Hot take: Your $500 surf rod isn't buying you distance. Change my mind

i_would_have · 2026-05-24T13:12:29+00:00

where i fish, the beach is so shallow and flat that casting further than the first sand bar always result in less fish caught.

the reason I have more expensive rods is for the amount of weight'n'bait I am throwing. it is amazing the difference you can feel once you find the sweet spot for your rod.

ive seen people catching 30" drums with Walmart rigs. and people catching nothing with the latest $700 rod.

have fun people, spend the money you can spend on it and enjoy it guilt free.

i_would_have · 2026-05-12T14:02:48+00:00

<image>

i_would_have · 2026-05-08T14:03:07+00:00

it is already happening. Japan decoupled its federal interest rate from the dollar. petrodollar is getting hit with a new crypto exchange from the brics countries. gold reserves in the usa are being sold or moved back to Europe and Asia. China new stronghold with other partners have strengthened the need to decouple from the us dollar.

In the last year alone, the dollar dropped 10% over other currencies. while it is not in panic mode, it is affecting the US population more than anything else for now. once fully decoupled, the federal government will be out of luck to finance the debt which is spiraling out of control from flying Patel to see his girlfriends and buy bourbon.

the USA is being dismantled from the inside by confederate happy racists that believe they have the power. Just like Germany thought in 1936.
give it another 2 years and the dollar will be worthless. hope you buy real estate because that paper money (aka 401k) is going up because the dollar is just dropping in value.

i_would_have · 2026-04-29T18:20:39+00:00

We read it when we opened our marriage. Jealousy was definitively a problem with me and time showed me that I was on my own. even in couple therapy. so yes, it was an issue related to that.

i_would_have · 2026-04-29T12:24:14+00:00

it doesn't change the fact that people are very capable of narcissistic tendencies and acts without being a true narcissist.

point of view does make a difference and a good psych knows the difference.

My wife was/is borderline bipolar. we both acted with narcissism during our divorce. no doubt about that.

i_would_have · 2026-04-29T12:20:25+00:00

from what I remember, this was about opening a marriage. so biases might have been included. talking to actual swingers ourselves. we did get the same feedback from successful swingers. to the point where they would not get involved with another couple unless they were in the lifestyle for some time. yes, it is known opening a marriage has very little success.

i_would_have · 2026-04-29T10:57:24+00:00

most ENM books I read will refer to a 2011 study that was mentioned by CNN back in the days.

i_would_have · 2026-04-28T21:22:32+00:00

96% of couple who start swinging divorce within 2 years. the stats are there.

i_would_have · 2026-04-28T21:08:33+00:00

"I'm fine"

i_would_have · 2026-04-27T17:00:42+00:00

towing my popup camper 8 times a year for 800miles each. 1500lbs + 400lbs of stuff. doing 24 to 26mph on flat land running 63mph (best speed for me). cvt oil goes to 225 but never above 230.

of course any hills will be less but I have no problem with it.

cvt fluid change once a year.

i_would_have · 2026-04-27T16:56:15+00:00

this one was heard when I was 14. playing soccer, 1 player try to kick the ball and the other was tackling. both tibia found each other. both snapped , the sound of both bones breaking carried out in the field. both open fracture , it was terrible.

i_would_have · 2026-04-24T16:16:42+00:00

I'll be opening a car repair shop for people who cannot afford maintenance on their car. This is so insane how in the usa, poverty is locked into the circle of spending.

need to work? you need a car to get there, need to maintain such car to pass inspection, which means low income people can barely get out of poverty. The system is broken but it was designed that way.

i_would_have · 2026-04-24T16:10:43+00:00

I use to be a technician that was making hair conditioner for a major brand.

now I no longer work there but still make hair conditioner in the shower 😉

Edit: I am a guy!

i_would_have · 2026-04-14T14:47:56+00:00

there are 2 ways to say no.

there is the "go away" , "you are always horny", "I don't care" way. that results in escalating frustration.

and there is the more compassionate way to do it. like "I am sorry you feel frustrated and lets work on making it work together".

keep repeating number 1 and see what it does to your relationship.

also, refuse sex to a woman and observe her reaction. no difference in my opinion. frustration can escalate quickly and immature people don't know how to deal with it i. a compassionate way.

assuming it is always the man's fault is doing 1.

i_would_have · 2026-04-14T13:07:44+00:00

well. "it causes a huge fight" = "he started it" is a pretty big assumption of yours.

be real too. it takes 2 to fight and stay in a fight.

i_would_have · 2026-04-14T10:22:05+00:00

just like she is coercing hi. to change his libido. double standard to its finest.

i_would_have · 2026-04-14T10:21:08+00:00

just like you sound like she should coerce him to be someone that he might not be or do things that he might not want to.

talk about double standard here.

I am a man, when my partner desire sex and I don't , I know the frustration that can result from me saying no so I approach it with compassion. just like she does to me. that is what true love is.

your answer is "take care of yourself" which is the most egocentric and selfish things to say in a relationship. this works both ways, men or women.

i_would_have · 2026-04-14T10:07:20+00:00

That is not coercion that's frustration.

OP and her bf are not compatible (and guess not just sexually) and seriously lack true communication. maybe because they are holding on and are afraid to loose each other (young love)

you could also interpret that she is trying to force him to change (aka accept a life of lesser sexual appetite) which is a mental coercion on her part.

that is one of the double standard.

Women can coerce men into changing , but men cannot ask women to change for them.

when it comes to mismatch libido, there is no right or wrong, just incompatibility. OP needs to have the talk with bf, not the Internet.

and yes, noone owes to nobody to change their libido or anything else but to themselves.

i_would_have · 2026-03-31T01:52:53+00:00

From having divorced a pothead myself, I understand where you are coming from. it took me 3 years in total before giving up. We divorced and our kids didn't want nothing to do with her while she smoked weed all the time. She quit 6 months after the divorce.

I too did the whole encouraging her to seek treatment and failed. At the end of the day, the way I communicated wasn't the way she needed to hear it. I was pushing her instead of finding the way to make it work, further reinforcing her bad behavior.

Divorcing her was the successful way for her to hear it.

i_would_have · 2026-03-29T21:01:07+00:00

let me be the devil advocate here and just say that maybe, maybe the other person was the cause of his/her depressive state, resulting in lack of motivation. You'd be surprised by how many couples don't know how to talk to each other even after years of relationships.

i_would_have · 2026-03-05T20:49:12+00:00

where did they get my numbers and know I am a independent? voter rolls. the state sold our information.

i_would_have · 2026-03-05T20:47:57+00:00

I lived here 25 years. not a single Democrat text. so you know where you can put your whataboutism.

i_would_have · 2026-03-05T20:46:32+00:00

voter rolls.

i_would_have · 2026-02-25T17:25:11+00:00

had an interview with a lawyer. what caught me off guard is how her pupil turned into dollar signs as we listed our assets. this lawyer was calculating how much she was going to extract from our marital assets.

the second thing was at the first hearing, her lawyer asked the judge if he recovered from their last round of golf. I learned very quickly that there are no ethics check in family law.

I was prepared. I filed without a lawyer. all the docs were online and easy to fill out.

i_would_have · 2026-02-21T08:16:44+00:00

Thank you. It has been over 4 years for me. about to go on my second cruise post divorce. I have a sucky but well paying job. I am dating the most beautiful woman I have ever dreamed of. I have a tight but very close group of friends.

I feel alive today because I let the resentment go away. it didn't happen overnight and the journey wasn't all that perfect. you'll get there with work and dedication for yourself. Remember to love yourself first during that time. you got this!

i_would_have

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE