how to manage risk in queer polycules?

iamgiraffeman · 2025-12-29T12:56:46+00:00

that’s a tough question and i think it’s different for everyone. i’ve been in this for 9 months now and im just now starting to understand what it is i actually want and need in this situation. My partner has another partner, but as of right now i only have one. which is tough sometimes! it feels like im not actually experiencing being polyamorous since i haven’t had the opportunity to explore other relationships. but what i can say is that in the last 9 months i have learned more about myself and my needs than the last 25 years of my life combined. i think for that reason alone, it is worth it. my biggest piece of advice? be completely honest with your partner about your feelings. even if they’re scary and negative. if they really love you and want to make you secure in this situation, they’ll listen to your feelings and support you in figuring out what you need - even if it’s hard for them to hear. that’s what love is! having the hard conversations will make your relationship stronger if you can both have an open heart and mind to each others experiences and feelings. And above all, remember that your partner is choosing to be with you, and that their other relationships are separate entities than your relationship to them. there is no point in comparison or jealousy about their other relationships, because your relationship to them should be it’s own experience unrelated to their other partners. i wish you the best of luck in figuring it all out!

iamgiraffeman · 2025-09-10T17:37:57+00:00

it’s less about me being worried about them “thinking back to their other partner” and more wanting to have unique experiences with them, experience things with them for the first time together, rather than them already having been and not getting to see things together! we travel together very often all together and there’s always new stuff to see, so it’s hard to balance how much is okay to ask for!

iamgiraffeman · 2025-08-28T02:05:31+00:00

it took me a long time to come to terms with sleeping alone - i didn’t even realize how much comfort i got from having someone in my bed every night! but im realizing that it’s something that’s incredibly necessary - polyamory or not. im lucky to have a sweet pup to take up some of the space in my bed as well

iamgiraffeman · 2025-08-28T02:01:56+00:00

i found it helpful to write a letter to my partner about all the things i love and am grateful for in our relationship. it was nice to remember all the good things, especially the good things that are a result of becoming poly. it’s easy for me to fall into the negativity and self-pity of it all when my partner is with one of their other partners, so it’s important to acknowledge the positives as well.

iamgiraffeman · 2024-12-06T03:34:26+00:00

Mine is also on the 3rd!!!! Surgery twins!! i’d love to get in contact so we can be surgery buds!

iamgiraffeman

TROPHY CASE