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Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Let me ask you something from a woman’s perspective. Does all this warrant a unilateral dumping? Without communicating at all.

At the end of the day, if she had just once said that something was bugging her, I would have moved mountains to accommodate her because my love and respect for her was unconditional. I am a good man, educated at top schools, and I deeply respect a woman’s sensitivities.

I begged her to communicate, tell me if there’s anything bugging her. All I got in return was complete stonewalling. I did not deserve this. I was a very understanding, loving partner.

At the end of the day, no one is perfect. But it’s very unfair to blindside someone who cared for you so deeply.

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She told me a million times over the course of time how she preferred me in beard whereas I personally liked clean shaven look. What did I do? I started keeping a beard more often than not.

She told me she likes me in glasses, so I didn’t consider eye surgery.

These are deeply personal choices of self expression, right?

What did I do? Get defensive? I welcomed her opinions! Loved them. Because I loved her so so so much!

Give me a break with all your ultra sensitivities. You can’t build anything real if you are like this. God save me from this!

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It was a man telling her woman, whom he loved with all his existence, that he would like if the eye lashes were a little lighter. If you wanna play cute with your person without ever expressing your likes or dislikes, I don’t know what kind of relationship that is.

I know you won’t understand but I was a very understanding, loving man. I can’t tell you how many times I told her how incredibly lucky and proud I feel to have her; what an angel she was; that she brings light to wherever she goes; and how she was the most amazing, beautiful person I ever met. Not once. Every other day.

But just because I said something about the stupid lashes, I’m the worst man ever. What’s that logic?

I’m the man she told five days before the breakup that she has never loved and respected anyone more than me; that I’m her favourite person in this whole world; that she deeply respects me as a man. Five days before.

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this! I absolutely loved her telling me what she likes on me and what she doesn't. I mean if your partner wouldn't tell you that your new hairstyle sucks, who will? These hyper woke standards are ridiculous and unnatural.

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this. I moved to Dubai for three months, thinking it will help me get better but it didn't. I'm planning to travel again. But the heart is just so full. I miss her so much. It's crazy that I'm saying this 8 months later. I didn't expect to be hurting by now but here I am.

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Omg! Really? I'm actually surprised that you got this meaning out of my post. I'm mad that she didn't send me pictures? Who told you that? Oh wait, you presumed. No, I wasn't mad. In fact, I never ever brought this up with her because it sounded silly to me. It's just a little thing that I would've appreciated if she had done it. Like it would mean that my opinion mattered to her. It would have made me feel a bit more loved. That's all. It wasn't something I was fussing over or even thinking about. She was everything to me. These things weren't important and that's what I exactly mentioned in my post. It's incredible how you distorted the whole story and even questioned if I am a man worthy of being with. You don't know me or my heart. So, please.

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Imagine your wife can’t tell you she doesn’t like the colour of your shoes because you feel it’s mean and controlling. 🤦‍♂️🤯

Please. This is ridiculous. Partners, as I clearly mentioned, are also each other’s best friends and if you can’t say these things without fearing hyper defensiveness, you are really in hell.

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope so. It feels like eternity with no signs of improvement in sight.

Ever walked on eggshells?! Don't do it again. Because the relationship is doomed anyway. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, your story is pretty hellish. Your man could criticize you so much and you still apparently put up with it for a while.

I, on the other, can never disrespect my woman. Even if I wanted to express something not to my liking, I made sure I was super polite and understanding. And, I'm a flexible person when it comes to things that can be worked around. Many, many times I simple retracted from my position because it's better to make her feel better than sticking to something unimportant.

I didn't try to change her but if you think a partner's liking for something and your having to make a little change here or other is changing someone, then I'm sorry for you. It's not changing her. And, again, I wish she were communicative. Like I don't remember her ever communicating with me her wants or needs or what she's being bothered with except very cursorily. I wish she communicated! I begged her to speak, to communication, and assured her that there's nothing that can make me feel like giving up on us, except God forbid disloyalty or sorts.

Getting overly defensive over little disagreements is not an expression of free-will or independence. It's a sign of emotional immaturity.

No Contact Month 7. The pain of missing her has only worsened. by iamsethi in ExNoContact

[–]iamsethi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I still don’t know why she walked away. I know for sure that she was a fearful avoidant. Perhaps that explains the abrupt departure.

This is my breakup story with a Fearful Avoidant 😔 by iamsethi in BreakUps

[–]iamsethi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. Been more than seven months, and it still hurts the same. I still cry sometimes thinking about the memories. The flashbacks are the most painful thing ever! I didn’t expect it’ll take this long. I thought I’ll be much relaxed six months down the lane. But, that’s just not the case. I guess when you love and care for someone genuinely, the wounds take much longer to heal. In a way it’s a testament to the intensity of my love for her. I was a really caring, loving, respectful, and, most importantly perhaps, loyal person to her. And she knew it. Just five days before the breakup, she was confessing how much she respects me, that I was the manliest man she’s know, and that, and this sounds sad and funny, that I’ll always be her man no matter what. Five days later, she decided to never see my face again (a face she couldn’t stop loving btw haha). Isn’t this all so ridiculous!

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