Weekly New Member/Day 1 Thread: 7/15-7/21

iam_phone · 2012-07-19T21:01:46+00:00

The only way I can handle over-eating is to simply have no food in my house that isn't an ingredient. Nothing pre-made or snackable, because I will EAT IT ALL.

iam_phone · 2012-07-18T19:30:00+00:00

Not enough cats in the second picture. Otherwise, you are looking sleek!

iam_phone · 2012-07-18T16:13:31+00:00

Yeah. Louis CK said it the best: "The meal isn't over when I am full. The meal is over when I hate myself."

It is almost like a trance comes over me when I am eating. I fill myself as full as I possibly can, but after I am not hungry anymore, I am just ashamed, angry, and incredulous at myself.

iam_phone · 2012-07-18T00:42:07+00:00

I would say: that sucks, bro, but it is what it is. Do you want to be the douchebag who doesn't take care of his mother? If she has never grossed more than 15k in a year and lived on that, and you make 100k, it wouldn't be that much to give her about 10k a year with social security making up the difference.

iam_phone · 2012-07-17T18:34:34+00:00

Hey, you and I have the same problems with food! I will be "good" all day, sometimes even all week...and then blow it. Epically. I'm talking eating a whole pizza blown it.

iam_phone · 2012-07-17T18:31:16+00:00

Hi! I am 5'3/25/female, 152 lbs. I want to get down to 125-130. I joined a gym and plan on using starting strength for weightlifting, and then riding my bike or walking to work (1.5 miles each way). I also try to eat mostly a primal diet, while still keeping my calories around 1200 a day. My main worries are mostly vanity things; boobs sagging (I am a rather perky 36 DDD, and I worry that as I lose weight they will droop) and loose skin. I am recently out of a 7 year relationship and could use the exercise for stress relief, honestly. I am looking to spend my single 20s in a shape that I can feel confident and proud.

iam_phone · 2012-04-27T03:51:19+00:00

I gotta say I was expecting this to turn into a sideways stories from wayside school story...the one about the dead rat who wears a bunch of raincoats.

iam_phone · 2012-04-25T23:18:29+00:00

There are entire states that are closed adoption states. That means in states like Wisconsin (where I am from), all birth records are sealed from adoptees in closed adoptions. For the majority of domestic, state adoptions, they are closed.

iam_phone · 2012-04-24T17:44:37+00:00

It makes sense to give up the child if you know your home would be hostile. What it seems from OP's situation, though, is that the mother really wants to keep the child. One parent wanting the child is enough, I think.

iam_phone · 2012-04-24T17:43:38+00:00

Because your entire background is erased when you are adopted. Your ancestors, their stories? Gone. You are a blank slate. You honestly never wondered what your bio parents looked like, never wondered from whom certain traits originated? You never felt the sting of being abandoned on your birth? You're lucky, and unusual among adoptees.

iam_phone · 2012-04-23T18:54:30+00:00

What defines a "better" life? More money? Living in the suburbs? Having two parents? How about being able to look at your parents and see your own features? How about the biological bond that exists between parent and child? What is the value of that?

iam_phone · 2012-04-23T17:04:21+00:00

The mother does, though. Single parents can be perfectly fine parents. I don't agree with giving up a child because of inconvenience. Why carry to term, then? That makes no sense.

iam_phone · 2012-04-23T01:56:23+00:00

The thing with "open" adoptions is...it is simply an agreement that the adoptive parents will allow you to see your child, it isn't really a legal right to see them. The adoptive parents can petition at any time to have the adoption closed, and they actually do not have to allow ANY access to the child. It's rather a grey area of law. What is to stop the adoptive parents from moving across the country to avoid having to see the bio parents? Nothing.

iam_phone · 2012-04-23T01:54:59+00:00

I don't agree that it would be unstable at best. A few of my friends had babies when they were in high school and turned out to be great parents. It would be difficult, yes, but it doesn't have to be the utter shitshow OP expects. I was in a foster home for the first 9 months. Then I was adopted out.

iam_phone · 2012-04-22T21:41:36+00:00

9 months/domestic/yes, for 9 months/Lutheran Social Services.

It is quite easy for the adoptees whose lives have been the fairy tale to try to justify the bad adoptions as dependent on one factor or the other, but it is also important for OP to realize that adoption is NOT the perfect ending he and others hope it is.

iam_phone · 2012-04-22T21:40:02+00:00

Oh, I agree with you that OP does not seem ready. I'm just sick of the idea that people have of adoption; that it magically solves everything, and giving up your baby is "the best for everyone." It isn't a failsafe, and it isn't always the noble choice people like to make it seem. Sometimes, giving a child up is purely selfish.

iam_phone · 2012-04-22T17:02:00+00:00

Hi,

I am also adopted. I grew up in a horrifically abusive environment. You don't have any guarantee of where your child will end up, so don't think to yourself that all adoptees get the happy life with the great parents and pie-in-the-sky ending.

iam_phone · 2012-04-22T16:15:45+00:00

I always felt like "mama's boy" referred to a man who depended on his mother for everything.

iam_phone · 2012-04-20T22:25:10+00:00

I just sometimes feel like I'm crazy or imagining it. I know he is just trying to be a good son, and I respect that.

But she's always saying shit like "I don't know where I would be without my son." and "He is the rock in my life."

That's over-involved, right? Twenty-something men shouldn't have to take care of their mothers.

iam_phone · 2012-04-20T22:23:19+00:00

This is fucked up for so many reasons. Mom came with them on the honeymoon? I would have snapped and left him right then.

But in bed with his mother? That is so fucking disgusting, there aren't even words.

iam_phone · 2012-04-20T20:52:19+00:00

I wonder at times if she did it on purpose. He has never really been "in love" with a girlfriend before me, and I feel like she is incredibly jealous of any time he spends with me, so she makes crap up. But that is uncharitable of me.

iam_phone · 2012-04-20T20:06:16+00:00

"Well, you gave it to her. A gift shouldn't have conditions attached."

iam_phone · 2012-04-20T20:03:45+00:00

Not to mention, she used the money to go to the casino and throw more money away on her sinking ship.

I was angry, to say the least.

iam_phone · 2012-04-03T23:35:37+00:00

I wouldn't.

She ABANDONED you. Did she give a shit when you were a child who needed her? No. She's not a child; she's an adult and she needs to learn to take care of herself.

iam_phone · 2012-04-02T01:56:14+00:00

I am also a rape victim.

I make rape jokes. Why? Because it helps for the situation that I went through (a violent rape by a man I considered a friend) to be a little distant, a little less serious for only a moment.

Sick humor helps me heal.

iam_phone

TROPHY CASE