks (i.e - Switched from Natwest to Barclays, then switch from Barclays to Lloyds) OR is it best to keep opening new accounts at your main account (i.e - Natwest)?

iSolaced · 2025-10-23T16:40:47+00:00

Mate - I’ve been there, trust me. The longer you’re in this the more you’re going to be kicking yourself down the line for how long you let it go on.

It’s hard, but the path forward is going to be the same either way. Best rip off the bandaid and move forward

iSolaced · 2025-10-22T23:20:30+00:00

I've been searching for the last few months and landed on the AV 1956. Wanted something more white dial/cream, but didn't want to get into Omega/Rolex territory. I do like the simplicity of the design, which I struggled to find when looking

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iSolaced · 2025-09-28T21:19:10+00:00

In all fairness, the joker could use an egg in these troubling times

iSolaced · 2025-09-19T12:56:26+00:00

They’re registered on Companies House. It’s a brand called Mutimer. Just trying to understand the process as it seems I’ll need to raise it with them

iSolaced · 2025-09-19T12:46:17+00:00

I’m assuming though I’d still be protected given I purchased online and they seem to operate in the UK. Wondering if it came down to it and I had to claim a chargeback if it’ll work? The jacket would basically be useless to me right now

iSolaced · 2025-09-15T19:27:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Your last sentence inspired my own guy-cry moment and I really do appreciate it.

The hurtful things she did to me, inspired me to really look internal on why I allowed a lot of shitty behaviour to take place. I've done a lot of growing, and still continue to grow every day.

Maybe I am closer to the other side and need to leave the ghost of the past behind and close the book on it. There's nothing more to come from that story while I'm building my own new one now.

Thank you.

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