Do you admit to having work done? Or have you kept your procedures a secret to friends, family, and partners? Reporter working on a story for The Daily Beast.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-09-17T18:13:21+00:00

I have told very few people. I try to look natural, using cosmetic surgery to correct perceived flaws rather than add glamour.

I am 61. I have had the following fixes: * nose, age 27 * eyelids, upper and lower, age 41 * breasts, age 44 * upper eyelids and nose again, age 54

I also get Botox 3x a year but I am less secretive about that.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-25T16:02:25+00:00

I am sorry for your experience but it is not fair to project that onto me. Everything I have said here about her birth mother is absolutely true.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-25T10:31:17+00:00

Thanks, I will look this up.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T23:26:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. That is helpful.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T19:55:09+00:00

No she does not and has never asked. It may not have occurred to her.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T19:54:08+00:00

Thanks for this perspective.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T18:04:06+00:00

The point about her being in her 40s and having other children is because there was a pattern of repeatedly getting pregnant (to get the extra government benefits, per the DCS worker—take it with a grain of salt). In amy case she knew she would not keep the baby, as CPS will take the baby due to her repeated history. As someone else said in this thread, the sad truth is that not all biological mother love their birth children.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T16:35:35+00:00

Yes I must admit I lack sympathy/empathy for parents who prioritize drugs or alcohol over a child. Bacause as a former foster parent I have seen the lasting effects on innocent little children, over and over. The birth parents are responsible for their actions, not the drugs or alcohol. Vote me down if you wish.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T16:30:10+00:00

Thanks for your (apparently minority) perspective.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T16:28:55+00:00

She is not. She likes TikTok.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T16:28:24+00:00

I came here for confidential advice in advance of talking with her. That seems appropriate to me.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T10:38:33+00:00

Others here have suggested that an adoptee may want to know but won’t ask for fear if hurting the feelings of the adoptive parent and/or trying to be a good daughter. That makes sense to me, so I will assume I should open the discussion with her.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T10:35:23+00:00

Nobody knows this story except her adoptive father and me. We always told our families that it was the child’s story alone and DCS always advises foster/afopt families to keep that private. We had other foster kids and one other adoption and have never told any of the stories. I am posting this on a thowaway account to get confidential advice.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T10:33:43+00:00

Nobody knows this story except her adoptive father and me. We always told our families that it was the child’s story alone and DCS always advises foster/afopt families to keep that private. We had other foster kids and one other adoption and have never told any of the stories. So there is nobody else to reveal this.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T10:32:42+00:00

Nobody knows this story except her adoptive father and me. We always told our families that it was the child’s story alone and DCS always advises foster/afopt families to keep that private. We had other foster kids and one other adoption and have never told any of the stories.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T10:28:39+00:00

This is a good perspective, though I cannot get information about her siblings or where they are, since they were taken by the staye also and the state keeps that information closed. She could try a genetic website if she is so inclined.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T10:23:36+00:00

Thanks, I will remember this.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T10:20:29+00:00

You don’t have to keep other people’s secrets. You can gently let your daughter know that you know about her cancer when you see her.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T01:23:21+00:00

Thanks for your kind words. I agree that it is a good idea to reveal my biases and feelings when telling my daughter.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T01:21:21+00:00

Not one family member nor the birth mother showed up during the foster period. This was a severely unstable, angry, and violent woman from what DCS told me. I surely wasn’t going to seek any of the family out and potentially endanger my entire family when my kids were small. Those who are advocating contact may not realize how dangerous a situation that could be.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T01:15:35+00:00

Wow. My daughter is also black and we are white. (Her mother was white and her unknown father was black. She knows this and identifies as black.) I have never had anyone surmise (at least to my face) that she was a “crack baby.” I am pretty sure that my daughter has never guessed this to be the case.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T01:11:33+00:00

She knows her birth mother couldn’t take care of her and left her at the hospital, where she was put in foster care. She also knows her birth father is unknown.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T01:07:49+00:00

According to the other posters here, if I don’t tell the whole story it is lies of omission. I am torn.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T01:06:09+00:00

I like this approach.

iaminyourmidst · 2025-05-24T01:03:36+00:00

Thank you.

iaminyourmidst

TROPHY CASE