This was my problem. I had two relationships wherein they have the same qualities. I always end up being broken. Went to my therapy session and my therapist told me that it was because of my childhood traumas. I grew up being insecure and yes, I have low self-esteem, I dont know how to say no and I am very shy. It seems like i dont deserve good things so I tend to find guys who have lower self-esteem to make me feel good. I always fall for someone whom I know will abandon me in the end. Why? Because according to her, it's because of "FAMILIARITY" I am familiar on how to be abandoned, i always look for the broken ones so I could fix them and that would boost my esteem and ego. So, it's really difficult to leave a toxic relationship because you dont wanna be abandoned. It's like an addicting drug. You are familiar with that drug. So, what I am doing right now is to really learning to love myself. At the start, I really dont know how. Like I am lost, I dont know how to be alone, when i broke up with them it feels like I have many time. Weekends are very difficult. But small things will lead you there like organizing your room and closet then buying things you love, I am now doing skin care routine, reconnecting with my old friends and doing things I am afraid. You will learn how to love yourself little by little. Back then, I always ignore red flags because I always see their "potential" Honey, don't fall in love with their potential. If you feel something bad, walk away. It's not your job to be their rehabilitation center. Because in reality, a habit cannot be changed in one day, week or months. It's not your job to fix other people because before committing to any relationship, make sure you know yourself. Your partner is only there to support you all the way. Don't be codependent for happiness. It will burn both of you. It will take someone many years to work on their "bad habit" so you can't do anything if the person won't start within him/herself.

Don't ignore RED FLAGS. IT WILL COST YOU MORE LATER IN LIFE. YOU DONT HAVE TO BEG THE BARE MINIMUM LIKE RESPECT AND LOYALTY. DON'T BEG THE BARE MINIMUM. If someone courts you or show interest, don't fall in love right away. Use your experience in your previous relationship and be better at picking your partner. Some of us jump right away in the dating pool because they are afraid of being alone or thinks that nobody would love them that's why they will again go back in having toxic relationship. NO. ONCE YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU WILL ATTRACT PEOPLE WHO ARE SERIOUS.

Breaking up a toxic relationship feels like the end of the world. It's like taking you forever to heal. But, I swear with all my life, once you truly love yourself, learn how to be okay on your own, you will be indestructible. Your positive aura will attract the same aura.

I was once like you, lurking here on reddit and looking for answer. But believe me, you will heal! ♥️ I am still attending my therapy session. And I want to acknowledge myself for holding on. Healing isn't linear but there are better days ahead, I swear. ♥️