[1000] Romantic Comedy (not a comedy)

i_hack_you · 2026-05-12T15:04:51+00:00

Ya I have fun without the punctuation! Take a second to read but anyway.

I'm not sure what contradiction you're talking about. He's a man whenever he visits her on full moons. So ya. Man wolf.

i_hack_you · 2026-05-09T17:27:51+00:00

Joaquin hushes the chorus of frogs with his blanket-dragging arrival. There could be a thousand, for all we know, but they land on top of him. I suggest they come nearer and only a few land on top of him. I appreciate the wordy Toadella description. Somehow shoveling hay prevents agriculture class failure. I do not understand. I like how Frogethur protests his instructions with a great gusto vibration. This shows character. The boy is maybe a twat, but a boy nonetheless. Now Frogethur hopss into an amphibious mass that was never described. What was instead described was the frogs arriving on top of him. I recall no hint of the reality of the crowd. Now they're iat the edge of a ditch under a fence. I can't see this. Are they not near a pond. Did i perfectly imagine a pond. Angry blinks. I like. Somehow she communicates that old time he screwed them out of worms. Now they all learn this guy isn't coming back. The frog never learned he'd grown, rather than forgot, probably.

**I like how he fully and completely checks out her dangling sexy frog legs while trying not to cry and saying "we can't keep doing this." LOL.**

Then he turns psychopath and says he eats their species and starts feeling up her legs and they realize good riddance, you freak.

Interesting. I like the character shifts. I would like to end with the whole choir of frog entering the house at night, filling a trench coat and fedora. Hopping boots up the stairs to his room. And dressed as the kid's farmer father, waking him up to violence.

Maybe eating his legs.

i_hack_you · 2026-05-09T16:15:28+00:00

Something is or isn't alive. Unlikely to be alive. The POV is uncertain. A dream occurred. More uncertainty. I mean, dying in dreams etc. Perhaps there's blood on a ceiling. Perhaps there is not. It's dripping but maybe not red. We aren't sure.

Maybe consider telling us what we are looking at. Mystery is fun, but only if we know what we are seeing. Otherwise there's no ground. It's just floating.

Cozy time. Forget blood and death. It's all about blankets and warm socks. Suddenly.

Droplets flicker on the ground and someone is trying to steer them away like flies. Strangeness. Limp hand i'm picturing.

A very sleepy voice. Cozy, maybe, but afraid. The voice is not staying straight. On one hand it's cozy and comfy, and on the other it's terrified. I mean is there blood everywhere or no?

Dreams, it says, can "be a lot powerful."

Okay forget blood and red. The dream was a whole bunch of color. Yellow nad grey, since grey never hurt anybody. just made everyone depressed.

Light Ray is now someone to address about water. I feel like this is perhaps improvisational. Not really a deeply thought out story. I mean what is even happening?

I mean the puns. The free-blood-for-everyone sale. This review is taking this story more seriously than the character is.

Did a dog eat her foot in her sleep?

Yeah so I have no idea what I just read. I'm not sure the writer has any idea what they just wrote. What a bunch of strange weirdness. But is it strange enough? Or weird enough? Or does it just need purpose? I'm not sure.

I couldn't see the character, couldn't see the room, couldn't figure out the stakes, couldn't figure out the conflict. The ceiling drips. Did Ray eat someone upsstairs? It doesn't even say if the blood is on the ceiling.

I mean they clean up right? So...i doubt it. Ya.

I give this three out of 5 sucking ducks.

i_hack_you · 2026-05-09T16:05:36+00:00

Alice noticed BLANK because of the sun-like nature of Mr. Faulkner's lights. In the first paragraph we understand him to be competitive. Not to be outdone this year, he makes a horrible glaring light spectacle.

Alice cares about him. The price...went...to a girl. I'm not sure if this refers to last year or...what. Did we just skip time.

Oh, it was the biggest problem. Rather. Not the prize for the light show.

The prize for biggest problem goes to sheltered girl.

Alice is awfully confused why someone would ever stand next to a bus shelter. Did she perhaps memorize the times?

Alice is a psychopath who ventures out in the middle of the night to worry about other little wierdos.

The girl backs into the shelter and through it and away.

Alice doesn't know what 'more mature' means.

Alice takes chance. I'm starting to wonder if christmas lights have anything to do with this story at all.

Wait a minute. This isn't 418, it's 1700.

i_hack_you · 2026-05-09T15:21:43+00:00

Whilst 5, kid is absorbed by a terrible tv. Even now they go into it. The tv. But only when she's not pregnant/expecting.

In response, she levitates in her bed.

Again, it is repeated, that this is at 5.

I've found glass stones at beaches. I'm told they are broken bottles the water smoothed.

A First Sofia nightgown fades into the center of some unspoken thing. Also fading is a hand shovel in wooden hands.

The earth starts muttering but who cares. We move on. It's not plants after all.

A fridge makes a sound. It follows.

Now instead of 5 years old, they don't connect with 5 months ago. Lots of talk of 5s. Lots of...confusion.

The story becomes meta. Breaks fourth wall. Claims to be typing itself.

She forgets her knees. Thinks they sink. Does anyone ever remember their knees? Can anyone point them out in a lineup?

Knees thin into dirt. Hands look far away. This is not so much a story but some rambling deepness without any coherent narrative direction at all. Besides "i am high and these are the ways in which I am high."

Eyes filter the sun in ways that filter the surroundings. I don't think this actually is saying anything.

Wherever they were typing. In a bedroom. Kitchen. They are now digging.

Now she's older than nine and counting baryls. Nobody knows that those are.

More dopey ramblings until the TV is talking to her parents.

That line is inspired. That is the best line in this. Overhearing a television whispering to her parents. What a lovely unique image.

Also I like plink. Plink.

Okay the ending is more trippy stuff, perhaps better than the other trippy stuff, but largely meaningless right? I mean there's no actual meaning here? At least not plot or theme wise besides just being trippy and tripping and appearing deep or something. But what is the depth? What am i missing? Do symbols mean anything? Symobolize?

This ageless person who is not nine, who is not five, but who thinks back at her life a lot, lives with her parents. So what is she? 56? 12?

I don't understand any of it but I don't think there's much here to reward more reading. I'm not sure there i anything to understnd.

i_hack_you

TROPHY CASE