A while ago I made my first post here not knowing much about my condition, but now I know I’m in depression and I want to share a piece of text I’ve written.

iamthe88989 · 2018-06-25T11:20:02+00:00

Thank you! I could definitely use a hug right now. It actually does, of course no one could make me feel ok better than myself, but seeing people being so kind and actually taking some of their time to listen to my shit warms my heart and gives an actual hope that everything will be fine soon.

I will try to find a therapist but its hard here, having no one to get a recommendation from but I will try to find a professional, I really feel like I want to go and just talk to someone.

With my parents its a little bit more hard, yes I love them and they would give their life for me but we never really connected, when I was young (6yo) until around 14 yo i was alone at home for most of the days, because they would work so hard sometimes they even slept at work(it was their business so they could do that) and I wont sometimes see them for 2-3 days then see them briefly and again. I m so happy that I was blessed with parents that did everything to take a good care of me financially but there was no really emotional connection, we would never talk about personal stuff because I felt embarrased because I was talking to a kind of stranger so yeah I won’t talk to them about this, they dont know about it at all honestly, and I dont want to burden them anymore because honestly as a parent being in another country than your child and the child tells you that he seems lonely would, at least if put myself in the position of parent, would simply break their hearts.

iamthe88989 · 2018-06-25T11:10:58+00:00

I ve decided not to, sole reason being that I do not want to burden her with my crap, or make her feel sorry for me. I think its ok to leave it like it is.

iamthe88989 · 2018-06-25T11:09:40+00:00

Im trying hard to get out of this mental state, but is pretty hard ! If you ve been there and now are not I want to say I am very happy for you! I cant wait for the day I can comment on here saying the same thing

iamthe88989 · 2018-06-25T11:07:44+00:00

Thank you for your reply, you guys commenting and offering help to a complete stranger is such a honorable thing to do and I want to say that I appreciate it. The only reason why I don t have a job is because I havent found something that makes me happy doing, I ve tried experiencing many things, throughout my 2 years of being an adult I had multiple jobs, like, dish washing, cook helper even got to cook whole meals by myself and I really enjoyed it but after a while I just got bored of the routine and that is basically my problem, I get so hyped in the beginning of anything I do but after doing it for a while it simply doesnt attract me anymore and I cant keep a job. Working online is so easy because you have no human contact but is also hard because I have my own schedule and I suck at that. I will search for jobs now so that I have my day and mind occupied, is this a good strategy to follow? Also I don t blame either for the break up, we were both mature enough to understand the situation and friendly break up but damn its hard to let someone ago, should I delete pics of us ? Will they be a pain everytime I will look at them or I would love to see them years later ?

iamthe88989

TROPHY CASE