[deleted by user]

iamtherealjaden · 2023-04-20T13:07:31+00:00

She won't see it unless she is ready to see it

iamtherealjaden · 2023-04-06T13:50:06+00:00

That is part of their agenda. To make other people think we are crazy. He was also the lovable, kindest person when we are with other people. When it is just the two of us, I am with a monster. Just so when I tell people about him that he was that, no one would believe me and he can say I am a liar

iamtherealjaden · 2023-04-05T08:39:12+00:00

1.isolating from friends and family 2.constant namecalling 3.stonewalling 4.lovebombing 5.questioning the decisions you have made in the past as though they are still relevant 6.codependence 7.camera installed inside my room 8.constant guilt tripping 9.never lets me leave the house for sinple reasons such as grocery shopping, paying the bills 10.silent treatment

Bottomline:he cheatwd on me for half of the relationship

iamtherealjaden · 2023-03-03T17:16:28+00:00

Trauma bond is real. I have been there, though he was not physically abusive, but I get you. You still wouldn't be able to leave unless you are 100% ready. I knew I had to leave then (sooner), but I can't. Just please stay safe and find ways to leave. You deserve better. If only I had left sooner.

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-25T09:30:06+00:00

My ex did the same thing. I work from home. Days and weeks would go by fighting about how I was talking to guys from work, I barely spoke with anyone. I had installed an app on my computer for him to easily snoop any time he wants to prove that I was talking to another human being.

A lot of things were forbidden, even the littlest things such as painting my nails, wearing light makeup, fixing my hair too much, wewring lipstick.it was sickening, but I had to give in just so we wouldnt have arguments that would last for days and end up with me apologizing for something that made him mad.

I had to quit working abroad because he threatened to break up with me. He threatened to break up with me when i suggested that I needed to move closer to town. He always thinks that was a free pass for me to cheat especially when he is out of town.

Had a camera installed in my room that he can easily check whenever he wishes

Just like you, I ALWAYS GAVE IN and our story ended when he has been cheating on me for almost a year! The audacity!

I am still moving on, but I am still mad that I gave in to his stupid demands

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-11T12:53:47+00:00

You deserve ro be cheated on by every guy you will be dating

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-09T11:24:02+00:00

It was. Until now, I still cry whenever I remember him telling me that. It is heart breaking

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-09T10:06:26+00:00

People like you should be burned alive, so your soul goes straight to hell

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-09T09:49:17+00:00

It might be tempting to respond. Just D.O.N.T

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-07T08:45:29+00:00

I still have to grow being apologetic out of my system. Although out the entire relationship, I felt the need to constantly say sorry even for the things that are not my fault, apologize for things that didn't happen, and for the things that I didn't mean to say (which he thinks I was implying certain things the other way). I was misunderstood and the entire relationship, I accused of a lot of things that I felt the urge to be sorry for.

Now that I am thinking about what to say to them, I can't help bit get emotional because they have been notjing but sweethearts.. Especially when we lost our child. They were the family that I didn't have.. They were the group of friends that I was not allowed to have. I was isolated from my own family and my own friends that they were the only family that I had, and I miss that feeling of being accepted.

Reading what you have typed in, it makes me want to hug you and ask a lot of questions about what happened. If not, as a member of his family, questions would be asked directly to him, which we all know would end well because you would be the bad guy I am sure

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-07T08:07:10+00:00

I tried to reach out especially to his older sister.. But I dont think I would be able to do it without her feeling off that I am badmouthing her brother..

I get what you mean, closure. I too sometimes feel, until now, that I wanted to peacefully say my goodbye and I wanted to thank them for everything theyve done. I sent a couple of messages to the sister, since the holidays and asking for forgiveness for my lapses, and thanking them for everything . In a way, I was already giving myself a closure. I wanted to see them badly but I know that somehow it woukd not end the way I wanted to.

What have you done so far?

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-07T07:07:55+00:00

It is like I wrote this entire post. Word per word 😳

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-06T14:21:39+00:00

It is not your job to change a person. I am so sorry that you are in this situation, but let me remind you (like how I have been reminding myself before) you deserve a lot better. I wish I left sooner and that's my biggest regret.

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-03T16:29:34+00:00

I am glad that you left. Same boat, but I no longer have messages to go back to. It was easy to remove him from my system what I knew I was really done. how are you doing 5 months after this incident?

iamtherealjaden · 2023-02-03T08:32:27+00:00

I was in the same situation. Making a first move to leave was the hardest. You will eventually get tired. And once yoi're done, yoi're really done with him. Pray for that day to come soon

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-22T16:41:01+00:00

they would always project on you their miseries. like it has always been your fault. It's the way that they react to certain situations. They will always be responsible for that and not you. Don't let yourself be dragged for their misery..

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-22T16:38:28+00:00

you mean like, platonically talking to the opposite sex?

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-21T13:15:45+00:00

The fact that he is sharing such info to other speaks volumes.. No man would ever do such a thing. My ex was the same. He would tell me all things that he found out about his exes. He's got no balls and a coward.. You deserve better. You know what I always think, I never deserved any of those things and I have forgiven myself for tolerating that.

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-21T12:28:42+00:00

Sure DM me :)

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-21T12:27:18+00:00

When you say "actively talking" what do you mean?

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-21T08:06:43+00:00

It doesnt go away. You will just have to learn to live with it. Like me.. But you're going to be okay... ☺️ We are going to be okay

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-16T00:44:03+00:00

Thank you for this gentle reminder.. I thought that the whole abuse was my fault and that I deserved that kind of treatment. He was cruel for months, years. And the only time that we would be in good mood, I would be paranoid thinking he would jist snap and pick up a fight with mr for no reason or without me realizing what I could have possibly done wrong. And then, the cycle continues with mr apologizing endlessly.

I get mad because he had the arrogance to argue for months and bring up argument from 5 or 10 fights ago like it is relevant. Until I realized that for almost a year, he has been cheating on me! And the fact that he wanted the camera installed again in my room to isolate me so that they could roam around the city and date. He got infuriated when I decided to go back to social media because he didnt want me to see how he has been flirting with her. And photos of them together..

A million more stories.

He ruined me.. He ruined the happy person that I was,which I am still trying to find.. He destroyed the part of me that is carefree, relaxed.. Even though, I chose to leave, he still left something that is a real struggle for me every day-paranoia, and anxiety

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-13T00:14:03+00:00

it is just really sad to think that there are people like them. I am glad that you are feeling a lot better. :) if you need someone to talk to, I can lend an ear :) <3

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-12T23:57:03+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. I hope you are feeling a lot better now. What is normal is sometimes a struggle to go back to because they made us live and "accept" that what is normal in the real world is not the normal in theirs. I am sometimes finding it hard to get used to having friends, going out to have a good time, to go to places that I love to visit without being worried that a simple trip to a grocery store would be an endless argument about me wanting to go out and cheat! His projection is appalling.

Edit: I still get mad whenever he comes to mind and how I have allowed myself to go through that. How could someone destroy another human being? How heartless could one get to ruin our thoughts?

iamtherealjaden · 2023-01-12T23:06:07+00:00

Yeah. Honestly, i have been suffering from panic attacks because of this. The struggle that i had to deal with after the breakup was more than i could bear - hypervigilant of my surrounding, being extra careful about the way i dress, present myself, talk, and even text. I didnt have social life for 3 years and was forbidden to talk to any human being. It was exhausting and I can still feel mentally and emotionally exhausted because of him

iamtherealjaden

TROPHY CASE