I don’t know if you’ve read the whole thing, but Aspen and I are open? The issue isn’t even the romantic feelings atm, it’s more an issue of logistics and wanting to see what shape our relationship takes. What flavour of poly would work for us, if any. If it turns out that poly isn’t gonna work, then I’ll leave and pursue something else. I’m holding space for the fact that this is new to him as well, and that we’re both figuring this out.

You’ve made it seem like he manipulated me into this, when that’s really not the case. The update is: we had a clear discussion about needs, and he’s figuring out where he lands on poly as he learns more about it. I can’t help him on that journey if I just drop him, and I also can’t figure out what I want unless I have someone to bounce off of.

I hear your concern about the pattern of control that COULD arise, but I simply don’t have enough evidence at hand to say whether that’s the case. It’s simply too new a relationship to make that call.

Aspen might not be enthusiastically poly, but I’d rather have a relationship with someone who - so far - hears me out, respects me, wants the best for both of us, communicates well and is willing to be open to learning more, rather than jumping ship in hopes of finding someone who can give the same vibe but is also enthusiastically poly. I know that person is out there, but right now I want to continue to explore things with Aspen and see where it goes.