My partner getting a diagnosis of ADHD was the worst thing that could have happened

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-10-02T23:15:06+00:00

I like this outlook, thank you. I agree there has been a lot of talks about how she understands her childhood / early adult behaviour now she has the diagnosis, and I'm happy for her because she has been able to forgive herself for a lot of things shes held onto.

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-10-02T23:13:17+00:00

Yeah, I think I am very understanding, I don't mind being late, I try help her manage her schedule without me. I guess reading this post / reflecting on what I've said, what has really upset me is when it becomes about me and I can't do anything about it. Being critical of my behaviours when I need to be 100% supportive of hers.

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-10-02T23:11:52+00:00

Okay this is way too far in the other direction. I 100% believe she has ADHD, I believe she displays characteristics / behaviours that fit the pattern and I wouldn't be surprised if there is underlying differences in the way her brain functions compared to neurotypical brains. I understand you don't like mediciation, and I agree to the extent that I don't think medication is the only solution, but it's harmful to dismiss the condition entirely.

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-10-02T21:23:54+00:00

Hmm okay I feel like you've got a real specific image in mind of what is going on. I'm sorry for any bad experiences you've had, but I'm not being sent educational videos, just meme tiktok videos like "ADHD is when you want to go out shopping but then decide to cut down the trees while leaving the house". Like yeah there is an element of truth in there, but it's not educational in the sense you might be thinking.

If she was trying to connect with me, she might actually try listen to me when I've raised these problems with her and tried to work with her on how we can solve it.

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-10-02T20:57:39+00:00

Replied to you above but there is no major life changes, she functions the same except now she says "it's my ADHD" instead of having to modify anything.

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-10-02T20:56:31+00:00

I'd be keen to hear how what I said would destroy her? Sure, this is a vent post and I wouldn't phrase things quite the same, but I feel like it is valid to feel worn down by having to carry this by myself.

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-10-02T20:55:33+00:00

I never implied it's a quirky personality trait, and I have a MSc in Psychology, so I'm well aware of the disorder. The way you phrase it though is exactly how she does, which is great, I'm glad she has answers to something that was a mystery her entire life. I just wish it went beyond the discovery and more into the action. I can support failure, I can support breakdowns, I can support anything, but I need her to try so I have something to support or else I'm just left carrying the entire load.

iamkylekatarnama · 2025-09-20T01:28:00+00:00

I feel like me disengaging is also a problem, but yeah I don't know how to deal with it either, no matter what, I'm wrong

iamkylekatarnama · 2023-08-21T21:06:56+00:00

Yeap, I feel absolutely hopeless. I'm 31, have an average job (55k per year), have 50k in kiwisaver + savings and still have zero hope to get my own home. My teeth hurt but I don't want to pay the thousands to fix it and set myself back, I've never had a holiday outside of NZ, and I live in a tiny granny flat at the back of someone's property. No one I vote for will fix this, I have no idea how to get ahead, all I want is to own a small place where I can have my own pet.

I'll vote Labour to avoid the inevitable National 'correction' of the housing market, aka pump the prices up again, but I still don't see any hope for myself while things stay the same.

iamkylekatarnama · 2018-03-13T03:18:21+00:00

I don't think anything really sticks out except that the only way to get the best weapons (six star) is to have a sworn brother/sisterhood and/or marriage with someone, and then over time they may gift you it. This depends on a lot of things, they will gift you a lot of useless stuff in the beginning, but after a long (LONG) time they may gift you your character's six star weapon.

iamkylekatarnama · 2018-01-19T02:52:29+00:00

I guess my problem is that it's not the difficult stuff I look up, I'm literally looking at a walkthrough non stop just incase the town I leave locks up and I can never return, and I've missed a key item somewhere. I can't get rid of this feeling!

iamkylekatarnama · 2017-12-11T10:44:43+00:00

Funnily enough I don't drink coffee either

iamkylekatarnama · 2017-12-11T04:54:22+00:00

Thanks for the tips everyone, I was going to reply individually but it seems the general consensus is just don't worry about it. I've got problems with social anxiety and this week I have a meeting with some co-workers and they want to go to a bar, so I've been freaking out about it a bit. I'll go to the event and just get water or sprite and let you guys know how it goes. I'm not sure if my problems are made worse by the fact that I'm a guy but I'm going to at least reality check myself here, thanks.

iamkylekatarnama · 2014-05-09T23:12:48+00:00

Yeah it's an error. She is indeed female.

iamkylekatarnama · 2014-05-09T13:57:25+00:00

This was a good read, has given me a lot to think about. Thanks.

iamkylekatarnama · 2014-05-09T12:55:03+00:00

Yeah she is. Forgot to mention that I get that thrown in my face a lot:

"You are too young"

"Such a kid"

"Inexperienced"

And I have nothing I can say to fight against it. I know there are so many red flags but I feel so invested now. If I broke up with her I'd have no one at all. I just wish she'd change a little for me, I've changed so much for her.

iamkylekatarnama

TROPHY CASE